The Long Road
by RhysMerilot
Summary: Canon Divergence Post Season 5 – It's a long road to recovery, no matter what support one has throughout it all, but it will be finding and discovering a love unlike anything she ever experienced to make it through to the end. Warnings: Drug use/mentions, Suicide Attempts. Swan Queen is End Game [Complete]
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes: This is a bit different than what I usually write and it is told entirely from Regina's side. There is hard drug usage in this story along with two failed suicide attempts, so if any of that triggers you, I'm warning you now. Very, _very brief_ mentions of the two Beards in the very beginning (only to pave way to a bit of background to how they got to where they are now). This is slow-burn Swan Queen, focusing on their friendship first as it develops into more. This is a story I've been wanting to read and have yet to see one in this fandom as of yet, so I started writing it as per my own enjoyment and I'm sharing it because I hope others can enjoy the story, even in the hardest moments, as much as I have, and if you don't then that's okay too.**

 **TL;DR: see sentences two and three for warnings/triggers/etc.**

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Every day turned out to be another ordinary day, no more threats, no more magical beasts or villains to fight and defeat. It was a refreshing change after four years without so much as a break since the Dark Curse had been broken—and many others after that. Every day was so ordinary that everyone had fallen into an entirely different pace of life in their small, beloved seaside town in Maine.

The faint ticking of the clock out in the hallway made her left eye twitch and Regina Mills could begin to feel the weight of the long, busy day resting heavily on her shoulders. She tapped the tip of her pen along the dotted line of the work order that had sat on her desks for weeks for approval of some major road maintenance around the town. Her left eye began to twitch a little harder than before and she placed her pen down with a heavy sigh. She reached for the glass of water on the far right side of her desk and took a few sips before conjuring up some aspirin to dull the headache that was beginning to form at the base of her neck.

It had been six months since they had returned from the Underworld, a time in her life she found too hard to think back on because of the sacrifices that had been made there. They had all been given difficult choices and went through many trials, and it had all been for naught. Not everyone came back the night they found a way to escape from the Underworld within an each of their lives and nothing was ever going to be the same.

Regina had gone through her grief over Robin's sacrifice, his soul for hers, when a form of her mother had tried to tether her to that realm, to punish her for all the wrong and evil things she'd done in her life despite the very fact she had been on the road to redemption since the Dark Curse had been broken. She wasn't raising the child he had with Zelena as Robin had asked of her in the moments before his soul was tethered to that realm for all of eternity. She couldn't bear to look at the young girl long enough to care for her upon their return to their world.

Most days she found it easier to not think of him, for the pain he caused her and not just with his so-called noble sacrifice. She wasn't the only one who lost someone that night before they returned home. Emma couldn't save the man she'd fallen in love with and believed to be her soul mate, her true love, but their time in the Underworld have proven that was not the case, that Killian Jones was not her soul mate nor was he her true love.

Regina knew how devastated Emma had been to learn that, but she had also sensed there was a bit of relief their too, knowing for certain and not just on speculation or hope that it was true. Regina also knew that Emma had swallowed her grief in stride, showing the strong woman she had grown into being, the strong woman everyone knew her as in her time before becoming the Dark One. Emma never spoke of their time in the Underworld or even her time spent as the Dark One, and Regina never brought it up whenever they did speak.

Which wasn't often anymore, something Regina had only just realized as the throbbing in the back of her head grew worse and her mind filled with thoughts of all the times she and Emma had spoken in the last six months.

There were those twice a week dinner's at Granny's where she, Emma, and their son would sit in their usual booth and listen to Henry talk about school and his friends, especially the girl from Camelot who he had become completely enamored with, more so since their return from the Underworld and learning that this girl was his soul mate. It bothered Regina since he was still young, too young to have found the one he was meant to be with, and she knew it bothered Emma too, but Emma was all smiles whenever Henry spoke of Violet and she even teased him to the point where he'd be so embarrassed that he did anything he could to get away from them both.

There were the occasional lunch meetings, but those had become few and far in between as the months wore on. Regina figured after a few of those lunch meetings had been cancelled or simply forgotten about, that Emma was either busy with work or she just wanted some time to herself.

They occasionally passed one another in the streets, which too had become moments that were few and far in between ever since Emma took on the night shift at the station to give her father more time to be at home with the baby and his wife. While she worked throughout the night, she still made time for Henry whenever she could, but that also meant that their regular family dinner's at Granny's too had stopped completely.

Regina rubbed at the back of her neck, willing the pain away. A quick glance at her watch and after deeming it acceptable to call it a day with just ten minutes before five, she signed along the dotted line on the work order before packing up her things. She grabbed her purse and pulled out her keys as she strolled over to her closed office door, letting out a startled gasp when she nearly ran straight into her fourteen-year-old son.

"Henry, what are you doing here?" Regina asked him as she placed a hand over her chest for a second. "You scared me."

"Sorry Mom, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just on my way home from Nicholas' house and I thought maybe we could go home together?"

"Of course," Regina smiled and she led the way towards the stairs, pausing to lock her office door and then the outer office door a moment later. "Is there something on your mind, dear?"

Henry always had a telltale quirk when he wanted to talk, but wasn't sure how to bring it up. He'd nervously scratch at his arm or at the back of his neck, sometimes even looking slightly guilty or concerned, it all depended on the nature of what he wanted or needed to talk about.

"It's probably nothing," Henry shrugged. "I stopped at Ma's on the way and I know she was home since she doesn't go to work until seven. I forgot my key but she usually leaves the back door open. It was locked. I knocked on the door for ten minutes, Mom, and she never answered."

"I am sure she was just sleeping, dear," Regina said quietly and she led the way down the stairs. "Did you try to call her?"

"She keeps her phone off when she's sleeping, you know that."

Regina sighed and pushed open the door, allowing her son who was now taller than her to walk outside first. "I'm sure you are right, it is probably nothing," she said as they walked across the nearly empty parking lot to where she'd parked her car that morning.

"I hope so," he said with a slight frown. "Mom?"

"Yes?"

Henry shook his head. "You haven't noticed anything off about her, have you?" He asked and Regina paused before she unlocked the door. "I mean, she's been acting pretty strange ever since we got back and I thought at first it was because of what happened there, but I don't think that's it anymore."

"Acting strange?" Regina asked as they got into the car. "What do you mean by that, Henry?"

"I don't know, just not like herself, I guess. Sometimes when I'm over at the house, she'll be grouchy and tired, then she'll go upstairs for a little while and come back down acting completely different."

"How so?"

"Kind of hyper?" Henry shrugged. "I don't know, Mom, it's just weird. When she gets like that, she talks really fast and she gets really excited over the littlest things. There was one time she started acting like that, I woke up in the middle of the night, and she was vacuuming the rug in the living room, the same spot. The _exact_ same spot over and over again."

Regina had to admit that it did sound strange and not like Emma at all. She turned in her seat and placed a hand on Henry's shoulder. "I know it's been six months since we've returned, but perhaps your mother is still grieving? Everyone goes through the stages of grief in their own way."

"I don't know, Mom. It doesn't seem like that. She's either tired and grouchy all the time or she like…that."

"Is there anything else I need to be aware of, dear?"

Henry shrugged and Regina sighed as she gave his shoulder a small squeeze, trying to encourage him to speak. "She got really mad the other night because I was there when she woke up for work. She—she yelled at me, told me to go home and give her some space. Mom, that's my house too, but she was acting like it wasn't and she was so angry. I've never seen her like that before. She's scarier than you when you get angry at me for not cleaning my room."

"I see," Regina replied and she clenched her jaw, feeling the anger stirring deep inside her core. "I will speak to her about—"

"No," Henry said quickly. "Please don't, Mom. I think it's going to make everything worse."

"This is unacceptable, Henry. She is your mother and you have every right to want to be there with her as it is your home too. I will speak to her, not about the way she's been acting as you've told me, but of other arrangements regarding the time you spend with myself and with her."

"Grandpa said he's been trying to convince her to stop working nights," Henry said after a moment. "She told him to go fu—"

"Henry! Language!" Regina snapped before he could finish that sentence. "I think that perhaps your mother is going through something at the moment, something she believes she can deal with on her own. You know as well as I do that she is a very private person and ridiculously stubborn. This too, as with everything else we've all been through together, will pass in time."

"I hope so," he frowned as he exhaled sharply. "What are we having for dinner tonight, Mom?"

"We can stop at the diner and you can get your usual to bring home."

"And you?"

"I have a headache, dear. I am not hungry nor am I in the mood to cook. What I would like is to just go home and soak in the bath for a little while. It has been a very long, tiring day."

Regina drove the half a block to the diner, idling at the curb while Henry ran in to order himself a burger and fries to go. She picked up her Blackberry from inside her purse and turned it on, groaning when she found she had several missed calls from Mary Margaret. Her head was pounding and she didn't even bother to listen to the messages that were left on her voicemail, definitely not in the mood to hear Mary Margaret's voice and the excessive way the woman managed to babble on and on even just leaving what should be a simple message.

She placed her phone back in her purse and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel while she waited for Henry. She started to think about the way Emma had been acting since their return and while nothing was too out of the ordinary, she realized that she simply hadn't noticed just how much she had changed and just how much she had closed herself off from everyone, even their son.

For Emma to close herself off from Henry, it was indeed strange and not at all like herself. Henry was the most important person in Emma's life and Emma always made time for him, always. But as she thought more of it, she noticed a pattern she should've seen before. On the days that Henry was supposed to see her before she started her shift at the station for the night, he always ended up with his friends instead of with his mother.

"Ruby gave me an extra order of fries on the house," Henry grinned as he hopped into the Benz and slammed the door loud enough to cause Regina's head to start pounding even harder. "Sorry," he winced. "I didn't mean to slam the door that hard, Mom."

"Henry," Regina started as she turned to look at him. "When is the last time you actually spent any time with Emma?"

"Aside from the night I spent there two weeks ago and when I saw her when she yelled at me the other day?" Henry asked and he rolled his eyes. "I—I don't really know, Mom. She's always making excuses these days and I'm sick of it."

"This has been going on for quite some time now, hasn't it?" She asked quietly and he nodded before opening the paper bag to pluck out a few of the french fries. "How long has this been going on, Henry?"

"I don't know. Since we got back?"

"And you're only raising this issue with me now?"

"I'm sure it's nothing, Mom. Maybe she's just tired working nights. I mean there really can't be a whole lot for her to do all night, right? Especially now since Leroy stopped drinking too much and she doesn't have to deal with him and the brawls he started at the Rabbit Hole."

"Henry, why didn't you say something before?"

"I don't know. I keep thinking it's nothing, that maybe she is just grieving or whatever and needs some personal space."

"Perhaps."

"Come on, let's go home, Mom. I'm starving and my food is going to get cold before we get home at this rate."

[X]

By Friday morning, just two days after Henry raised the issue with Emma acting out of sorts, Regina had spoken with Mary Margaret who raised the very same issue as it had been almost two weeks since she had seen or heard from Emma at all. It was troubling to Regina because she felt that it was something she should have noticed long before now, because she and Emma had become friends and that friendship had been strong, even throughout the trials and tribulations they faced in the Underworld and in the short time after their return.

The more she tried to piece it all together for herself, the more frustrated she became. Her phone calls to Emma, even at the station in the middle of the night, were being ignored. She left only two messages for her, the last one giving her an ultimatum concerning Henry. She regretted it almost the instant she had hung up, the ultimatum threatening to keep her from seeing Henry if she did not return the phone calls.

Regina had only been in her office for just shy of an hour when her phone began to ring. She glanced at the caller ID and frowned. It wasn't Emma. It was David calling from the station. She cleared her throat before she picked up the receiver.

"Hello David," she said easily as she leaned back in her leather chair.

"Hello Regina," he replied. "I don't want to concern you, but I have reason to believe that Emma didn't come in to the station for work last night."

"Oh?" Regina leaned forward in her chair. "Why is that?"

"There is some paperwork I left for her and she was supposed to follow up on a call that came in the other night. I left her a fresh pot of coffee that hasn't been touched."

"Are you surprised that she hasn't done the paperwork, David? It would not be the first time she's refused to do her job properly."

"I'm not surprised," he replied and he didn't sound amused. "It's the follow up call she was supposed to make. I have Brent Woods in custody and his wife is in the hospital. It was a domestic violence dispute, an allegation actually, and if she had followed up on that call like she said she was going to, I'm absolutely certain that Mrs. Woods would not have been beaten within an inch of her life last night."

Regina pinched at the bridge of her nose, and while the news was concerning, she was more concerned about Emma in that moment. "Is Mrs. Woods going to be all right, David?"

"She should be. Brent turned himself in after I received a call early this morning from Dr. Whale about his wife," David replied and she heard him sigh heavily. "I am worried about her."

"His wife?"

"Emma," David said quietly. "This isn't the first time she hasn't shown up for her shift. I thought before it was just because she was too tired and hadn't been sleeping, but it keeps happening."

"How many times has she declined to show up for her shift, David?"

"This past month? Six times. I was going to talk to you about it, but I wanted to try and talk to her first, find out why she didn't show up or why she didn't call me to tell me she wasn't coming in. Snow is concerned about her too."

"I talked to her the other morning, I know," Regina said and she leaned back in her chair and switched the receiver to her left ear. "Henry raised the same concerns the other day."

"Something is going on, Regina. I don't know what, but she's definitely not acting like herself. I know that you told us when we got home that she probably won't be the same after everything she had been through, but this is different, isn't it?"

"I am not sure, I haven't spoken with her myself in weeks, actually."

"Weeks? That's unusual, even for you two."

"Yes, but unfortunately I hadn't noticed until Henry spoke to me about her recent behavior. I've been busy. Too busy, it seems, to notice the changes Emma has been going through as of late."

"I'm worried about her, Regina."

"I know, David, as am I. I will try to speak with her today, but seeing how she's avoiding all of our phone calls, I may have to make a visit over to the house."

"She won't answer the door."

"She won't for Henry either," Regina replied and she looked up at her closed office door as a knock sounded. "I need to go. I have an unannounced visitor that just showed up."

"All right. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before that Emma hasn't been showing up for some of her shifts."

"It's all right, David. No need to apologize. I will speak with you later," she said and she quickly ended the call before waving a hand towards the door to unlock it. "Come in," she called out and she folded her hands on top of her desk as the door opened and Henry tentatively came inside. "Henry, what are you doing here? You should be in school."

"I know."

"This better be important," Regina said firmly and she pointed to the seat in front of her desk. "What is going on? Why are you here and not in school? You have one week left before summer vacation starts and—"

"She changed the locks," Henry muttered as he sat down heavily in the chair. "I saw her drive by on the way to school, so I got off the bus at the next stop and went to see her. When she didn't answer the door, I tried my key. It didn't work."

"Henry—"

"She _changed_ the locks, Mom," he said firmly, his eyes filling with angry tears as his voice cracked. "Why would she do that?"

"I'm not sure, dear, but I promise you that I will pay her a visit this afternoon and find out for myself just what the hell is going on."

"You will?"

"Yes," Regina nodded and she glanced at the watch on her wrist. "And you, young man, need to get to school. I'll write you a note, but this is the last time something like this happens, do you understand me?"

"Yes Mom."

Regina quickly scribbled him a note to give to the office when he arrived at school and after he left, she got back to the mountain of paperwork that just seemed to be growing with each day that passed. Several ordinances needed to be signed by the lunch hour, she had a meeting itinerary to finish by the end of the day, and she could already feel a stress headache coming on, nagging at the back of her neck and moving down her shoulders.

Like most of the week, it was a long day filled with paperwork in between some scheduled appointments she had with some of the maintenance workers to go over their work order one last time before they were due to start the work on repairing some of the potholes and cracks on the main roads around town. She ordered in from Granny's for lunch, her mind reeling back to Emma for the first time in hours when she remembered all the times that Emma was the one who brought her lunch from Granny's instead of having Granny send one of the bus boys to deliver it to her.

She missed those lunches they'd have, the light and playful banter that broke up a long day for them both. She missed the corny jokes that Emma would tell her just to make her roll her eyes and laugh. She even missed talking about Henry's sort of girlfriend and hearing Emma come up with new and creative ways to prevent the two of them from spending too much time alone.

By three that afternoon, and with her headache lingering, but not as intense as it had been that morning, she packed up her things for the weekend and headed down to her car. She turned on her Blackberry once she was inside and was not surprised to find a text waiting for her from Henry, one that reminded her to go and check on Emma before she came home.

The drive to Emma's house was a little longer than it took her to drive to her own home and she pulled up behind Emma's Volkswagen and shifted the gear into park. She had spent the drive there convincing herself that it was nothing, that Emma was just having a rough couple of weeks and that it would pass in due time. She convinced herself that Emma was just tired, for whatever reason, and that it would justify her recent strange and out of character behavior.

As Henry had mentioned the other day, all the blinds and drapes were drawn shut, and as Regina walked up to the front porch, she could feel lingering traces of Emma's magic. She pulled out her keys and located the one that Emma had given to her the very same day she had given Henry his own key.

Regina knocked on the door first and took a step back, waiting for a few minutes before she knocked again, a little louder than the first time. After another few minutes passed, she tried the key, but she knew from the shiny new deadbolt that was on the front door that the key she had wasn't going to work. Henry had been right. Emma had changed the locks and the thought of Emma doing something like that infuriated her.

Regina pocketed her keys in her blazer pocket and waved a hand over the lock, but her magic wasn't working as it was being blocked by a spell, a powerful one at that and one she knew she wouldn't be able to break through easily. She walked around the house and into the backyard. She walked up to the back door that led to the kitchen and tried the handle. She didn't bother with her key since she saw another shiny new deadbolt on the door and again she tried magic, coming into contact with the very same, strong spell.

Growling in frustration, Regina tried to transport herself inside the house, but there was another spell in place and all she managed to do was transport herself to the front porch. She clenched her hands into fists and started pounding on the door to no avail, stopping herself when she felt the skin on her knuckles becoming a little raw.

"I know you're in there, Swan! Our son is worried about you and you owe him an explanation as to why you've locked him out of his own house!"

There was still nothing, no answer and no obvious sign of Emma. With no way to gain entry inside the house, Regina simply had to give up, but she would try again in the morning, first thing.

She called Emma once she was back in the car, but the call went straight to her voicemail where an automatic voice informed her that the inbox was full. With a low growl, Regina tossed her phone onto the passenger seat and drove home, not looking forward to the look of disappointment she knew she was going to receive when she told Henry that she had been unable to get into the house to speak with his other mother.

Henry was understandably upset and they cooked dinner together in silence. She allowed him to eat in the den in front of the TV while she stayed in the kitchen, eating her rather bland piece of chicken and pasta at the island countertop while her mind was filled with nothing but thoughts of what could possibly be going on with Emma.

Regina made arrangements that night for Henry to spend the day with his grandparents and bright and early the next morning, after some protest from her teenaged son about it being too early to be awake on a Saturday morning, she dropped him off at his grandparents' loft and drove straight to Emma's house.

She didn't even bother with the front door, walking around into the backyard where she was surprised to see the back door had been propped open and she could see Emma sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee with the Storybrooke Mirror open on the table in front of her.

"Regina, hey—"

"Don't," Regina snapped as she strolled right in and stopped just a foot away from her with her hands on her hips. "You owe our son an explanation, Swan."

"For what?"

Regina scoffed. "You've changed the locks," she pointed out. "I recall you telling me that this house is as much as Henry's home too. I'm absolutely certain that means he should never be denied entry to his own home."

"Yeah, I forgot to give him a key. I've been busy, work and all. When I'm not working, I'm sleeping and he's been in school or hanging out with his friends—"

"Cut the bullshit, Emma," Regina snapped and she had to take a few deep breaths to remain calm. "You have been ignoring not just our son, but everyone else, and I want to know why."

"I told you, I've been busy," Emma shrugged nonchalantly. She took a sip of her coffee before pointing to a small envelope on the counter by the refrigerator. "There is a copy of the new key in there. One for you and one for Henry. I just haven't had the chance to give them to you guys, that's all."

"That doesn't explain why, when I came here yesterday afternoon, that you have put a barrier spell not just on the locks but the house as well."

"Can't I have some peace and quiet sometimes, Regina?" Emma asked and her voice was oddly calm. Too calm. "I think it's better if you leave, Regina. You're clearly pissed off about me changing the locks—"

"You've been avoiding your son," she snapped. "There is no viable excuse for avoiding your own son."

"I was sleeping," Emma shrugged. "I didn't hear him. I would've answered the door and let him in if I heard him. I am a pretty heavy sleeper. Nothing can wake me up when I get into a state like that."

"You may have forgotten that not only are we raising and co-parenting Henry together, but we are also friends now, Emma. We've been friends for quiet some time, have we not?" Regina sighed when Emma just shrugged again and it took a lot of self-control not to throttle her for acting the way she was. "Our son is worried about you. I am worried about you. Something is going on with you, Emma, and I swear to you that I am going to figure out what it is—"

"There is nothing going on with me," Emma replied defensively. "I work nights. I sleep during the day. What more do you want me to say?"

Regina clenched her jaw and fought to keep the words she wanted to say from slipping out. She stared at Emma for a long, hard moment, noticing how dark the circles were under her eyes, how her hair looked a little limp and disheveled. She even looked thinner than she remembered seeing her the last time, her skin almost too pale as well.

Regina turned on her heels and left, not exiting the way she came, but towards the front of the house and out the front door. She had to resist the urge to slam the door shut behind her. Just because Emma was acting like a selfish child doesn't mean she had to pull the same act as well.

She returned later that day, determined to get some answers out of Emma, answers for Henry if not for any other reason. But like the day before, the house was locked and sealed up tight. It was her determination for answers that wouldn't let her give up. She couldn't just give up and admit defeat when she knew now for certain that there was definitely something going on with Emma and it was not good at all.

Regina walked along the other side of the house and located the old cellar door. She waved a hand over the broken lock and didn't detect any magic. She took a deep breath and pulled it open, gasping in surprise that it actually opened at all. It was dark, but with a flick of her fingers, a small orb of light led the way across the dirt and stone floor to the stairs.

She kept quiet, taking the old, creaky stairs one at a time until she reached the door, the same door Emma had once enchanted with the very same spell she had used to secure her house—to secure every door and every window aside from the old cellar door she had more than likely forgotten was even there. She winced at the way the door creaked as she opened it, but when she heard a soft cry and a thump coming from upstairs, she no longer cared about being quiet and she ran up the stairs as quickly as she could.

She followed the soft sounds of whimpers and moans to Emma's bedroom and she gasped in surprise, not at the messy state that her room was in, but at the woman on the floor by the foot of the bed, laying in a rather uncomfortable looking position with a needle in her left arm.

"Emma?" Regina called out as she stepped over a pile of clothes on the floor and inched her way over to her. "Emma?"

Emma moaned quietly, but she didn't move and she didn't open her eyes. Regina knelt down in front of her and eased her up into a sitting position, wincing at the way her head lolled to the side. She could feel her skin burning up from where she was holding firm on to her shoulders and she gently pulled the needle out of Emma's arm before giving her a shake in an attempt to wake her up.

"Emma, open your eyes," Regina demanded. "Emma?"

Panic flooded her all at once. She tried to get Emma up from the floor, but her body was like deadweight, unmovable in her current state. Somehow, without magic because it hadn't crossed her mind until after she had dragged Emma out into the hallway, and after she got Emma into the bathroom and into the tub. She turned on the cold water and pulled the nozzle upwards to turn on the overhead spray. Regina held her breath as Emma just laid there for a moment before her eyes opened in shock and surprise as the cold water rained down hard on her whole body.

"Regina?" Emma gasped. "What the hell?"

"Saving your life, apparently," she snapped. "What the hell is wrong with you? What do you think you are doing, Emma?"

"Regina—"

"Are you doing drugs?" Regina demanded. "Emma?"

Emma frowned as she shivered and moved out from under the spray of the water. Her head clunked against the tiled wall as she leaned back and wrapped her arms around herself, shivering.

"What do you think?" Emma muttered, her words slightly slurred. She could barely even open her eyes and when she did, she avoided Regina's intense gaze and reached out for the tap in an attempt to turn the water off. She fell short and gave up, her arm falling limply to her side. "It makes everything go away."

"What?"

"The guilt," Emma whispered. "The pain. The emptiness. It makes it go away. Nothing else works."

"What is it?" Regina asked just as quietly and she turned off the water before sitting down on the edge of the tub. "What are you using, Emma?"

"It doesn't matter," she muttered. "I'm going to stop. I swear. I'm going to."

"What are you using?" Regina tried again. "Emma? Emma, tell me, please?"

Emma just shook her head and closed her eyes again, her teeth chattering as she shivered uncontrollably and tried to weakly fight the chill that wracked her weak body, tried and failed. Regina stood up and grabbed the fluffy white towel off the hook on the back of the door and after several attempts to wake Emma up, she tried to wrap her up in the towel as she sat awkwardly in the tub, her clothes soaked through and her head lolled to the left side.

Regina reluctantly walked out of the bathroom and back into Emma's bedroom. Disaster wasn't the word she'd use for the state that it was in. Clothes were everywhere along with some empty liquor bottles and take-out cartons near the bed. It even faintly smelled of stale cigarette smoke and Regina spotted the overflowing ashtray on the nightstand that sat beside an opened and nearly empty pack of cigarettes.

She bent down to pick up the needle where she'd tossed it on the floor where she had found Emma and her eyes roamed over the room until they landed on the dresser, more specifically to what was laying on top. There was a lighter, a bent spoon with residue lining it, and beside that was a crumpled piece of tinfoil with black, almost tar-like substance in the middle. She shakily placed the used needle down beside the paraphernalia and reached into her blazer pocket for her phone while her whole body filled with dread.

"David, it's me. I'm at Emma's right now and there is something—something that you need to know. Can you meet me outside? Five minutes? See you then."

She didn't know what Emma was on, but she knew enough to know that whatever she had put into her body, it wasn't the first time and it likely wouldn't be the last. Taking a little of what was on the foil, she headed downstairs and waited for Emma's father to show up. The dread that filled her body weighed her down completely and the last thing she wanted was for David to find out his own daughter was pumping herself full of drugs.

Whatever Emma was going through, whatever was going through her mind, it was beyond anything Regina could relate to. This was a different kind of darkness, that she knew, one far darker that giving into dark magic and evil impulses.

But she knew then that she wasn't about to give up on Emma. She couldn't give up on Emma. Not when they had come so far, not when they had gone through all that they had together. Emma was strong, one of the strongest women that she had even known, and even at her weakest, Regina knew she could find a way to bring back the Emma that she knew was still there.


	2. Chapter 2

Regina was waiting on the front porch when David pulled up in the sheriff's cruiser, parking on the opposite side of the street. She watched him grip on to the steering wheel and take a few deep breaths before he got out of the car and made his way up the front path to where Regina was leaning against the pillar by the steps.

"Is she okay?" David asked quietly. "She's okay, isn't she?"

"I'm not certain," Regina replied and she tightened her fist around the small amount of the drug she'd taken. "I don't know what she's on, David, but she was completely out of it when I showed up."

"On?" David blinked in confusion.

"Drugs," she murmured and she held out her hand, the small piece of black, tar-like substance sticking to the palm of her hand. "I found this in her room."

"What is it?"

"I don't know," Regina snapped irritably. "I need you to take it down to the station, get it tested. Emma isn't willing to talk, at least not right now."

"Okay," David said with a small nod and he pulled out an empty gum wrapper from the back pocket of his jeans before he took the small piece from Regina's palm. "Is she okay, Regina?"

"She's alive, if that's what you're asking."

"Do you think this is why she's been acting this way?"

"I suspect as much, yes," she nodded before she crossed her arms over her chest. "We need to keep this quiet. We can't have anyone finding out that the Savior has been pumping herself full of drugs for god knows how long now. The last thing I need is for Henry to find out about this."

"You have my word, Regina, no one is going to find out."

"You cannot, I repeat, you can absolutely not tell Snow."

David shook his head uneasily. "I won't tell her," he said quietly yet sincerely. "Regina, what are we going to do? What are we going to do about this, about Emma? How are we going to put a stop to this?"

"I don't know," Regina sighed. "I—I'll figure it out."

"I should go talk to her. Maybe if I talk to her—"

"No," Regina said as she grabbed on to the back of David's shirt when he tried to walk past her and into the house. "I do not think that is a good idea. She's high. The last thing she needs is for her father to come swooping in to try and save the day, to save her."

Despite having been in this very world for just over thirty years, Regina was inexperienced in many things as Storybrooke had always been so cut off from the rest of the world in many ways. She wasn't completely oblivious, but she was enough to not know what the hell Emma had put into her body to render her into such a state.

"I'll run down to the station, get this tested," David said before he placed it carefully into his pocket. "I'll let you know what it comes back as, unless you get Emma to talk."

"And how," Regina asked incredulously. "How do you expect me to get her to talk when she's high, David?"

"Will you stay here with her?" He asked, avoiding the question. "Regina? Will you stay here with her? Please give me a peace of mind knowing she isn't going to be alone right now."

"I will stay," Regina said after a moment. "But I'm not certain she will want me to when she wakes up."

Regina was taken by surprise as David surged towards her and hugged her tightly. "I don't know if you realize this, Regina, but you're her best friend. If there is anyone she trusts more than anything in this world, it's you."

His words hit a part of her she hadn't felt in a very long time and it took all that she had not to show too much emotion when David pulled back and cleared his throat, his eyes doing the apologizing for hugging her the way he had without words.

"Henry can stay over with us tonight," he said with a slight shrug. "I know you won't want him staying at home alone tonight if you're here. I—I won't tell him what is going on."

"David—"

"We'll have a guy's night, just the two of us. I'll make sure he's safe, Regina."

She stammered slightly, words not quite forming as she stared at the man before her, the very same man she had hated for many years because of Snow White. Past grievances had long since been forgotten and especially since their return from the Underworld, she had found a friend in David, a very unlikely friend and ally.

Regina headed back inside only once David had gotten back into the cruiser and drove off. Her hands were shaking as she climbed up the stairs in the quiet house and she stopped at the bathroom door, surprised to find that Emma had gotten herself out of the tub. She wrung her hands as she turned and walked to Emma's bedroom door. Inside she found the woman face down on her bed, stripped down just to her underwear with her wet clothes and the towel on the floor.

She quietly picked up the wet clothes and the wet towel and placed them in the empty hamper beside the closet and before she even realized what she was doing, since it was mostly out of habit when she did it for Henry, she was picking up the rest of Emma's clothes from the floor.

She carried the full hamper downstairs to the laundry room and after she put on one load, she grabbed a trash bag and headed back up to Emma's bedroom, quietly cleaning up the empty liquor bottles and take-out boxes. Not once did Emma stir and she checked several times to make sure that Emma was still indeed breathing. Not knowing how depended Emma was on the drug she'd been putting into her body for who knows how long, Regina left the paraphernalia on top of the dresser,

She left Emma's room after she had pulled up the sheet over her nearly naked body. Once she had switched the load to the dryer and put another on, she took in the state of Emma's kitchen. Stacks of plates and other dishes were piled in the sink and on the counter. She sighed and slipped off her blazer and rolled up the sleeves of her blouse, getting to work at cleaning the mess in the kitchen and doing so as quietly and quickly as she could.

Regina text Henry just after nine that night, relieved when he didn't ask for any kind of an explanation, just responded with his usual "I love you" and a good night. Regina put the kettle on to make herself a cup of tea, and while she waited for the water to boil, she switched the load in the machines and folded up the clothes she'd pulled out of the dryer. Her lips were curled into a deep frown as she headed back into the kitchen, lifting the kettle off the burner just before it started to whistle.

A part of her felt guilty, guilty because Emma had been going through this alone and no one had noticed, no one had noticed for months that she had been slipping into a whole different kind of darkness. Regina found the teabags in a cupboard and after she poured the hot water into a clean mug, she brought the mug to the table and sat down.

She sighed when she heard the creak of the stairs and she turned to look at Emma as she strolled into the kitchen in just her underwear and a tank top. Emma didn't even look at her as she walked over to the refrigerator.

"What are you doing here?"

"I've made some tea," Regina replied as she motioned to the kettle and the mug that sat on the counter. "Make yourself a cup and sit down, Swan."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Emma snapped. "Did you—did you clean my kitchen?"

"Yes, now go make yourself a cup of tea and _sit down_ ," she ordered firmly.

"How did you get in?" Emma asked, ignoring her demands to sit down at the table.

"Cellar door was left unlocked and untouched by magic. Whatever spell you've used, it is definitely strong enough. I couldn't break past it yesterday."

"That's the whole point."

"Why?"

"I want to be left alone," Emma muttered as she walked over to the stove and grabbed the handle on the kettle. "I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask, Regina?"

"No, but you didn't have to change the locks and keep our son out either. You couldn't just told him that you wanted to be alone for a little while. He's fourteen. He would've understood."

"I—I don't want him to know."

"Know what?" Regina asked casually. "Know that his mother is doing drugs? Know that his mother had passed out and would probably have died if I hadn't been here to send a shock to your system?"

"Yeah that was super fun, Regina. Thanks for that. Nothing like ruining a good high by being thrown in the tub and sprayed with ice cold water," Emma drawled, her voice laced thick with sarcasm. She turned to pour the hot water into the mug and placed the kettle back down on the stove. "What did you do to all my clothes?"

"I washed them."

"Great, one less thing to worry about tomorrow," Emma muttered and she wrapped her hands around her mug and stared at Regina. "Why are you even here?"

"Our son was worried about you," she said quietly. "I was worried about you. How long has this been going on, Emma?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Nobody noticed," she whispered. "Nobody fucking noticed that I wasn't okay when we got back. Nobody asked me what was wrong. You all just assumed that I was grieving, that I felt defeated. You didn't even notice when it started either, just like everyone else."

"Emma—"

"I started drinking," she continued, ignoring Regina. "It didn't work. I made a trip down to Portland, stayed there for a few days," she sighed. "Nobody noticed that I had left, Regina. Not even my own parents."

"Emma, I knew you had left," Regina tried. "I just assumed that you needed a few days to yourself. Henry noticed."

"You assumed, just like everyone else," Emma spat and she shook her head, pausing to take a sip of her tea. "I was at this bar, on my seventh shot of whiskey, when I met this guy. I don't know what it was, maybe it was the whiskey, maybe it was just the way he spoke, but it was easy to talk to him because he listened and he didn't try to interrupt me the way that you and everyone else constantly do."

Regina swallowed thickly and waited for Emma to continue. In all the years that she had known Emma, she had never seen Emma act this way and speak this way. She could hear the pain, the guilt, and the anger in every word that slipped past her lips.

"He was a nice guy, tall, little too skinny, and when we got kicked out of the bar because we'd had far too much to drink, he asked me to come back to his place for a little extra fun," Emma said and she chuckled dryly. "Turns out his idea of a little extra fun is four lines of coke, one right after the other. I figured, what the hell, right? It did nothing for me. Nothing, Regina. His girlfriend came around that night with something stronger."

Regina stared down into her cup before taking a sip. "Is that what you're using now? What his girlfriend came back with?"

"Yes."

"And it worked?"

"Yes," Emma muttered under her breath. "Works for a little while, at least. Gives me a break from—you know what? You wouldn't understand."

"I understand a hell of a lot more than you give me credit for, Emma."

"Anyway, I bought a few grams off this guy's girlfriend, went on a bit of a bender for almost two days and woke up in my car, feeling like absolute fucking shit. I was sick. Really sick. I found the guy and his girlfriend and she hooked me up with enough to get through a week and I headed home when I wasn't sick anymore. Nobody noticed, Regina. Nobody noticed how many times I'd walked into Granny's high. Nobody noticed anything."

"And how many times have you been high around our son?" Regina asked tentatively. "Emma?"

"I wasn't, not at first. I was doing okay, just using enough to keep from getting sick, but the nightmares came back. I started using more and the nightmares went away, at least they did most of the times, day or night, whenever sleep finally came. Without the nightmares, it's easier to forget everything. But," Emma said and she paused, taking a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "But it got to the point where I couldn't go more than a few hours without. Being around Henry, around you, around anyone, was too hard."

"So, you figured you'd shut us all out, literally lock us out of your life, and not notice that something is going on with you?"

"You didn't notice anything else before, so what difference would it make, Regina? Huh?"

"You need to stop," Regina said evenly. "You're going to end up killing yourself if you don't, Emma."

"It's been six months," Emma continued. "Six fucking months and nobody noticed a goddamn thing until you came around yesterday. Would you have come around if Henry didn't ask you to? I don't think you would've, Regina."

"I'm sorry," she offered. "I'm sorry for not noticing that something was going on with you, Emma. I thought you needed space, I thought that you needed time alone to grieve—"

"Grieve?" Emma laughed bitterly. "I've grieved, Regina. Twice. I'm done grieving for _him_. He is _not_ coming back. It took me a while, but I've accepted that. I've moved on."

"Have you?"

"Yes."

"By shooting yourself up, spending your days and nights high on—"

"Heroin," Emma muttered under her breath. "What I've been using is heroin, Regina, so you can call my dear old dad and tell him not to waste his time and the town's money on testing out that bit you stole from me. I know that you gave it to him. I heard you talking outside."

"Emma—"

"I think that you need to leave," Emma said through gritted teeth as she placed her mug down hard on the counter. "Now, Regina."

Regina rose from the chair slowly and picked up her blazer. Her eyes didn't leave Emma's angry once as she slipped her blazer on and placed her hands in the pockets. She hated the way Emma looked at her and she hated the state that Emma was in. She could see Emma shaking as she scratched at the track marks on her left arm. With a shake of her head, she started to walk out of the kitchen, turning to look back at Emma.

"There is a load in the washer and one in the dryer," she said lowly. "Don't forget that it is in there."

"Yeah, thanks."

Regina clenched her jaw before turning away and walked to the front door. She was barely out the front door when it was slammed hard behind her. Tears filled her eyes as she felt the magic encasing the house once more, effectively shutting her out with no way to get back inside.

She spent the next hour driving around town, not wanting to go home to her empty house where she'd just be hounded by the thousands of thoughts barreling through her mind all night long. Not that they weren't there while she drove through the quiet town, but they would be louder in the emptiness of her home. On her second drive past the station, she saw David's truck parked in the lot and she pulled her car up along the curb just out front and got out.

She found David sitting at his desk with his feet propped up on the edge and his hands folded over his lap. He frowned as he dropped his feet to the floor as Regina walked over and took a chair to sit across from him.

"Weren't you going to have a guy's night with Henry?"

"Yeah," David nodded. "We did. Snow put him to bed not too long ago and I came back down here. Someone needs to be here tonight. How is she?"

"Not good," Regina replied. "She's angry. She's angry for a lot of reasons, David."

"Is it because of what happened there?"

"Yes," she nodded. "For other reasons too, I suspect. Did you test what I gave you?"

"I did the NIC test. Came back positive for—"

"Heroin," Regina finished for him. "She told me."

David sighed as he sat back in his chair and shook his head. Regina could see the pain and the disbelief written all over his face. "I can't believe we didn't see what was going on all this time, Regina."

"She hid it well. She doesn't want Henry to know. I don't think she wanted any of us to know what she's been doing to herself."

"How are we going to help her stop?"

"I don't know," Regina said softly. "I know nothing about this drug she's been using, but I do know that she's become dependent on it. She told me that if she doesn't use for a few hours, she gets sick."

David groaned quietly and ran his hands through his hair a few times. He shook his head and leaned forward, staring straight at her. "Is she doing this because she's grieving?"

"No. She feels guilty, David. She mentioned that she'd been having nightmares and that by using this drug, they aren't there anymore, that she doesn't feel all the things she's been burdened with since we came home. She's angry that nobody noticed that she was not okay after we came back, that nobody noticed all this time."

"We knew she wasn't—"

"No, nobody noticed, David. Little things, odd changes to her behavior, but nobody noticed just how not okay she truly is," Regina said and she felt the tears stinging in her eyes, tears she would not dare let to fall in front of him. "She placed the spell around the house the second I left. I—I should do some research and see if I can find a way to counter it. If she stays locked up in that house alone, I—I fear what she may end up doing to herself. When I found her earlier, she was burning up and barely breathing."

"What can we do, Regina?"

"I don't know. We need to help her, but how can you help someone who doesn't want to be helped? The state of mind that she is in, there is no getting through to her when she is like this," she said with a soft sigh. "It was horrible," she said after a moment, a lump rising in her throat. "Seeing her like that, listening to the way she spoke. I have never seen her like that before."

"None of us have, Regina."

Regina stood up from the chair and slipped her hands into her pockets. "I'm going to head home, do some research. You should go home too, David."

"Someone needs to be here tonight."

"And tomorrow?" Regina questioned with an eyebrow raised until he sighed. "Go home, David, and whatever you do—"

"Don't tell Snow or Henry what is going on with Emma," he finished with a nod. "You know we can't keep this from them for much longer, don't you?"

"Right now I believe if they knew, it would cause her to spiral even further into the darkness she's surrounded herself in. Snow will want to talk to her and you know what she is like when she gets something in her head. She won't listen to reason, not when it comes to Emma. Henry will want to do the same thing. What is with it with you Charming's and your infuriating stubbornness?"

"Runs in the family," David chuckled lightly. "Good night, Regina."

[X]

After a long night of pouring over dozens of spell books and tomes, Regina entered her kitchen with a sleepy yawn and put on a pot of coffee. She had found the spell that Emma used, at least one very similar. There was a counter-spell she could use to get past it, it was hard, and it would require a lot of magic, but she was confident that she could do it when she needed to next.

She had spent the rest of the night into the early hours of the morning on her laptop in the study, reading everything she could on the drug of Emma's choice. What she had read had left her with fear that Emma was on a never-ending path of self-destruction and one that she'd have extreme difficulty getting off of on her own. The side effects of withdrawal sounded like a living nightmare to Regina, and she couldn't imagine how it would actually feel to go through any of that. It was no wonder Emma couldn't stop, but Regina was determined to find a way, to help her, to get her on the road to recovery.

She hadn't slept at all, but despite being exhausted, her mind wouldn't shut off long enough to allow her a few hours of sleep anyway. She waited for the coffee to finish brewing and she nearly jumped when she heard the front door open.

"Mom?" Henry called out and she sighed softly.

"In the kitchen, dear."

"Hey," he smiled when he walked in the kitchen a moment later. "Grandpa dropped me off on his way to the station. Now I know why Ma wanted her own place. I have never heard Neal cry like that."

"Didn't get much sleep, did you?"

"No. You didn't either, did you?"

"No," Regina replied honestly. "I've been up doing some research."

"Oh?"

"It's nothing to concern yourself with, dear. I was just trying to figure out what spell it is that your mother used on the locks."

"And did you find it?"

"Yes, dear."

"Mom—"

"Why don't you go upstairs and go back to bed for a few hours?" Regina suggested lightly. "You need your sleep, Henry."

"You do too, Mom."

"I'll be fine," she said quietly. "We can have lunch when you get up later if you'd like?"

"I—I kind of made plans to hang out with Nick and Ava today. And—and Violet."

Regina just smiled at the way that Henry's cheeks flushed pink at the mention of his girlfriend. Henry just hurried out of the kitchen and Regina yelled out at him not to run up the stairs, an order he, as always, ignored. She sighed in annoyance and silently chastised him for being too much like his other mother at times.

Regina made herself a cup of coffee and carried it into her study. She sat down at the desk and opened the laptop. She looked into recovery options, weighed out the pros and the cons, and there was no way that Emma would get the drugs out of her system without living through some, if not all the symptoms that were listed.

There were herbs from back in the Enchanted Forest that Regina knew could alleviate most of the withdrawal symptoms, but she didn't have access to the ones she needed. She wasn't even entirely sure that there were any in Storybrooke at all, but if there were, there would be only one place where they would be kept. The convent.

The Blue Fairy had been on neutral ground with her for a while, but that didn't mean Regina particularly looked forward to having any type of conversation with the fairy. She knew she had to weigh all her options in order to help Emma in any and every way that she could, and if that meant making a trip to visit the Blue Fairy, then she would have to go through with it to procure the herbs she would need.

Regina headed upstairs after she finished her coffee, stripping out of yesterday's clothes and hopped into the shower. The heat of the water made her feel impossibly more tired than she already was and she turned the nozzle, giving herself a shock to the system with a blast of cold water before she turned the water off and stepped out of the glass shower.

She dressed and checked in on Henry, before leaving him a note on the refrigerator to let him know she had gone out to run a few errands. He didn't need to know anything more than that, and she wondered as she drove to the convent, just how she was ever going to be able to explain what his other mother was going through and why she turned to using one of the hardest drugs that were readily available in the outside world.

That was a conversation she was definitely not looking forward to having. It had been hard enough for her to find Emma the way she had the other day, but for a child to learn that his mother was using drugs, was a junkie so to speak, she couldn't imagine how that would even feel like.

It was a cloudy, dreary day, but the sun poked out from behind the dark grey clouds as she pulled up in front of the convent. A handful of fairies were walking around the grounds and a few of them nodded at her in acknowledgement as she climbed up the stairs to the front door. She rang the buzzer and took a step back, nervously wringing her hands in front of her as the door opened a few minutes later.

"Regina," Blue said with a tight smile. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"Can we speak privately?"

"Yes, of course," Blue said as she motioned for Regina to walk inside. "My office is—"

"I remember where it is," Regina snapped and she inhaled sharply as Blue walked past her and led the way up a short flight of stairs and into her small, cluttered office. "I suppose you are wondering why I am here."

"Yes," Blue nodded as she took a seat on the blue sofa and motioned for Regina to do the same. "There aren't any new threats in town, are there? It would be such a pity seeing how it has been so quiet here as of late."

"I'm here because of Emma," Regina said quietly. "I need you to promise me that what I am about to tell you does not leave this room."

"Of course, Regina, you have my word."

Regina took a seat on the far end of the sofa and crossed one leg over the other. She didn't want to tell the Blue Fairy too much, just what she needed to know, but where would she even start and how much was too much or how little wasn't enough?

"You said you are here because of Emma?" Blue asked. "Is there something wrong?"

"Yes," Regina nodded tersely. She pulled out the list of herbs she'd written down, the ones she'd need to make a special tea of sorts to help alleviate Emma's symptoms when she started the withdrawal stage. "I need to acquire what is on this list."

Blue took the paper from her and murmured softly under her breath as she read over each of the seven herbs that Regina had written down. "Regina, these are very rare and very powerful ingredients for a—"

"I know what they're for. Do you have them or not, Blue?"

"I do, yes," she nodded and folded the list in half. "May I ask why? You said you are here because of Emma, but why do you need these ingredients, Regina? Is Emma all right?"

"She's not, but I'm hoping she will be sooner rather than later."

"I see."

Regina shook her head. "It has come to my attention recently that Emma has been acting strangely and showing odd behavior. I found out why that is a few days ago. She's using drugs, Blue."

"Magical or…"

"No. Not magical, though I'm sure she believes they are," Regina muttered under her breath. "Only David and myself know."

"You think this potion will help cure her of her…affliction?"

"Yes. Will it?"

"It won't cure her," Blue said and she stood up from the sofa and walked over to the tall bookshelf. With a flick of her wrist she brought down a scroll that sat on the top shelf. "Our magic is different in this world, as are our potions. There is no guarantee that this will work at all for what you are hoping for it to do. Our magic, our potions, they can be powerful and they are, or they were in our own realm. This is a very specific recipe and one that is much more powerful."

"Are the effects the same?"

"Yes," the fairy nodded and she handed the scroll to Regina. "Come with me, please."

Regina followed her out of her small, cluttered office and down a long hallway. Blue whispered a few words under her breath, unlocking the door in front of her and pushed it open. Inside the room was a stockpile of magical objects and ingredients and Regina lingered in the doorway while she watched the Blue Fairy walk over to a chest on the other side of the room. She pulled out seven vials and took a deep breath as she walked back over to Regina.

"This is everything that you will need," she said quietly as she placed the vials of herbs in her hands. "You have my word that no one will find out what is going on with Emma, but may I suggest that you tell her mother before she finds out another way?"

"I will tell Snow _when_ she needs to know. Thank you, Blue."

Regina sat in her car for the longest time in front of the convent. She placed the vials of herbs that the Blue Fairy had given her in her purse along with the scroll. She debated whether to go and pay a visit to Emma or to go to her vault to brew the potion. In the end, she decided the potion could wait and drove across town to Emma's house.

The street she lived on was usually quiet and that morning was no exception. Aside from the old man who lived across the street, she didn't see another soul. She parked behind Emma's car and sat there for a moment just staring up at the house.

Just as she had been doing since she found Emma on her bedroom floor with the needle in her arm, she tried to think of how she had gone so long without noticing that Emma had been slipping away right in front of their very eyes. She wondered if she had noticed before, could she have stopped Emma from getting so far down the path of darkness and her own ultimate self-destruction.

David had been right, she was Emma's best friend, and she out of anyone should've been there for her, she should've seen her slipping long before now. She left her purse in the car and got out, walking up the front walkway to the porch with her hands in her blazer pockets.

She could feel—almost _taste_ —Emma's magic that surrounded the house. It made her skin prickle and not in a good way, but she continued towards the front door and clenched her hands into fists inside her pockets.

Emma's magic had strengthened considerably over the years, more so when she had become the Dark One, and now was no exception. Even though she was putting drugs in her body, her magic was still as strong as ever.

Deciding to try her luck in hopes that Emma would answer the door, she knocked three times and waited. Her palms felt sweaty as she continued to wait, but something felt different than it had when she'd been there the day before. She licked over her lips and held out her hands towards the door, reciting the counter-spell quickly under her breath while channeling her magic through her entire body.

Her vision began to swarm, her hands shaking almost violently, until she felt the counter-spell effectively fall into place. She took a few deep breaths before waving a hand over the new deadbolt on the door and heard the soft click as it unlocked with ease.

Regina opened the door and walked into the house, shutting the door quietly behind her. She could faintly smell cigarette smoke lingering in the air and she climbed the stairs to the second floor. The smoke smelled thicker up there and she frowned as she headed towards Emma's bedroom.

"Emma?" Regina called out tentatively, but her room was empty. On the nightstand, a cigarette burned in the ashtray and Regina walked over to put it out. "Emma?"

She turned and walked out of the bedroom. The bathroom door was closed and she could hear, only just faintly, the sound of water running. The door wasn't locked and she pushed it open, her heart dropping as her eyes landed on Emma slumped over against the side of the tub.

"Emma?" Regina knelt down in front of her and she was in even worse shape than how she'd found her the day before. "Emma, open your eyes."

Emma whimpered quietly. Regina gently cupped Emma's face in her hands and noticed how cold her skin felt to the touch. She moved her fingers to the side of her neck and found her pulse was weak, barely even there at all.

Regina knew Emma didn't have much time, she could tell simply from how weak her magic felt to her. Emma didn't have the three minutes it would take for an ambulance to get to the house and Regina, remaining as calm as she could, managed to gather Emma into her arms and transported directly to the emergency room at the hospital.

Several nurses were shocked at their sudden appearance and Regina, not having the strength to hold Emma in her arms, fell to the floor and kept a hold on her. She looked up at the nurses and growled.

"She needs help," she yelled at them. "She's dying! Help her, damn you!"

Regina let go of Emma and struggled to stand up on her feet as she watched the nurses scramble to get her on a stretcher, several of them yelling out commands to the others that were rushing down to help.

Regina felt sick to her stomach as Emma was rushed away from the waiting room and Dr. Whale came running over to her. It took her a moment to realize he was saying her name and trying to get her attention.

"What happened to her, Regina?" Dr. Whale asked as he stepped in front of her and into her line of sight. "Regina? You need to tell me what happened to her."

"Drugs," she murmured softly. "She's been using drugs."

"Okay, what, do you know?" He asked quickly and she nodded. "What did she take? Regina? How long ago did she use? Did she inject it?" Regina just nodded. "What is she on, Regina? Tell me!"

Regina shook her head. "I don't know, not long. I found her like this in her bathroom. She's been using heroin." She said and when Dr. Whale ran off, she shakily made her way to sit down on a hard orange chair. "Oh Emma, you _idiot_."

It took her ten minutes to call David to tell him that Emma was in the hospital. She didn't have to say much else before David had told her he was on her way and ended the call. Regina's hands were shaking as she called Henry's cell phone, not wanting to be the one to tell him that his other mother was likely dying at that very moment, but knowing that she truly had no other choice. He needed to know the truth.

"Henry," Regina said when he answered it. "Where are you?"

"I'm still at home, Mom."

"You need to come to the hospital."

"Why? Did something happen to you?" He asked in a rush. "Did something happen to—"

"Emma," she said quietly. "Your mother is—you need to come down here right now. Call Ruby, ask her to drive you or ride your bike. Just get here as soon as you can, Henry."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"What's wrong with Ma?" Henry asked quietly. "Is she okay?"

"No, no she's not, Henry. Please, hurry up and find a way here. There is something that I need to tell you and I'd rather not tell you over the phone."

"Mom?" Henry asked and he sounded very much like the little boy he used to be and not the man he was becoming. "Is she—is she dying?"

"Henry, please, just get down here as soon as you can," Regina said tightly and she ended the call and wiped at the tears that began to fall.

Emma's personal living nightmare had become her family's, and Regina wanted nothing more than for it to all to end then and there. This was the final straw and if Emma survived this, she would stop at nothing to make sure she never went back and slipped into the depths of such darkness ever again.


	3. Chapter 3

Regina paced the small, private waiting room Dr. Whale had them relocate to after Mary Margaret had stormed into the emergency room in hysterics. It had been only just an hour since Regina had transported Emma to the hospital and they hadn't received any word from Dr. Whale on Emma's current status.

David had told Mary Margaret everything on the ride to the hospital. Henry had shown up shortly after they had arrived with Ruby Lucas. Regina had taken Henry aside to explain to him what was happening to his mother, what she was going through, and how she had found her barely alive in her own bathroom.

Henry was understandably upset, but he took it all in stride. He had questions, Regina knew that much, but he didn't ask them. She knew those questions would come after they found out Emma's fate, and Regina was worried that Emma might not even make it through the night.

"Where is she getting the drugs from?" Mary Margaret asked David quietly and Regina looked over at the two who were huddled together by the window. "Where is she getting them, David?"

"I don't know," he whispered. "From out of town, I imagine."

"Mom?" Henry said as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to go down the hall to get something out of the vending machine. Do you want me to grab you a coffee?"

"That would be lovely, Henry," she smiled and she reached for her purse, but sighed when she remembered she had left it in her car. "I—I don't have my purse."

"It's okay," Henry said. "I have some of my allowance money on me. Anyone else want anything?"

"A coffee," David said and her turned to his wife who just shook her head no. "Hey, let me come with you, Henry. We'll be right back, Snow."

Regina moved to sit down in one of the chairs, as far away from the other two women who remained seated and silent. Regina could feel the exhaustion of not having slept the night before start to take over. She stood up and started to pace the floor in a desperate attempt to stay alert and awake.

Another hour passed before Dr. Whale came into the room. He shut the door behind him to allow them privacy and he took a seat next to Mary Margaret and David. "I know everyone has questions and I have some answers, not a lot, but some. I just want you to know that we've managed to get her stabilized for the time being."

"Is she going to be all right?" Mary Margaret asked the question that was on the tip of everyone else's tongue. "Dr. Whale?"

"We'll know more tomorrow when she's awake. She's been given some medication to stabilize her blood pressure, regulate her breathing. She's also been given a light sedative to keep her asleep and to allow her body to begin to heal."

He inhaled deeply before standing up and placed his hands into the pocket of his white jacket. "She had a close call," he said after a moment. "If Regina hadn't brought her in when she did, she might not have made it."

"Can—can we see her?" David asked as he kept an arm around his wife.

"She's being moved upstairs to a private room at the moment, but yes, you'll be able to see her shortly. I'll send a nurse in to retrieve you when she is settled in her room."

There was a small sense of relief in the room after the doctor had left, but even Regina knew that relief would be short-lived until they knew for certain that Emma was going to pull through.

It wasn't until seven that evening that were they permitted to see Emma, almost four hours after Dr. Whale had come to speak with them about her. Regina hung back near the door as Emma's parents were the first to reach her bedside and then Henry. Ruby had long since headed home with promises to come back the next day to visit with Emma. Regina just looked over at the hospital bed and Emma, along with the various machines she was hooked up to.

Regina's stomach twisted and turned as she took a few tentative steps towards Emma's bed. She stood behind their son and reach out with both hands to place them on his tense shoulders.

"She looks really sick," Henry whispered.

"She is," Regina whispered back. "But she'll get better, Henry."

"Will she?"

"Yes," she nodded and she looked over at Mary Margaret. "She'll pull through," she said quietly, more so to herself than to Emma's grief-stricken mother. "She's strong. She is one of the strongest women I have ever met."

"Yet, she wasn't strong enough to keep from putting that filth into her body and nearly kill herself in the process," Mary Margaret said bitterly. "Why would she do something like this? That's what I am having a hard time trying to understand. Why didn't she come to one of us, talk to one of us about what she was going through?"

"It is likely she felt that none of us would understand," Regina said after a moment.

"You would've understood," she said as she looked right at her. "Of everyone in this family, it is you that would have understood her the most. Why didn't she come to you, Regina? You're her best friend."

"I don't know," she said, her voice trembling as a wave of emotion surged through her. Henry turned and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly for the longest time.

David pulled up a few chairs to the left side of the bed and encouraged his wife to take a seat before he motioned for Henry to sit with his grandmother. "Can I speak with you outside, Regina?" He asked and she just nodded, following him out into the quiet hallway. "I think you know that she won't be able to recover from this on her own."

"I know, yes, I was up most of the night doing research. She is going to go through withdrawal that can last up to ten days. It's going to be nothing short of hell for her to get through this without relapsing."

"I know. I—I did some research of my own," David said quietly. "The best place for her is going to be here in the hospital. Afterwards, I don't think it's such a great idea for her to be alone."

"What are you suggesting? Or rather," Regina sighed as she felt a nagging headache starting to form at the back of her neck, "What are you _asking_ , David?"

"Snow and I, we're not equipped to deal with something like this, and I realize that none of us are, but we have the baby and I have a feeling the last place Emma is going to want to be is at the loft or to have us at her home."

"You want me to take her in," Regina said evenly. "You want me to bring her into my home and make sure she gets well, that she gets sober."

"Would you?"

Regina nodded as she turned to look back in the small room. "I would do anything for her, David."

"I know you would. You love her."

"I do," she said, the admission an easy one because she did care for Emma, she loved her. "Snow doesn't want you to ask me to do this, does she?"

"It was her suggestion, actually. She knows the only one who can save Emma from herself is you, Regina."

"I'm not quite sure that I actually can, but I will certainly try. You know she is going to refuse any help at the moment," she said and she rubbed at the back of her neck and turned to look back at him. "When she wakes up, she is going to be furious."

"Furious because you saved her life?" David looked confused. "Why would she be furious over something like that, Regina?"

"Because I feel like there is a part of her that doesn't want to be saved. At least not right now and not with the state of mind she's been in for months. She has a lot of anger, mostly against herself, and it is going to take some time for her to let it go."

David was trying to understand just like she was. It was hard for him because this was his daughter that had driven herself to the brink of her own self-destruction. It was hard for Regina, seeing the woman who had become a friend, a part of her family, over the years in such a state.

David returned to the room and Regina felt rather constricted and closed in. She took a walk throughout the floor and found herself a quiet spot to sit down and think about what she was going to do next.

Her thoughts were muddled as her exhaustion came back in heavy waves. She walked back to the room, knowing she would have to find a way to stop Emma from leaving the moment she finally did wake up. She knew exactly what she needed, but she didn't want to leave to get it, and instead she spoke with Henry quietly about going to he vault to retrieve the leather cuff that she'd put back down there after sending Zelena off to Oz.

David ultimately took him, leaving her and Mary Margaret alone at Emma's bedside. Regina felt restless as she sat in the chair Henry had been sitting in before, and she found it hard, nearly impossible to keep her eyes open for much longer.

"You look tired," Mary Margaret said quietly. "You should sleep, Regina."

"I'm fine."

"Did you sleep at all last night?" She asked and Regina sighed as she let her eyes fall shut once again. "Take the cot," she said after a few minutes and Regina opened her eyes and looked at her incredulously. "I know that I won't be able to sleep at all tonight. Take the cot, Regina. Get some sleep. You look like you need it."

"I shouldn't," she murmured. "Perhaps I shouldn't stay tonight."

"No," Mary Margaret said as she reached out and placed a hand on Regina's arm. "You can stay. I want you to stay. I know Emma would too."

"I highly doubt she would," she replied. "She wasn't exactly thrilled to see me the other day."

"When you found her the first time?"

"No, before that, when I spoke with her in the morning, Friday morning."

"Gods, Regina," Mary Margaret sighed heavily. "How did we not notice that this was going on all this time?"

"It's not hard to see something when you don't pay attention," she said and she held up at hand before Mary Margaret could speak. "We are all at fault here. None of us noticed. Henry did, but only recently, and he didn't tell me right away either."

"We were so wrapped up in our own lives that we—"

"It happens and given time, Emma will realize that it wasn't intentional."

Mary Margaret turned her gaze on to Emma's still body on the bed and Regina did the same, watching her chest as it rose and fell in a steady yet slow pattern. Regina realized it was pointless in fighting off her exhaustion and she stood up from the chair and over to the small cot a nurse had brought in earlier. There was a small pillow, a blanket folded on top, and when she looked over at her former nemesis, it was the subtle smile and nod of her head that made Regina finally give in and lay down.

Sleep came easily, but it was light and she stirred whenever the beep of one of the machines sounded a little too close together. Around three in the morning, she opened her eyes and noticed that Henry was asleep on a second cot that had been brought in and David sat in the chair, snoring lightly. Mary Margaret hadn't moved from her own chair and Regina noticed that her son was fast asleep in her arms.

"Here," Regina said lowly, her voice laced with sleep as she got up from the cot. "Let me hold Neal for a little while and you get some sleep."

"I'm not tired."

"You will be tomorrow if you don't sleep," Regina replied and Mary Margaret slowly lifted her sleeping baby into Regina's waiting arms before she moved to take Regina's place on the cot. "Hello, little prince," she whispered to the sleeping baby that stirred as she sat down in Mary Margaret's chair. "Go back to sleep, now."

Regina sat there and watched Emma sleep until the morning nurse made her rounds. Mary Margaret and David took Neal down to the cafeteria and Regina stayed in the chair at Emma's bedside, alternating her attention between the blonde on the bed and their son still sound asleep on the cot.

"Mayor Mills, can I speak with you for a moment?" Dr. Whale asked as he stood in the doorway. She nodded and stood up, waking Henry up to tell him that she would be right back before following the doctor to his office on the other end of the floor.

"What did you want to talk about, Victor?" Regina sighed as he made his way over to his desk slowly.

"I spoke with the Charming's down in the cafeteria and they informed that you are going to be taking Emma in upon her release," he said and he shook his head and folded his arms over his chest. "You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into, have you?"

"I know it will not be easy," Regina said as she stared hard at the doctor. "None of us have ever faced anything quite like this before, but I feel confident that I can help her."

"Her withdrawal will be unpredictable just as her recovery will be," he continued. "We should be lucky she hasn't been addicted for any longer than she has been."

"Lucky?"

"It'll be easier for her to recover," he amended. "And to stay clean in the long term. The support she will need is substantial. I would suggest therapy."

"Anything else, Victor?"

"The next twenty-four hours we'll be putting her through a hard detox," he continued and Regina nodded. "She'll need to stay here until her symptoms are manageable. I can talk you through some of the things to be expected in the days after she is released, but at most it is going to be highly unpredictable."

"All right," Regina nodded. "Thank you."

"It's admirable what you are doing, Regina."

"Excuse me?"

"Offering to become her savior, ultimately," he smiled and it wasn't forced like most of his smiles were. "Things truly have changed, haven't they?"

"Indeed."

"You should go get some coffee," he said as he headed for the door. "I'm going to make my rounds and check on Emma in a short while. If there are any changes, I'll let you know."

"Anything else?" Regina asked him and she watched as he opened his mouth then quickly shut it and shook his head no.

[X]

Regina ran her fingers through her newly cut and much shorter hair as she stood in front of the vanity mirror. She had hardly spent any time at home, her time spent at the hospital or at the office. Mary Margaret had barely left Emma's bedside and when Regina had shown up after work yesterday afternoon, Emma was being restrained to the bed while screaming at her mother to leave.

Henry hadn't been there since the first morning after Emma had been admitted and after seeing the state that Emma was in, Regina knew it was best that he didn't see her like that at all. It had taken her a few hours to convince Mary Margaret not to return to the hospital for a few days, for Emma's sake.

"Henry, I'll be back in an hour," Regina said as she passed by his room and found him lying on his bed with his headphones on and reading a comic book. "Henry?"

"Sorry," Henry muttered quietly as he pulled on the ear buds out. "Are you going to the hospital?"

"I am, yes," Regina nodded and she sat down on the side of the bed. "Would you like me to stop and pick some dinner up on my way home?" She asked and he shrugged. "Or do you have plans to go out with your friends? Violet perhaps?"

"Mom."

"You know you can still go out with your friends and have fun even though your mother is in the hospital, Henry. You don't have to feel—"

"Guilty for wanting to have my own life, to have fun?" Henry rolled his eyes. ."She almost died, Mom."

"But she didn't, Henry, and I promise you that she is going to get better. It is just going to take some time before that happens," she sighed and Henry sat up to sit at her side. She hadn't told him that she was planning on bringing Emma to the house once she was released from the hospital, but now felt to be as good a time as any. "Henry, when your mother is released next week, she's not going home."

"Where is she going? Is she leaving town?"

"No," Regina said and she reached up to run a hand over Henry's head. "She's coming here for a little while."

"How long is a little while?"

"I'm not sure," she replied. "However long it takes for her to recover, I suppose. It isn't going to be easy, Henry. Not for her and not for any of us. You do understand that, don't you?"

"Well yeah, I understand that, Mom."

"Which is why I think it may be best that you stay with your grandparents for a week at your mother's house."

"Why?"

Regina ran her hand of the back of his head and sighed. "I'm afraid there may be things you don't need to see or hear," she admitted honestly. "It'll just be until she is settled in to a routine here, that's all."

"Will I get to see you guys at all when that happens?"

"Of course," Regina smiled. "We'll have dinner every night."

"What if it takes longer than a week, Mom? You know until I can come back home?"

"We'll deal with that when the time comes, all right?" Regina said and she leaned over to kiss him on the side of the head, smiling when he groaned. "You're getting too old for me to do that, aren't you?"

"Mom…"

"Would you like me to drive you anywhere?"

"I can ride my bike," Henry shrugged. "You didn't get it for me just to have it sit in the garage gathering dust, after all."

Regina laughed and leaned in to kiss the side of his head once more. "Don't stay out too late, Henry. If you change your mind about dinner, let me know."

"I will, Mom."

Regina smiled and stood up from the bed, stopping when Henry reached out for her. She sank into his strong embrace, loving the way he still hugged her like he did when he was much younger.

"I like your hair like this," he whispered into her ear. "It's more you."

"Thank you, Henry. I'll see you later. Have fun with your friends," she said as she backed out of their embrace. "Have fun with Violet."

"Mom…" Henry groaned, his cheeks turning pink as he rubbed at the back of his neck and cast his eyes down to the floor.

Regina stopped at her vault on the way to the hospital to finish brewing the magical herbal tea that she was hoping would help her more than the cocktail of drugs they had her on at the hospital. She had tried a few times, but the potion had proven to be a lot trickier than it looked on the scroll the Blue Fairy had given to her.

The worst of Emma's withdrawal had yet to come and Dr. Whale had warned her it could come at any time, any day. Her hands were shaking as she added the herbs to the bubbling beaker of her chemistry set and held her breath, watching as the clear liquid turned red, then black, purple, and then light blue before turning clear as the bubbles stopped suddenly.

That was new and hadn't happened before and she knew she was taking a chance at it having gone right, but if it didn't work, it would be harmless to Emma. She bottled it into a small vial with an eye dropper and placed it in the front pocket of her slacks before pouring the rest of the liquid into a larger vial she kept down there in her vault with the rest of her potions.

The drive to the hospital didn't take long and she parked in her usual spot not too far from the main entrance. The hospital wasn't busy around that time of day, the two hours between the visiting hours where the patients were fed dinner and the nurses on their breaks. Regina went straight up to the third floor where Emma had been moved that morning and she found her room with ease, lingering in the doorway as she looked in at Emma on the bed, her head turned towards the window and her wrists and ankles strapped to the bed.

"Was wondering when you were going to come around again," Emma muttered. "Well, are you coming in or what, Regina?"

"Do you want me to?"

"If I say no, you'll just come in anyway," Emma smirked and it was the first real smile Regina had seen from her in a very long time. "Where's Henry?"

"He had plans with his girlfriend and their friends," Regina replied. "Oh don't worry, Emma, I made sure to tease him about Violet as you always tend to do."

Emma laughed and turned to look back out the window. "Pretty sure they got me in the wrong part of the hospital, Regina."

"Is that so?"

"I'm strapped to the bed. Might as well just put me in one of those padded rooms down in the asylum and throw away the key."

Regina ignored her as she pulled up a chair to the side of the bed and took a seat. "How are you feeling today, Emma?"

"No better," she shrugged. "A little nauseous, but the drugs they got me on keep me from getting too sick. Dr. Whale was just here not too long ago. Told me they had to start weaning me off the meds."

"Yes, for the next phase of the detox," Regina nodded. "It'll be all right, Emma."

"Will it?"

"Yes," she said and she shifted in the chair and waited for Emma to look at her. "I know it is going to be hard, Emma, but you can pull through this."

"Can I?"

"Yes."

"What makes you so sure, huh?" Emma snapped. "What if I'm not strong enough, Regina?"

"But you are," Regina said and she leaned forward in the chair and patted Emma's hand that was closest to her. "Even if you don't believe that right now, I know that you are strong enough to get through this. You are not in this alone."

Emma tried to pull her hand away, but the restraints only allowed her so much movement. Regina pulled her hand back and pulled out the small vial from her pocket, palming it tightly.

"Have you had anything to drink?"

"Not for a few hours," Emma said with a shake of her head. "Would you? I mean, if you don't mind?" Emma asked as she motioned to the cup of water on the bedside table with a straw in it. "I'm feeling kind of parched here and it's not like I can do it myself."

"I have something that may help," Regina said quietly. "It's a potion, herbs, magical herbs that can help alleviate some of your symptoms."

"Oh?"

"I'm not positive it will work at all. Back home, it was used to treat those addicted to magical drugs of sorts. Kind of like what you've been using all these months."

"Does it work?"

"It may, but it also may not," Regina replied. "Magic here, along with our potions, is unpredictable at best. If you are willing to try, we'll have to wait until the other drugs are out of your system."

"Okay."

"You are willing?"

"Yes. I trust you, Regina. Even if it doesn't work, I—I know you had good intentions in trying to help me here."

"Emma—"

"Can I have some water now, Regina?" Emma asked and Regina just nodded, lifting the cup off the bedside table as she stood and held out the straw towards Emma's lips, helping her to grasp a hold of it to take a sip. "Thanks."

When a nurse came in to give Emma a small doze of painkillers to help her sleep, Regina left her, pocketing the vial and headed straight to Dr. Whale's office. She knocked twice before he answered the door, wearing his street clothes and his now blonde hair looking more disheveled than normal.

"What can I do for you, Regina?" He asked tiredly as he slammed his briefcase shut and kept his back to her as he reached for the coffee mug on the edge of his desk.

"How long until she is off all the meds, doctor?"

"Two days at least," he replied. "Why?"

"I have something that may help her better than the medication you have been administering," Regina said and even though she couldn't see his face, she knew he just rolled her eyes at her. "Is it possible to wean her off the meds sooner?"

"I do hope you realize that they are what are keeping her comfortable right now, Regina. She was quite sick this afternoon when we tried to go a half an hour longer without the meds that are keeping her from vomiting. Her body isn't ready to succumb to the symptoms of her withdrawal at the moment. It has only been three days."

It had only been three days. Regina sighed and shook her head. It felt far longer than three days since she found Emma barely alive in her bathroom. Regina pulled the vial out of he pocket and held it in her palm.

"This is why I want to know how soon she can be off the medication," Regina said and Dr. Whale just looked at her curiously. "It's a potion, to alleviate her symptoms, to curb her cravings."

"I see."

"I just wanted to try something."

"Something familiar like magic and potions," Dr. Whale said and he put his mug down on the desk. "I know you want to help, Regina, but we're doing what we can here for Emma. You need to trust that the medication is helping whether it seems like it or not. Two days and she should be off all meds aside from some mild sleeping pills. She has a long way to go with her recovery, the detox and making it through the worst of her withdrawal is just the start."

Regina nodded and when Whale extended a hand, she reluctantly passed the vial to him. He looked at it curiously before walking around to the other side of his desk and placed it in a drawer.

"How is it administered?" He asked. "Orally?"

"Yes. Normally mixed into tea, perhaps water would be fine. Just a few drops every couple of hours should suffice."

"I'll speak with the nurses tending to her care about starting this in two days. Anything else that I need to know about it?"

"No, that is all."

"If you don't mind, I was just on my way out," he said and he grabbed his briefcase.

"Of course," Regina said and she followed him out of his office.

Regina headed back to Emma's room despite the fact that she was sleeping soundly. She sat at her bedside for a little while, watching her sleep. Her skin was still too pale, her body too frail, and her hair was in desperate need of being washed and properly brushed. Despite her current state, Regina still thought she was as beautiful as the first night Emma showed up on her doorstep four years ago.

She frowned at that thought because it was not something that normally crossed her mind, especially not when it came to Emma Swan. She didn't move from the chair, but she turned her head away from the blonde on the bed and stared out the window, willing away any and all thoughts that dared come forth in her mind.

Regina left only when the same nurse as before came in to check Emma's vitals and informed Regina she'd likely be asleep for hours until the medication wore off. She didn't go home, not wanting to be alone in her house at the moment, and instead she headed to the diner and took a seat at the counter.

"Coffee?" Ruby asked and Regina nodded, sighing as Ruby placed a mug in front of her and grabbed the coffee carafe off the burner. "How is Emma doing?"

"Better than she was the other day," Regina replied. "I suppose Snow told you what happened?"

"Yeah," Ruby said with a nod and she placed another mug down on the counter and poured a cup of coffee for herself before she walked around to the other side and sat on the stool next to Regina. "It's probably not a good idea for me to pop in for a visit, is it?"

"Maybe not for a few days," Regina replied. "But I am sure she would like to have you come visit soon, Ruby."

"Yeah?"

Regina nodded and managed a small smile. She found it a bit awkward to have a conversation with Ruby Lucas because they weren't friends, not even close to being friends. Neutral acquaintances at best. Regina reached for the creamer and poured it into her mug, passing it over to Ruby before she reached for a spoon.

"Henry was here earlier, you just missed him actually," Ruby said and Regina turned to look at her. "He was with his friends," she said. "And Violet."

"Yes, he's normally with Violet when he goes out with his friends."

"They're cute together, aren't they?" Ruby smiled. "I'm just surprised."

"About what?"

"That you're okay with him dating," Ruby said with a shrug.

"He is fourteen," Regina said. "He's old enough to be dating if he so wishes to. Violet, she's not just some girl he likes."

"I know. Emma told me they're soul mates."

Regina stared down into her coffee, feeling a heaviness settle into her chest. While she didn't think of _him_ anymore, she did think of the fact that she no longer had her soul mate in her life. There was just an empty void inside her soul, one she truly believed would never be filled again, but she had a little string of hope that one day it may just feel a little less empty, she just wasn't sure how that would happen.

Granny yelled out for Ruby from the kitchen and Ruby just frowned, taking a quick sip of her coffee before she headed back into the kitchen, returning a minute later with a few plates of food for the couple at the table by the window. Regina finished her coffee as quickly as she could, leaving a few bills on the counter before she left.

The house was quiet and empty when she got home and she headed upstairs to the guest room that would become Emma's room while she stayed there during her recovery. It was rather plain compared to the rest of the house and the only furniture that was in there was a double bed, one nightstand and lamp, and a small dresser. She walked over to the window and pulled back the heavy curtains before opening up the window to let in some fresh air.

The room felt cold, barren, and not inviting at all. She frowned as she turned to look around the room and the bare white walls. With a small twirl of her fingers, the color of the wall turned into a soft, creamy yellow. With another twirl of her fingers, the bland white comforter became a shade darker than the color of the walls. Emma liked yellow. She remembered that panicked conversation in Emma's death trap on wheels when they were racing away from the Chernabog.

Regina shut the window and left the drapes open before heading downstairs to make something quick for dinner. She was about to sit down at the counter to eat the garden salad she'd fixed up when the sound of Henry and his friends laughter flowed through the house as they came barreling in through the front door.

"Hey," Henry smiled as he walked into the kitchen. "Is it okay that my friends are here?"

"Of course, Henry. You know that your friends are always welcome here."

"We're just going to play some video games in the den. Can we make some popcorn?"

"Of course," she smiled at him. "You know where we keep it. Just make sure you—"

"Don't make a mess," Henry finished, nodding as he walked to the cupboard and found the bags of popcorn on one of the shelves. "If we make a mess, I'll clean it up."

"There is a full bottle of soda in the refrigerator if you and your friends are thirsty," Regina said and she stabbed a slice of tomato with her fork. "Just limit it to one glass each."

"Yeah? Awesome, Mom. Thanks!" Henry laughed and he popped the bag of popcorn in the microwave and hit a few buttons. "How is Emma doing?"

"Better than yesterday. I didn't get to visit with her for very long."

"Because of all the meds they have her on, right?" Henry asked and she nodded. "How much longer is she going to be in the hospital for, Mom?"

"About a week, dear. It's hard to say right now. Not even Dr. Whale is sure how long she'll need to be there," she replied and Henry frowned. "She'll be all right, Henry."

"I know. I'm just worried about her, that's all."

"I know you are, I am worried about her too. We all are."

"We're going to make everything better," Henry said and he reached out to steal a slice of cucumber off of Regina's place. "We're going to make things better for her."

"Yes," Regina said. "We are, it's just going to take time."

"And a whole lot of love, right?"

Regina chuckled. "Yes and a whole lot of love. You should get back to your friends. I'll bring the popcorn out when it's ready."

Regina dropped the fork on to her plate, her appetite gone as she listened to the sound of the popcorn popping in the microwave. The laughter started up again from the den and Regina got up to grab a bowl and took the popcorn out of the microwave.

She was lost in thought and thinking about what Henry had just said. He wasn't wrong when he said that Emma needed love to get back to a better place than the one she was currently in. Regina had never denied that she cared for Emma, that she loved her as a friend, but even just thinking of that made that void in her soul feel a little less—and it absolutely terrified her.

It terrified her because she knew the love she had for Emma ran far deeper than friendship. It terrified her because she wasn't supposed to feel this way about Emma Swan at all. It terrified her because every time she tried to convince herself she was wrong about what she was feeling, she knew deep in her heart that she was right. And it terrified her because when she let herself truly feel the things that Emma made her feel, it felt better than anything she had ever felt before in her entire life.


	4. Chapter 4

Regina nervously paced the floor in Dr. Whale's office while she waited for him to return from the urgent call he'd received just minutes after she had arrived. Emma was being released and it had been twelve days since Regina had found her barely alive. Twelve long days of detox, of suffering through the withdrawal symptoms before the potion Regina had made up finally started to work and it worked a lot better than the medication she'd been on for those first five days.

Henry had already packed a bag and a few of his things and was at Emma's house with Mary Margaret, David and Neal. She had promised to keep them updated on how Emma was doing, especially over the next twenty-four hours after she had been released from the hospital.

"Sorry about that," Dr. Whale said as he entered the office and approached his desk. "I have Emma's release papers here. She's already signed them, I just need you to sign here at the bottom before she's released into your care."

"All right," Regina nodded and she picked up the pen on the desk and signed her name on the bottom of the form.

"Do you have any questions or concerns?"

"No. We've gone over everything twice. I can handle this, Victor."

"Have you arranged for her to talk to Dr. Hopper?"

"Yes, I spoke with him this morning. He is going to come to the house for sessions if Emma isn't willing to go to him."

"She is going to be very miserable for a few days, though I imagine she'll be a little less miserable than she's been for the last couple of days," he said with a soft chuckle. "You can call me any time if things become too difficult or if she begins to experience any more symptoms your little concoction can't alleviate. I have a prescription for a low-dosage sleeping pill to help her sleep. If you find its not working, call me and we'll up the dosage a little bit."

Regina took the prescription and folded it neatly as she walked out of his office and across the floor to Emma's room. Emma was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in a pair of black yoga pants and a plain white t-shirt. Regina smiled a little when Emma turned to look at her.

"Can I go now?" Emma asked quietly as she scratched at her wrist just above the leather cuff. "I really can't wait to get out of here."

"Yes, we can go now," Regina said and Emma stood up slowly from the bed. "Your father brought some of your things over to the house earlier. We can stop at Granny's if you're hungry."

"I just want to get out of here, Regina."

Regina led the way out of the room and to the elevator, glancing back every couple of steps to make sure that Emma was following her. Regina jabbed the button a few times before the doors opened and they stepped inside. Emma pulled at the hospital bracelet and groaned in annoyance when she couldn't pull it off. Regina had made a promise to herself not to use magic around Emma, especially since Emma was incapable while she had the cuff on. She wanted to make the transition from the hospital to her home as smoothly as possible for Emma.

"We'll cut it off in the car," Regina said as she placed a hand on Emma's shoulders.

"Okay."

"Are you sure you don't want to stop at Granny's?" Regina asked her.

"I'm sure."

Regina nodded and led the way once the elevator reached the lobby. Unlike upstairs, Emma walked at her side instead of behind her and she said not a word as they got into Regina's car together and she started to pull at the bracelet again, frowning when Regina reached out to stop her.

"I have a pair of scissors in my purse," she said quietly and motioned for Emma to grab her purse that was on the floor by her feet.

She left Emma to find them for herself as she turned the key in the ignition. The drive to the house was quiet and Emma just sat in the passenger seat with her head against the window and her eyes closed. When they arrived at the house, Regina got out of the car and headed up to the front door, waiting until Emma finally joined her a few minutes later.

"How long do I have to stay here?"

"A few weeks," Regina replied quietly. "Are you okay with that?"

"Don't have much else of a choice, do I?"

"I am not forcing you to stay here."

"I know that, Regina."

Regina led the way into the kitchen with Emma following close behind. She pulled out the fresh loaf of bread and the cheese from the refrigerator, busying herself with making Emma a grilled cheese sandwich and one for herself.

"I guess there are going to be rules I have to follow, right?" Emma asked as she leaned against the island and crossed her arms over her chest. "Regina?"

"A few, yes, but they're more conditions than rules," she said quietly. "One, there is no smoking while you are here," she said and she sighed when Emma rolled her eyes. "Two, you are not to drink any alcohol while you are here."

"Right. Triggers. Got it. Anything else?"

"As I said, I am not forcing you to stay here, but I would like for you to want to be here. I know what you're going through right now is hard, but you don't have to do this alone. Dr. Hopper will be by every day for a session. I want you to at least try."

"Therapy. Part of the recovery process. Got it."

"Emma—"

"I'm sorry, Regina," she blurted out. "I'm just…tired. I don't mean to be snippy with you."

"It's all right," Regina smiled and she turned her attention to the stove, flipping each sandwich over with ease. "Henry is staying with your parents at your house for a week, but he'll be around for dinner every night. He's been worried about you. I know you're miserable and tired, but can you at least try to push that aside while he is here?"

"Of course, Regina. God, he probably thinks I'm an idiot for shooting myself up and becoming a junkie, doesn't he?"

"I doubt it," Regina replied. "You're his mother. He loves you. He's just worried about you, Emma. He wants you to be better again. We all do. None of us think any less of you. You need to understand that."

"You should," Emma muttered under her breath. "I was completely messed up. I pushed everyone away. I—I was such an asshole to everyone, especially to you. I—I don't deserve any of this, Regina."

"Any of what?"

"You. Your help. You taking me in and—"

"We're friends," Regina cut her off. "Friends are there for one another even in the darkest of times. I want to help you, Emma."

"For Henry, right?"

"Not just for Henry. I care about you," Regina said and she felt entirely vulnerable admitting it to Emma verbally. "I—we almost lost you. I don't think I could bear to lose you, Emma."

"Because of Henry."

"No," Regina sighed and she grabbed two plates, putting a sandwich on each before she took the pan off the burner and turned it off. "Is it so hard to believe that I care about you, Emma? That I want to help you get better? That we are—"

"Friends," Emma finished for her. "Regina, I know you care about me and I know that we're friends. I just spent the last six months in a dark place, alone. Why did you come that day?"

"What day?"

"Why didn't you just stay away?" Emma whispered tearfully. "Why couldn't you have just left me there to die, Regina?"

Regina heart fell at the sadness in Emma's voice and in the words she whispered. She placed both of the plates on the island countertop before pulling Emma in for a tight hug, one that Emma resisted weakly.

"Let me go," Emma muttered and Regina shook her head no, holding on a little tighter. "Please, Regina. Let me go."

"No," she whispered into her ear. "I won't."

Regina had no idea that Emma had wanted to die and there were so many questions she wanted to ask, but she knew now was not the time to ask them. She wondered if that was why Emma had started using in the first place, because she wanted to her life to be over. Regina knew that Emma's descent into the darkness had been more than just not wanting to feel all the things she felt, to have the nightmares that she'd been having, but she had no idea that Emma had gone down that road, one that she too was familiar with.

That was a whole different kind of darkness and it wasn't easy to come back from having those thoughts. Regina wanted to tell Emma that she loved her and that she would do anything to help her learn to love herself again.

Emma's tears began to fall the moment she wrapped her arms around Regina and hugged her back just as tightly. Regina rubbed a hand over Emma's back, closing her eyes as they held on to one another.

"I'm sorry," Emma whispered. "I'm so sorry, Regina."

"Shh," she murmured. "Just let it out."

When Emma pulled back, Regina let her and she exhaled slowly, watching as Emma wiped at the tears that continued to fall. Regina just nudged one of the plates towards her with a small smile.

"Eat, before it gets too cold."

"Regina, I—"

"Emma, you don't need to say anything more. Just eat," Regina said and she picked up her own sandwich and took a bite.

Emma picked up her sandwich and looked at it for a second before taking a tentative bite. Regina knew that Emma had hardly been eating, her appetite almost non-existent, but she also knew that Emma never turned down a grilled cheese sandwich. After Emma had a few bites, she placed the half-eaten sandwich on the plate before she ran out of the kitchen with her hand over her mouth.

Regina sighed and put the kettle on to make Emma some herbal tea to help settle her stomach. While the symptoms had mostly subsided, they came and went without warning and Dr. Whale had warned her to expect that. After she made a cup of tea and put a few drops of the potion in it, she carried the mug upstairs and knocked tentatively on the bathroom door.

"Emma?" Regina asked and she heard a small grunt. She opened the door slowly and frowned at the sight of Emma slumped on the floor beside the toilet. "I made you some tea. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No," Emma whimpered quietly. "It was really good. The sandwich. I just—I couldn't keep it down."

"I know," Regina said as she placed the mug on the vanity. "It's all right. I was hoping some comfort food might settle easier."

"I was hoping for that too."

"You'll be staying in the room just across the hall," Regina said as she moved to linger in the doorway. "Your things are already in there for you."

"Thanks."

"Drink the tea and go lay down for a while. I am going to run down to the pharmacy and get your prescription filled."

She shut the door just as Emma started to heave and she swallowed past the lump rising in her throat as she headed down the stairs. The first few days were going to be the hardest, that she knew, but she had a feeling she wasn't prepared for the emotional side that would come with it.

[X]

By the end of the weekend, Emma had managed to eat mostly just chicken broth and a handful of saltine crackers. The first day she'd slept throughout the afternoon and most of the night, thanks to the prescription that Regina had picked up for her. The second day didn't go as smoothly. Emma refused to speak with Dr. Hopper as they sat in the study and Regina had to resist the urge to march in there and demand that Emma cooperate. Emma was miserable for the rest of that day and barely spoke at all when Henry came around for dinner.

Regina had woken up that morning feeling drained, but she showered, dressed, and headed downstairs to put the coffee on. She was surprised when she walked into the kitchen to find Emma perched on the stool at the island, sipping on a cup of the herbal tea and flipping through the Storybrooke Mirror.

"Good morning," Regina smiled, but Emma didn't look over at her.

"Morning."

"How are you feeling today? Better? Worse? The same?"

"Same."

Regina sighed and busied herself with getting the pot of coffee on. Emma was still in her pajamas, a pair of plaid pants and a loose fitting t-shirt and it was clear she hadn't had a shower as her hair was piled messily into a loose bun. One of Regina's pet peeves was wandering around the house in pajamas and it was something of an unspoken rule with Henry, one that she had been reluctant to mention to Emma. She just grit her jaw and waited for the coffee to finish brewing, deciding to let it slide as much as she could for the time being.

They hadn't talked much since the first day Emma had come to the house, but that conversation had been very revealing and Regina sensed that Emma built up her walls immediately after. A part of her wished that Emma hadn't put those walls up, that Emma would just _talk_ to her, but with everything else, that would come in time.

"You cut your hair," Emma said quietly and Regina turned to look at her. "When did you do that?"

"Last week," Regina replied as she reached up to touch her much shorter hair. "I felt like a change."

"I like it," Emma said before she picked up her mug and sipped her tea. "Sorry I never noticed it before."

"It's all right, Emma, thank you," she smiled and grabbed a clean mug out of the cupboard and poured a cup of coffee. "Do you think you feel up to getting out of the house today?"

"Out? And go where?"

"A walk," Regina replied. "I was thinking getting out and getting some fresh air might be good for you. Henry and I usually go for a walk on Sunday's," she added. "Just down to the park. Do you think you're up for a stroll through the park, Emma?"

"Is Henry going to be there?"

"No, it'll be just the two of us."

"Oh."

Regina walked over to the refrigerator, taking Emma's response as a "no". She grabbed the carton of milk, added just a splash to her coffee before placing it back on the shelf. She took her coffee with her out onto the back patio just off the kitchen and sat down at the small iron table.

She enjoyed the warm summer mornings when there wasn't a slight chill in the air that came off the water. She enjoyed the quiet sitting in the backyard in the mornings. She missed Henry being home as he would sometimes join her out there, reading his comics or bringing out a bowl of cereal. She missed having him home completely, but she was hoping he would be able to come home by the end of the week, given there were no incidents with Emma between now and then.

Regina jumped when she heard a crash inside and she ran in the back door, thinking of the worst, but Emma just stood by the sink staring blankly at her hands, the mug on the floor in pieces.

"It—it just slipped," Emma murmured and Regina grabbed the dishtowel to try to clean up the shattered porcelain pieces. "I didn't mean to."

"Emma, it's all right. It was an accident."

"You're not mad?"

"Over a mug?" Regina asked, raising an eyebrow as she tossed the broken pieces into the trashcan under the sink. "Of course not. Why would I be mad? I heard a crash and I thought something happened to you. I'm just relieved that you are all right."

Emma blushed, showing the first bit of color on her ghastly pale skin in weeks. Regina finished cleaning up the broken pieces, thankful that Emma had finished her tea before it had slipped out of her hands.

"If you think you can stomach a cup of coffee, why don't you join me out back?" Regina said as she tossed the dishtowel on top of the counter. "It is a beautiful morning and the fresh air will—"

"Do me good," Emma finished for her as she stared down at her shaking hands. "When is Dr. Hopper coming today?"

"Not until the afternoon."

"Oh."

Regina didn't wait for Emma to answer her. She just headed back outside to sit down at the table on the patio to drink her coffee. After a few minutes passed, she hid her smile behind her mug as she heard the back door open with a soft click. Emma was empty-handed as she sat down at the small table across from Regina.

"Coffee is probably a bad idea," Emma said quietly. "I can't seem to stop shaking."

"It'll pass," Regina said. "You did put the potion in your tea, didn't you?"

"No," Emma shook her head. "I can't rely on it all the time, Regina. It's going to become a crutch and I need to try and get through this on my own sometimes." Emma lifted her feet up on to the edge of the chair and hugged her knees close to her chest. "If I can't do this on my own, how am I ever going to get through recovering from this?"

Regina sipped her coffee, understanding where Emma was coming from, but knowing that if she tried to go without the potion completely, her withdrawal symptoms could get a lot worse than they had been so far. She didn't say a word, however, not wanting to coddle Emma and scare her off, something that both Dr. Whale and Archie had warned her could happen, especially in the crucial first couple of days.

Emma picked at her nails as they sat in silence together. Regina found it almost comforting even if the birds that were chirping in the tree nearby were driving her to the point on conjuring up a couple of fireballs to scare them off—or incinerate them, she hadn't decided yet.

In the end, after Regina made herself some breakfast and a grocery list, Emma joined her for a short walk in the park and a trip to the store. She helped her unload the groceries from her car, but only watched as Regina put everything away. By the time that Dr. Hopper showed up that afternoon for their session, a storm had rolled in and the wind picked up as the rain poured from the sky. Thunder crashed every couple of minutes and it made Regina feel uneasy.

"Regina?" Archie asked tentatively as he walked into the kitchen. "Can we talk?"

"Of course. Would you like a cup of tea?"

"I'm fine, I really should be headed home soon, it looks as if the storm is getting worse."

"What would you like to talk about?"

"Emma," he said quietly. "We've made a little process this afternoon. I cannot tell you what we spoke about, but your name came up a couple of times. Whatever you are doing, it is working."

"But I'm hardly doing anything at all."

"Regina," he said and he offered her a small smile. "You may feel as if you are hardly doing anything, but you are. What she needs, more than anything is to feel like someone is genuinely there for her. Every day is going to be a challenge. She needs to know that someone, _you_ , are not going to give up on her when she takes a step or two backwards."

Regina understood what he meant and she just nodded. "One day at a time," she said quietly. "Thank you, Archie. What time can we expect you tomorrow?"

"That is another thing that I wanted to talk to you about," he said. "It's a matter of finding the right time to speak with her. I am going to try the afternoon again tomorrow, say around three?"

"All right."

"If you can, talk to her, not about what she's going through, but about anything else."

"I have been trying."

"I know," he smiled. "It's admirable what you're doing for her, Regina, truly. I will see you tomorrow."

"Have a good day, Archie, and thank you again," Regina said and she walked him to the front door, jumping a little as a loud crack of thunder rattled the house. "Drive safe."

Regina watched him make a run towards the little brown car that was parked in front of the house. She shut the front door and locked it before she headed back towards the kitchen, pausing at the open door of the study when she saw Emma sitting on the sofa and staring down at the glass of water that sat on the coffee table in front of her.

"Hey," Emma said as she looked up at her.

"Hi," Regina smiled, lingering in the doorway.

"Some storm out there, huh?" Emma asked and Regina just nodded as the lights flickered as thunder rattled the house. "You know, when I was a kid, I used to get so scared during storms," she said and Regina slowly made her way into the study and opted on sitting on the other sofa in front of her. "Had to teach myself not to be scared because there was never anyone there for me."

"And now?" Regina asked. "Are you still scared?"

"Sometimes," she admitted softly. "It's stupid, isn't it? It's just a storm."

"It's not stupid, Emma."

"I mean I know I'm safe here and that the storm will pass," she sighed and she picked up the glass of water and took a small sip. "What are you scared of, Regina?"

Regina chuckled quietly and leaned back against the sofa. "Many things, some things I'm sure you'd be surprised to hear," she replied. "I was scared of storms too when I was a child. So was Henry."

"Oh?"

"Henry used to crawl into bed with me if a storm came in the middle of the night," she continued. "I was never allowed in my parents' room, nor was I ever allowed to crawl into their bed if I was scared throughout the night."

"How did Henry stop being so scared?"

"I would sing to him or tell him stories until the storm passed."

"And how did _you_ stop being so scared?"

Regina folded her hands in her lap. "It took a long time," she said, not lifting her eyes. "It wasn't until after I was forced to marry the king that I stopped being so scared of the storms that would pass, storms that make this one look like nothing in comparison."

"I used to hide," Emma whispered. "Under a bed, in a closet, sometimes in a bathtub."

"We all have our ways of dealing with our fears in our own way. What is it that made you stop being so scared, Emma?"

She wasn't pushing, at least she didn't think she was. They were just having a conversation, one that Emma had initiated. Emma just shifted awkwardly on the couch and she saw the way that Emma trembled when another crack of thunder rattled the house and the lights flickered before shutting off completely.

"When I was in Tallahassee, there was this hurricane that came through shortly after I moved down there. I wasn't alone," Emma said after a few long minutes of silence. "I met someone the day after I moved into this shitty apartment. I had next to nothing, just a cheap mattress in the bedroom and this futon in the living room that had this weird smell to it. Anyway, one thing led to another and we spent almost the whole day curled up in bed, hiding away under the sheets."

Regina watched her as she scratched awkwardly at her arm just above the cuff, but she didn't say anything, just gave Emma a moment to collect her thoughts. Emma shook her head and took another small sip of her water.

"That's one way of getting through a hurricane," she muttered. "Sex."

"Were you in a relationship with him?"

"Who said it was a guy?" Emma countered and Regina lifted an eyebrow in surprise and Emma chuckled softly. "You do know you can have sex with someone without being in a relationship, don't you?"

"Of course. I shouldn't have assumed."

"You sound surprised."

"That you have had sex with someone you haven't been in a relationship with?" Regina asked. "Do you think I am that naïve?"

"Not that. That it was a woman," Emma clarified.

Regina was a little surprised, not because Emma had admitted to being with another woman sexually, but because Emma had told her. Regina was quiet as she stared at the other woman, watching as she fidgeted and took another sip of her water. The lights flickered back on and she heard Emma breath out a sigh of relief.

"Is Henry still coming for dinner tonight?" She asked, changing the subject completely.

"Yes, he should be here within an hour," Regina replied as she glanced at her watch on her wrist. "Hopefully by then the storm will have died down. Do you think you can stomach some pasta tonight?"

"Are you going to make lasagna?"

"Just spaghetti," Regina replied. "Light on the sauce."

"I—I can try," Emma shrugged. "I am hungry."

"Would you like to help me make the sauce?"

"From scratch?"

"Yes," Regina smiled at the confused look on Emma's face. "From scratch. Do you think I feed our son sauce that comes out of a can?"

"Of course you don't," Emma chuckled.

"Come, we should get it started."

"Now?"

"Yes, it'll take about an hour to prepare and cook. It'll pass the time before Henry comes home."

That afternoon was just the start to what would become a part of their every day routine. Every afternoon throughout the week they would prepare dinner together, sometimes with Henry's help if he came home right after school instead of showing up just shortly before dinner was ready. Emma's appetite and her ability to keep most foods down grew exceptionally by the end of the week and while she was not back to her normal eating habits, it was still a change.

It wasn't just making dinner together that had changed throughout that first week. The talk they'd had during the storm sparked many other small moments of random conversation between them, each one lasting longer and becoming easier than the last. Emma was making progress with Archie, her sessions lasting just over an hour, sometimes almost two. Most times Emma would retreat up to the guest bedroom afterwards, drained from the session and she wouldn't emerge until the hour before dinnertime to help Regina prepare their meal.

At the end of the first week, Regina allowed Henry to come back home for the weekend, promising him that if all went well and Emma continued to do as good as she'd been doing throughout the week, that they would talk about him staying home permanently. She had missed him dearly, but she was also grateful that he understood why it might not be best for him to be there, especially when Emma got into one of her moods.

That Saturday afternoon, while Emma was napping after her session with Dr. Hopper, Regina was in the kitchen preparing a mix for the cookies Henry had asked her to bake. He sat at the island, stealing a swipe of the dough as Regina rolled them into small balls and placed them on the cookie sheet.

"She's doing a lot better, isn't she?" Henry asked.

"Yes, she is," Regina nodded. "She still has a very long way to go in her recovery, Henry. We need to take it one day at a time."

"I know, Mom, it's just," he sighed and he swiped another bit of dough from the bowl and licked his finger clean. "It's good what you're doing for her. You really do care about her, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Henry."

"Do you—do you love her?"

The question, something that once would've caught her off-guard, just caused her to look over at her teenage son with a smile. "Of course I do, Henry."

"Is that why you're helping her? Because you're in love with her?"

"Henry," Regina sighed as she reached for the dishtowel and wiped her hands. "I never said that I am in love with her. You can love someone unconditionally without being _in_ love with them. And I am helping her because that is what friends— _family_ —does for one another in times of need."

Henry gave her a thoughtful look before he reached to steal yet another swipe of dough. Regina slapped his hand away and shook her head. "We are, aren't we? A family," Henry said quietly. "We've been a family for a while now, haven't we?"

"Yes we are a family, dear, now stop stealing the dough or there aren't going to be as many cookies," Regina smiled at her son. "Are you going to help?"

"Can I make an extra big one?" Henry asked and his cheeks went red.

"For Violet?" Regina asked, careful not to use her teasing tone.

"Mom…"

"It was just a question," Regina said with an innocent smile. "And yes, you can make an extra big one."

Regina watched over him as he made a ball twice the size as the others she'd rolled and she turned when she heard Emma walk into the kitchen. The first thing that Regina noticed was how drained Emma looked and the fact that she had changed into her pajama's and hadn't bothered to get dressed after her nap. The second thing she noticed was the odd look on Emma's face as their eyes met for a brief second.

"You guys are making cookies?"

"Hey Ma," Henry smiled over at her and Emma walked over to give him a lazy one-armed hug before she reached out to take some dough from the bowl the same way he did. "Careful or Mom will hit you with the dishtowel if you take too much."

"Is that right?" Emma asked with a playful glint in her eyes as she moved to take another swipe of the dough and Regina grabbed a hold of the dishtowel, ready to snap. Emma inched her hand towards the nearly empty bowl, pulling back right as Regina was about to snap the towel at her hand.

"You're a wuss, Ma!" Henry laughed and he squirmed off the stool as Emma started to tickle him relentlessly. "Ma, stop!"

"You say stop and I hear "tickle war". I'll give you a five second head start."

"Ma…"

"One," Emma started counting and Henry took off just as she skipped right ahead to five.

Regina shook her head and put the cookie sheet in the oven, setting the timer before she started to clean up the mess to the sounds of Henry and Emma laughing as Emma chased in throughout the house. Hearing Emma laugh like that warmed Regina's heart. Emma needed that sliver of happiness in her life, even if it didn't last for very long.

If there was one thing she had noticed in the last week was that Emma was definitely happier when Henry was around and it was the only time she ever really laughed and it never sounded forced or fake. She tried not to think about how she wanted to be the one to make Emma laugh like that too, like she used to be able to and sometimes with just a look. She only hoped it wouldn't be much longer before they went back to their normal banter, but hoping for it to happen too soon was a far-fetched wish and one she knew wouldn't happen overnight.

[X]

It was after dinner when Regina found Emma sitting on the back patio and sipping from a cup of hot herbal tea with a far-away look in her eyes. Regina sat down in the chair across the table from Emma and placed her own cup of tea down on the table.

"Sorry I didn't help you clean up," Emma said quietly.

"It's all right, Henry helped."

"Did he leave?"

Regina shook her head. "I thought it'd be nice if he stayed tonight. He misses being home. I think he's just craving some time away from his grandparents and the baby."

Emma leaned back in her chair and looked up at the slowly darkening sky. "I heard you two talking earlier," she said. "About why you're doing this for me."

"Emma, I've already told you why. Henry is just trying to understand—"

"Did you mean it?" Emma asked as she kept her eyes turned up to the sky. "Did you mean it when you said that we are a family?"

"Of course I meant it, Emma, and it is true. We are a family."

"Are we?"

"Yes," Regina said softly. "We're raising Henry together."

"And the other thing you said?"

"Hmm?" Regina asked, but she knew exactly what Emma was referring to. "Yes, I meant that too, Emma."

Emma looked over at her then, a small smile curling over her lips as they held one another's gaze. "I do too," she whispered. "You're my best friend, Regina."

Regina smiled over at her, her heart racing as Emma smiled a little wider. They weren't open with their feelings, but this was as much as they would reveal to one another. Regina knew that Emma cared for her, loved her even, that much had been proven when she had saved her from the darkness killing her that night so many months ago. Anyone else could've stepped up with the dagger, but it had been Emma that made that sacrifice without thinking twice.

It was that and so many other little things, their way of showing their true feelings to one another. They were the type not to openly voice their feelings, desires, and it was one way they were so much alike in many ways.

Despite having shared a moment, a heartfelt one at that, Regina had this nagging feeling that this was all the calm before the storm that was slowly yet inevitably approaching. All that was left was to wait for the other shoe to drop, and she just held on to hope that it wouldn't end up being near as bad as she feared.

Emma had already done so well and had come so far in just a week. She would hate to see her take a giant step—or leap—backwards after all the progress that she had been making thus far. It had been far too easy some days to forget what Emma had just gone through, to forget that she was battling an almost impossible fight, an addiction to a drug that was impossible to get away from once it sunk its dirty teeth in you.

Regina had learned enough during some sleepless hours at night she spent researching online, reading recovery stories from other people that had been in Emma's place before, most of them recalling the first time they had gotten clean, it was harder to stay clean for very long at all. Some made it a few weeks, some a few months, even a few had made it past the year mark before giving into the inevitable urge to seek out the feeling only that drug could give them.

She just had to help Emma to realize just how strong she truly was over time, that she was strong enough to fight this, to move on with her life and find something else—love even—that could give her that euphoric rush she'd been clinging to for months on an end. And she knew she would go to great lengths, but what she didn't know was how far was too far, how much was too much. All she could do was take everything in stride.


	5. Chapter 5

Their routine continued throughout the next week, each day bleeding into the next without any issues arising. Emma started helping her prepare breakfast each morning, mostly for Henry since he could eat more than his weight in food most days. Emma would head back to bed after Henry went to school and Regina would retreat into her study to try and work from home. She checked in on Emma periodically until Emma woke up shortly around noon.

There had been other small changes in the house and with their current situation. Regina barely noticed it at first, the changes in the closeness in their relationship. It was the odd touch here and there, some subtle, some lingering, some Regina didn't notice until the warmth of Emma's hand was gone. If Emma wasn't sleeping or in the middle of a session with Dr. Hopper, Emma was right there with Regina whether she was working the study or curled up in the sitting room reading a book, Emma was always right there.

By the end of the second week, their routine included movies after dinner in the den with Henry and after he'd gone to bed, they'd stay up to talk, sometimes about nothing at all, sometimes Emma would talk about something she and Dr. Hopper had talked about during their therapy session that day, and sometimes Emma would tell Regina about some of the dreams she'd been having, but not the nightmares Regina knew still plagued her every night.

She heard her cries, her whimpers, she even heard her pace in the guest bedroom for an hour or two before talking herself to go back to sleep. Every time that happened, Regina wanted to slip out of bed and go to her, but despite the changes in their relationship, she felt that was overstepping her bounds.

Until that Friday night when Henry had gone to Nicholas' house for a night of video games, too much junk food, and a sleepover. They had been watching a movie, something Emma picked that was on cable, and Regina didn't realize she'd fallen asleep until she woke up hours later with Emma's head resting on her shoulder and a hand high on her thigh.

Regina sat there for almost ten minutes before she placed a hand over Emma's and gently rubbed over her skin. "Emma?"

"Hmm?"

"Perhaps we should head up to bed," Regina said quietly as she continued to lightly caress her hand over Emma's forearm. "Emma?"

"Hmm?"

Regina stifled a small laugh and shook her head. Emma's body was warm against her side and the feel of Emma's hand that was unmoving on her thigh caused her heart to race a little quicker. She licked over her dry lips when Emma didn't wake up and she tried again, whispering her name until she felt Emma lift her head from her shoulder.

"Oh shit," Emma murmured. "I totally fell asleep on you. Sorry."

"It's quite all right. I fell asleep as well. That movie you picked was positively boring. What was it called?"

"I can't remember. All I know is I'm pretty sure you fell asleep before I did."

"Emma?"

"Hmm?"

Regina glanced down at Emma's hand still on her thigh and Emma followed her gaze. It took a few lingering seconds before Emma pulled her hand back not as quickly as Regina expected her to upon the realization of where her hand was. Emma got up from the couch and stretched as Regina reached for the remote to turn the television off, her eyes lingering over Emma's body.

She blamed the way they had woken up to the surge of arousal now coursing through her body along with their newfound closeness over the past week. Regina cleared her throat, forcing her eyes to look away from Emma as she rose from the couch and straightened out her blouse.

Neither said a word as they made their way to the stairs, both shutting off different lights on their way up to bed. Emma slipped into her room after she mumbled a quiet good night and Regina found her heart racing even quicker than before the moment she crossed the threshold into her room and shut the door behind her.

Regina wasn't sure what was happening, but they'd been spending an awful lot of time together for two weeks, more so than they'd ever spent in all the years they'd known one another. There were the lingering touches and the gazes that were not one sided at all. For Regina it was both exhilarating and terrifying. It was normally long before that point when anyone got too close to her that she pushed them away, but this was Emma and this was an entirely different situation all together.

Deciding to try and take her mind off of everything, and despite the fact that she was tired, Regina stripped out of her clothes and pulled on a robe before making her way out to the bathroom just down the hall. She ran the water in the big, deep soaking tub and with a flick of her wrist, she conjured up a glass of red wine.

After adding some vanilla scented bubble bath, Regina dimmed the lights and lit a few candles along the edge of the tub. She slipped out of her robe and climbed into the hot water, sighing as she settled back and let the warmth of the bubbly water wrap around her tense body. She sipped her wine, feeling a slight pang of guilt for being able to enjoy something as simple as a glass of wine when Emma couldn't have anything in fear it would trigger her cravings for her drug of choice.

A nice hot bubble bath with a glass of wine or two was one of Regina's guilty pleasures in life and one she rarely engaged in unless she truly needed that level of relaxation. She took a few large sips of her wine before placing the glass on the edge of the tub and shifted until she found the right angle and closed her eyes.

It was unlike her to fantasize about someone she couldn't have, just as it was unlike her to fantasize about Emma, but with their newfound closeness, it was almost impossible for her not to. Every time Emma touched or caressed her, even just for a few lingering seconds, she had felt a buzz course through her body in a way she had never felt from another's touch before.

She had denied the way it felt whenever Emma had touched her in the past, and those moments had been far and few in between. She reached for her glass of wine and took a sip with her eyes closed as she felt a headache forming at the base of her neck. It was easy to slip back into denial, at least it used to be, and Regina was finding it hard to keep her mind from filling with thoughts of Emma.

She stayed in the tub for close to an hour before she drained the water and wrapped her robe around her while she blew out the candles and magicked the wine glass down to the kitchen sink. Her body felt relaxed aside from the headache at the back of her neck and she was more than ready to sink into her bed and give in to the pull of sleep.

The headache never went away by the morning and Regina found herself in a miserable mood as she pulled out a pair of yoga pants and a plain grey t-shirt. She didn't bother putting on any makeup, just ran a brush through her hair before heading downstairs to put the coffee on. She hadn't slept well, but her body was accustomed to surviving throughout a day with even just a few hours of sleep.

Once she had her coffee in one of her favorite mugs, she headed to her study to check her work emails and to work on some paperwork, hoping to busy her mind enough to keep it preoccupied and away from thoughts of Emma Swan.

She couldn't escape her, thoughts of her or being around her. She was growing frustrated and was beginning to second guess her intention of helping the usually infuriating woman. She couldn't even focus on her work as thoughts of Emma seeped back into her mind and she rubbed at the back of her neck with a grimace.

"Hey," Emma said as she appeared in the doorway, wearing just her pajamas as she did most mornings. "Do you want to come sit out back with me? It's a beautiful day."

"Not right now, Swan."

Emma frowned as she walked into the study. "Something wrong, Regina?"

"No," she said lowly. "I'm trying to get some work done."

"Oh. Sorry."

Regina rubbed at the back of her neck as she cast her eyes back to her laptop screen. After a few minutes, she noticed that Emma had left and she could hear her in the kitchen as she turned the radio on in there. With a low grumble, Regina swished her hand towards the door, causing it to slam hard and loud.

She worked for an hour before Henry came home. He was miserable, grumbling an incoherent reply when Regina asked him how his night over at Nicholas' went. His mood was a sure sign that he hadn't gotten near enough sleep and she sent him off to bed before heading into the kitchen to get something small to eat.

There was no sign of Emma, not in the kitchen or the back patio, no sign aside from the empty mug left in the sink and the jar of herbal tea left opened by the stove. She put the jar back in the cupboard where it belonged and she opened the refrigerator door as she rubbed over the back of her neck with her left hand. She shut the door and as easy as it would be to conjure up some aspirin, she walked over to a small, narrow cabinet where she kept some basic medication and pulled out the bottle.

"Damn it," she muttered when she found it to be empty. She angrily tossed the empty bottle into the garbage under the sink and slammed the door.

"You all right, Regina?" Emma asked, startling her as she spun around to face the infuriating woman. "Damn, forget I even asked."

"Emma," Regina sighed. "I don't—I have a headache and I'm miserable."

"A headache?" Emma asked curiously. "Is that why you practically bit my head off earlier?"

"I apologize," she replied. "There is no more aspirin."

"Where does it hurt?" Emma asked. "Your headache? Where is it?"

"In the back of my neck."

"Tension," Emma said with a nod and pointed to the stool at the island counter. "Sit. I'll take care of that for you."

"Excuse me?"

Emma wiggled her fingers. "I'm good with my hands, Regina, and one of the things I'm good at is giving neck massages. Sit," she said as she pointed to the stool again. "I promise my hands aren't cold or anything."

A tiny voice in Regina's head screamed at her that it was a bad idea. Emma's hands on her, innocently or not, was the reason she had hardly slept the night before and the reason she couldn't get her mind off of the woman.

"When I was twenty-two, I worked in a massage parlor," Emma muttered. "I was good at it too especially since I was trained by the woman who owned the place."

"A massage parlor, really?"

"Not like one of those, it wasn't a rub'n'tug kind of place," Emma said with a roll of her eyes. "If you don't want me to, just say so, Regina. I mean, why can't you just magic the headache away?"

"Magic doesn't work that way, dear."

"But there is healing magic."

"Yes, but a headache isn't something to be healed. Unfortunately."

"If you want, I can run down to the pharmacy and get you some aspirin or something," Emma said and she cast her eyes down to the floor. "If a massage from me is really that awful for you."

"Emma, I—oh fine. Work your magic," Regina huffed and she sat down on the stool a second later against her better judgment. She sat stiffly with her hands curled into fists in her lap and she held her breath as Emma's hands tentatively came to rest on her shoulders.

"Relax," Emma said softly. "Regina."

"What?"

"You need to relax. You're tense."

"Of course I am tense. I have a headache since I woke up this morning," she snapped and her shoulders sagged when she felt Emma's hands move away. "I'm sorry, Emma. I'm just—"

"Miserable. Right. I know what that feels like all too well," Emma muttered. "Seriously, if you want me to just run down to the pharmacy for you, I can."

"Emma—"

"Are you acting like this because I fell asleep on you last night during the movie?" Emma continued and Regina turned on the stool to look at her. "I honestly didn't mean to fall asleep on you. I just remember dozing off and then you woke me up."

"Emma—"

"Is it because of where my hand was too?" Emma asked as her cheeks flushed pink and she looked away from Regina. "I swear I didn't—"

"Will you shut up?" Regina snapped. "I am acting like this because I've barely slept last night and this headache is making me miserable. It has nothing to do with you falling asleep on me last night or where your hand was. Now, are you going to give me that massage you were talking me into or not?"

"Are you going to try and relax?" Emma asked and Regina turned to face forward and took a few deep breaths. "I wanted to do something for you after everything that you've done for me," Emma said after a moment and her hands came to rest on Regina's shoulders. "I know this is nothing compared to what you've done for me, but it's a start, right?"

Regina didn't say a word as she closed her eyes and focused on the feel of Emma's hands kneading her shoulders gently. When Emma's hands moved to the back of her neck, she let out a soft sigh at the feel of her gentle kneading fingers.

"Your muscles are really tight," Emma said quietly. "I'm going to use a little more pressure. Let me know if it's too much or if it hurts, okay?"

"Okay."

Regina kept her eyes closed as Emma increased the pressure of her fingers, gliding them along her neck and to the base of her skull where her headache resided. Every time Emma's fingers slipped through her hair, Regina had to bite back a moan that nearly escaped past her lips. Emma hadn't been lying; she _was_ good with her hands. Every couple of minutes that passed, Regina could feel the tension in her neck and shoulders start to loosen up, little by little, and her headache slowly started to fade.

"Does it feel okay?"

"It feels good," Regina said, her voice husky and low. She could hear Emma's breath hitch slightly, but her hands didn't stop for a single second. "Harder," she murmured. "You can do it a little harder if you'd like."

"You do realize how dirty that sounds, don't you?"

"Emma!" Regina gasped as she turned to look at her with a slightly amused look on her face. "How in the hell did that sound dirty?"

"Never mind," Emma said, tongue in cheek. "Turn back around, Regina."

It took Regina almost five full minutes to realize what Emma had meant and she felt her whole body flush in arousal and she had to clench her fists tight from reacting visibly. The last thing she wanted was for Emma to know that she had that kind of effect on her. With their close living arrangements as of late, it would only serve to make things awkward in the house, awkward on a level she was certain even their son would pick up on in no time.

Regina relaxed a little more once the headache was gone and the muscles in her neck and shoulders didn't feel near as tight. Emma's hands lessened the pressure around that time and before Regina realized it, Emma was simply just touching her and running her fingers through Regina's hair lightly. By then, Regina was acutely aware that her nipples had hardened and she smoothed her hands over the front of her shirt before moving to slide off the stool and away from the soft touch of Emma's skilled hands.

"Thank you," she said with a soft, sincere smile. "You really do know what you're doing."

"You're welcome," Emma smiled in return. "Any time you need me, you know where to find me. I know I don't have to," she said before Regina could say a word. "But I don't mind. I enjoy giving massages and you needed it. Next time you start to get one of those headaches again, let me know before it gets as bad as it was earlier."

"All right," Regina nodded. "Thank you, again, Emma."

Emma smiled and Regina noticed her eyes had roamed down to her breasts. She cleared her throat and moved towards the refrigerator, putting her back to Emma to try to hide her breasts from Emma's wandering eyes. Yet, her breath quickened because she had noticed that Emma's eyes had an appreciate gaze in those few seconds. There was no plausible way that Emma returned some of those lustful thoughts and feelings that she was feeling herself lately.

It wasn't getting any easier to convince herself that she was the only one feeling the way she had been, since even before she took Emma in to help her throughout her recovery. Regina gripped the handle on the refrigerator door and tried to take a few deep breaths without it being too obvious she was trying to remain cool, calm, and collected.

"Are you hungry?" Regina asked, gripping on to the handle a little tighter. "Emma?"

"Hmm?" Emma asked and Regina turned to find her leaning on her elbows against the island, Emma's eyes on her. "Sure. I could eat."

"There is some leftovers from last night," Regina said as she turned to scan the contents of the refrigerator. "Or I could make you some grilled cheese if you prefer?"

"I think you already know the answer to that."

Regina couldn't help but laugh as she grabbed the block of fresh cheese. Together, like other meals, they prepared the grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. They moved fluidly around the kitchen and the domesticity wasn't lost on Regina in the slightest. It should've scared her, but she found it comforting. They worked well in a lot of ways, even when it came to preparing a simple meal.

Henry surfaced just after they'd sat down at the island side by side to eat their sandwiches and he grumbled a hello to both of them before grabbing his plate and trudged over to the small kitchen table by the back door to eat.

When Dr. Hopper came around in the afternoon for Emma's daily session, Regina had already selected a book from her study with plans to sit out back on the patio and read while Henry played video games in the den. She was taken by surprise when Emma asked her to sit in on the session.

"I'm not sure that is a good idea," Regina said quietly. "This is about you, Emma."

"I feel she will benefit if you join us today," Archie said. "It is entirely up to you."

Regina exhaled slowly as she stared at Emma standing awkwardly in the study's doorway. "Benefit how, exactly?" Regina asked.

"You're aiding her in her recovery," Archie replied. "I feel you will understand some of the things she is going through a little better if you joined us today."

"I suppose I could," Regina said after a moment and Archie smiled encouragingly at her and waited for her to follow Emma into the study. "Are you sure this is all right?"

"Yes," Emma nodded. "It was my idea, actually."

"You know you can talk to me without Dr. Hopper present," she said quietly. "We can always talk later if you'd like?"

"Regina…" Emma frowned as she trailed off. "It's not that easy to talk to you sometimes about some of the things that are in my head."

Dr. Hopper motioned for Regina to sit on the same sofa beside Emma and he took a seat on the other, pulling out a notepad from his briefcase and a pen from one of the pockets on the side. He cleared his throat before flipping through a few pages.

"How are you, Emma?"

"Fine," Emma replied. "Better than yesterday."

"Better overall or just better than yesterday?" He asked and Regina tried to settle on the couch comfortably, but she felt entirely out of place. When Emma didn't answer him, he scribbled onto the paper quickly. "And how did you sleep last night?"

"Better."

"Any nightmares?" He asked and she shook her head no. "Do you want to discuss what you did dream of?"

"Not right now," Emma murmured quietly. "It's kind of something I don't want to tell anyone. It's nothing bad, it's just…personal."

Regina raised an eyebrow when she caught sight of Dr. Hopper writing "dreams of sexual nature" on his pad of paper before he placed a hand over the sentence. It made Regina wonder just whom she was having said dreams of, but she knew it wasn't her place to ask, especially not in front of Dr. Hopper.

"Regina, I'm sure you're wondering why you've been asked to sit in on the session today. Emma expressed some concerns the other day that I would like to discuss with you and her," he continued after a few minutes of heavy, tense silence. "I hear things are going well with you two during this difficult time."

"Yes, things are going quite well," Regina nodded and she turned to look at Emma. "We have settled into a routine of sorts. She's finally learning how to cook some decent and mostly edible meals."

"Hey!" Emma chuckled as she poked at Regina's shoulder. "I can cook."

"Yes, _now_ you can cook," Regina smirked and she cleared her throat as Dr. Hopper watched the two of them with mild amusement. "What are these concerns?"

"Emma?" Dr. Hopper said gently. "I think it's best if it comes from you."

"I don't know if I can."

"Try," he said with a small smile.

"I guess it might sound stupid, but sometimes I feel like you forget everything that I'm going through right now. Don't get me wrong, Regina, I do appreciate you taking me in, helping me in my recovery, but sometimes I feel like…"

"I am not attuned to your emotional duress," Regina finished for her. "I'm not sure what you mean, dear."

Emma frowned and idly scratched at her arm just below the hem of her white t-shirt. She looked at Dr. Hopper and frowned deeply when he motioned for her to continue. "I—I guess what I'm trying to say is that some days are easier and others aren't, but you don't always notice when I'm struggling. You act the same, talk to me the same."

"I ask you how you are doing," Regina supplied. "Isn't that enough?"

"No."

"What more do you need, Emma?"

"I need a friend. I need you. I need my best friend to see that I'm not okay even if I say I am."

"And what would you like for me to do after that?" Regina asked. "Do you want a hug? Would that help?" She asked, not meaning to sound so sarcastic, but it just came out that way. Emma frowned and turned away. "Emma, I'm sorry," she said as she reached out for Emma's hand. "Please talk to me. Tell me what it is you need me to do for you."

"Emma feels as if she has become a burden to you," Dr. Hopper continued when Emma didn't answer her. "She knows you don't feel that way or else you would've never opened up your home to her, but that doesn't stop her from feeling like she is just that. A burden. What she is going through as of late, her confidence levels are at an all-time low. She thinks very lowly of herself even when she knows she's doing better and that she is well on the road to a successful recovery."

"Emma, no," Regina frowned. "You are not a burden. Please don't feel that way."

"I can't help it."

"Emma," Regina tried again to reach for her hand and Emma allowed her to that time. "I am so very proud of you for fighting this, for getting this far in your recovery. You are the strongest woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and if anyone can get through all of this, it's you."

"I can't do it without you," she muttered quietly under her breath.

"Pardon?"

"I can't do this without you, Regina," Emma said a little louder and she pulled her hand away, a blush creeping over her cheeks as she turned her head to the side.

"Emma is afraid that you are going to pull away, that you are going to give up on her if her recovery takes a turn for the worse," Dr. Hopper said quietly.

"You're an idiot, Emma Swan," Regina said firmly. "If you haven't realized this by now, I am _not_ giving up on you, do you understand me?" Regina sighed and she reached out for Emma's hand once again, waiting for Emma to look at her before she continued. "In case you didn't believe me when I said it before, I'll say it again. I love you. You are a part of my family as much as I am a part of yours. Yes, it is because of Henry, but that is not the reason I care for you and he is not the reason why I took you in to help you during this most difficult time. You are not a burden. You are not weak. I am not leaving you to deal with this on your own. I am going to make sure you get through this no matter what it takes and if that means you have to continue to live here with Henry and I for a year or longer, then that is exactly what is going to happen."

Dr. Hopper was rendered speechless and Emma had tears in her eyes by the time Regina finished by clamping her jaw shut tightly to keep from saying anything more. Regina didn't expect Emma to surge towards her and envelope her into a tight hug and it took her a moment to get over her surprise before she wrapped her arms around Emma's lithe body.

Regina cast a sideways glare at Dr. Hopper who was watching them with the same look of mild amusement as he had earlier. She shook her head slightly and his expressions went stoic almost immediately. Regina rubbed a hand over Emma's back and pulled out of her tight embrace.

"I would like you to feel that you can talk to me about anything, Emma. Anything."

"Thank you."

Regina took her leave, not surprised when Dr. Hopper followed her out of the study and closed the door behind him. Regina took a few deep breaths as her emotions swirled around like a firestorm inside of her.

"She needed to hear that, Regina," he said quietly. "Emma has family in her life, people who care for her, but the only validation she needs is from you. Your support is what is going to help her in the long run."

"Dr. Hopper," Regina started, but her voice cracked and she had to swallow hard past the lump that formed in her throat. "Archie," she tried again. "If there is any other way I can keep Emma from thinking that way, will you let me know?"

"I think you'll figure it out when you're ready."

"Excuse me?"

"Regina, I saw something in there between you two, but I don't think you've gotten there quite yet. If you don't mind, I'm going to return to the session. I have a feeling it'll be a little longer today than usual after what just transpired."

Regina nodded and watched him return to the study. She got a brief glimpse of Emma before he shut the door again and she turned on her heels, walking away with the lump in her throat growing larger by the second.

She spent the next two hours that Emma was in the study with Dr. Hopper pacing in her bedroom and thinking about what had transpired between the two of them and what Dr. Hopper had said to her afterwards.

He had been right, she wasn't ready to see what was there between her and Emma, to admit that it was turning into something _more_. The more she paced, the more she thought, and the more she saw that they had been on that path for far longer than she initially realized. It scared her and thrilled her all at once, but it dawned on her that even if she fully embraced what they were becoming, it was not a good time to act upon her feelings, not when Emma was so emotionally and physically unstable.

Regina exited her room when she heard the footfalls in the hallway and she smiled at Emma when she saw her heading for the guest room. Emma barely managed to return the smile and Regina noticed only then that her eyes were puffy and red from crying.

"Are you all right?" Regina asked quietly and Emma shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm just—I'm going to lay down for a little while."

Regina bit her bottom lip as Emma reached for the doorknob almost sluggishly. Before she realized what she was doing, she was walking towards Emma and she wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tight. Emma held on even tighter and her body shook as the tears started to fall. Regina could feel Emma's hands balling the back of her shirt into tight fists, but still she held on.

"It's all right," she whispered into Emma's ear. "Let it out."

"I hate this."

"I know."

"I _hate_ feeling like this, Regina."

"I know," she repeated. "Just let it out, Emma."

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess," Emma murmured and Regina could feel her hot breath against her neck and her body reacted with a small surge of arousal. "I'm sorry I'm not better for you."

"Emma," she sighed as she leaned back and reached up to cup Emma's face with her left hand. "You are getting better. You're doing so much better now. You—"

"That's not what I meant."

Regina frowned as the realization dawned on her just what Emma had meant. She was telling her that she was not good enough for her. Regina shook her head and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss to Emma's forehead.

"You are," she whispered as she pulled back slowly. "Never think you aren't, Emma. Gods, do you know what you mean to me? Do you know how much I care for you? Do you know what I fear the most?" Upon Emma's small shake of her head, Regina sighed and stroked a thumb over Emma's cheek. "I fear a life without you in it. We have been through so much over the years that I can't imagine what my life would've been like without you."

"Even though you hated me at first?"

"Yes, even though I hated you at first, but even then I didn't _hate_ you, Emma. I feared you more than anything."

"Because of Henry."

"Yes," Regina nodded. "But it's different now. Everything is the way it should be."

"Almost," Emma whispered. "Almost."

It should've surprised her when their lips met for the first time, but surprise was the last thing she felt in that very moment. It wasn't full of passion or with desperate need; it was just a single, soft and lingering kiss that spoke volumes to them both. Regina wasn't even sure who had initiated the kiss, whether it was Emma or herself, but as they parted, she knew it had been both of them, a kiss met halfway. Emma smiled shyly as they stepped out of the embrace at the same time and Regina returned the smile, her lips almost buzzing from the soft kiss.

"Almost," Regina said in a soft whisper.

Emma exhaled sharply and nodded her head before she turned to walk into her room without another word. It was only when Emma's door shut softly that Regina lifted her fingers to touch her lips and gasped.

"Mom?" Henry called out tentatively. "Everything all right?"

"Yes, dear," Regina said, a flood of relief filling her all at once that their son hadn't caught them in the middle of their first kiss. "Emma just went to lie down for a little while."

"Is she okay?"

"She's tired from her session," Regina replied as she walked towards him. "She'll be okay. She just needs to rest."

"Okay," Henry nodded. "Mom? Is it okay if I go out with my friends tonight?"

"Of course. Just be home by ten."

"Mom, I'm fourteen!"

"Ten o'clock is your curfew, Henry," Regina said firmly and he grumbled under his breath as he stormed off down the hall to his room.

Regina headed for the stairs, but stopped when she heard a door open behind her and then Emma's voice calling out her name softly. She turned to look back at Emma and saw the shy, almost embarrassed look on Emma's face.

"What is it?" Regina asked, concern filling her voice as she made her way back over to stand in front of Emma's door. "Emma?"

"This might be a really stupid question," Emma muttered as she stared down at the floor.

"It may not be."

"Can you come lay with me?" Emma asked in a rush. "I kind of don't want to be alone right now, but I also need to have a quick nap."

"You want me to lay with you while you sleep?"

"I told you it was a really stupid question. Forget I asked," Emma said and she turned quickly, but Regina reached out to grab her elbow to stop her from walking away.

Regina wanted to ask her why she was asking, but she already knew why. Therapy was emotionally draining for Emma, and she'd had a double session that afternoon, the first one since she'd started seeing Dr. Hopper on a daily basis. Then there were the nightmares Regina knew she had at times, likely the same nightmares she'd been using drugs to get rid of, and Emma was reaching for another way to cope.

"It's not a stupid question," Regina said gently. "I'll lay with you while you sleep."

"Yeah?"

Regina smiled as she let go of Emma's elbow and walked into her room. After seeing the left side of the bed unmade, she pulled back the covers on the right and laid down. It took Emma a moment before she shut the door and made her way over to the bed. She shuffled awkwardly before moving to lay down on the left side, barely an inch of space between their bodies on the small, but comfortable double-sized bed.

It should've felt awkward just laying there in bed beside Emma, but it didn't and Regina turned her head to look over at the woman laying next to her. The blinds and drapes were shut, but there was just enough light in the dim room to make out the features of Emma's profile. Watched watched her until Emma was breathing deep and slow, her eyes closed and her hands clasped over her stomach.

Regina wasn't sure when she too had dozed off, but when she woke a few hours later, the bed beside her was empty and the house far too quiet. There was a certain emptiness she felt, something she hadn't felt since she cast the second curse to escape the one Pan had cast on Storybrooke. She bolted out of bed, rushed down the hall to Henry's room only to find it empty, and remembered he had asked to go out with his friends that night.

After a quick but extensive search of the house and the backyard, a sense of dread filled her because Emma was nowhere to be found. She checked the kitchen to make sure there wasn't a note in case Emma had decided to step out to take a walk, but there was nothing. Dread turned to panic as she rushed back up the stairs and into Emma's room. She flipped on the light and cursed under her breath for not having noticed the open and empty dresser drawers and the open door to the empty closet.

Regina tried to remain calm as she got her bearings. She had only been asleep for a little over two hours. Henry likely had left to meet up with his friends after she had spoken with him. It meant that Emma had, for whatever reason unknown to Regina, left and had at least a two hour head start, give or take.

Her hands were shaking as she made her way down to the study where she'd left her cell phone and she picked it up, a hard lump forming in her throat as she scrolled through her contacts. A minute later, she held the phone to her ear as the line began to ring, the sound echoing in her ears.

"Hello?"

"David," she said, her voice cracking as she stared at the water ring on her coffee table left there by Emma the other week when she'd forgotten to use a coaster. "I—I—Emma is missing."

"Missing?" David asked and Regina could hear the baby in the background crying. "What do you mean Emma is missing?"

"Have you seen her?"

"No. No, we haven't seen her since she was in the hospital. You know that."

Regina pinched at the bridge of her nose before she walked over to where her purse was sitting on her desk. "I'm going to go look for her," she said quickly. "And David? I think it's best at the moment if you don't tell Snow."

"What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to stay put. I'll find her," she said, though the hope of finding Emma that very night was slim. "I'll find her and I'll bring her home."


	6. Chapter 6

It was close to midnight when Regina found herself at the only other exit out of town, the road that lead the way south to Portland, to Boston, to New York City. Regina stood at the town line, knowing Emma could be on her way to anywhere but there, and she bent down to pick up the folded piece of lined paper and the leather cuff that sat on top of it.

The words "I am sorry" was written on the middle of the folded paper. Those words angered Regina to no end and she nearly tore the lined paper apart before balling it up and threw it across the fading spray paint on the pavement that marked the town line.

The outside world made her fear too much, as it was a world she was so unfamiliar with. But Emma was out there and she needed to find her and bring her home. Regina knew that Emma could be anywhere and she knew the longer she waited, the harder it would be to find her quickly.

She used magic to return home within seconds, not surprised in the least to find not only her son but also the Charming's in her kitchen. She was bombarded with questions the instant she had appeared and she cursed under her breath for not transporting directly to her bedroom to pack her bags and change her clothes.

"Where is she?" Mary Margaret asked tearfully. "Regina?"

"I don't know where she is," Regina replied. "Henry, you're going to stay with your grandparents until I get back and no," she said before he could speak. "I do not know how long I will be gone, but I am not coming back without her."

"But Mom—"

"This is not up for discussion, Henry," she snapped and she headed out of the kitchen quickly. She was partially relieved when Henry or either of the Charming's didn't follow her upstairs.

She packed a suitcase of clothes and some of her toiletries. She headed back downstairs and said goodbye to Henry and without saying a word to either of the Charming's, she transported herself back to her car that was still idling at the town line.

She threw her suitcase into the trunk and got in the car, but she hesitated in shifting the gear into drive because she knew that she couldn't return without the Snow Queen's scroll that Emma undoubtedly had in her possession. If she was wrong and Emma didn't have it, there would be no way for either of them to return home to Storybrooke. It was a risk she needed to take and as scared as she was, she knew she had no other choice. The longer she waited, the further away Emma would get, and it'd be that much harder to try and find her.

With a deep breath, she slid the car into drive and eased her foot on to the gas. She could feel her magic disappear as she crossed over the line and the feeling left her agitated and incredibly vulnerable.

Regina tried to keep her mind off of everything and focused on the road as she drove south towards Portland. The road was deserted for most of the drive and after an hour she drove past a small diner and gas station. A few miles down the road, Regina spotted a small motel and pulled in, parking by the office. She sat in her car and scrolled through the pictures on her phone before finding one of Emma and Henry from almost a year ago.

Regina ran a finger over the screen, her heart racing as she stared at Emma in the picture. She looked happy, she was smiling, a smile that was radiant and reached her eyes. She had seen that same smile just a few times in the last couple of weeks and she longed to see it again.

The bell over the door dinged as she walked in and the man behind the front desk barely looked away from the television that sat on the corner of the desk. She cleared her throat twice before the man turned to look at her.

"Can I help you?" He asked gruffly. "You need a room?"

"No, I'm looking for someone," she replied. She held out her phone for him to see the picture on the screen. "I'm looking for this woman."

"Pretty thing," he said as he scratched at his beer belly. "Haven't seen her."

"She's driving a yellow Volkswagen Beetle," Regina said as she pocketed her phone. "Is there any chance you may have seen one drive by at all tonight?"

"Not many cars come down this road, ma'am," he replied and he reached out to turn the volume on the television down. "Could count on one hand how many have driven past in the last two days."

"Yes or no?"

"Yeah," he muttered. "Saw a yellow Beetle driving past here earlier in the evening. Can't tell you much else, ma'am, other than it was headed down the way to Portland."

"Thank you."

Regina headed back out to her car and continued down the narrow road. After a few more miles she passed the sign as she entered Portland. She had no idea where to start looking for Emma in that city because she could be anywhere or she could be on her way to Boston for all she knew.

She stopped at a twenty-four hour diner at four in the morning after driving through the streets of Portland for hours. She ordered a coffee and sat at a booth near the window and scrolled through the pictures she had on her phone, finding a few more of Emma and Henry she'd forgotten were even on there.

On her third cup of coffee and just after six that morning, Regina called David to keep him informed on her search for Emma and that she had only one lead that she had been seen driving her car to Portland. Before she could end the call, David informed her that he and Henry would be heading over to Emma's house to do another search to see if they could find anything that indicated where she could be headed.

Regina was back on the road an hour later and she stopped at a gas station on her way out of Portland to fill the tank. She asked the clerk if he had seen Emma by showing him a picture of her and he said she'd been there only a few hours ago to get some gas and that she bought some cigarettes too.

Regina called David for a second time, but it was Henry who answered David's phone.

"Mom, where are you?"

"I'm at a gas station in Portland," she replied. "Why are you answering David's phone?"

"He asked me to, he's looking through some of Ma's things."

"What are you hoping to find?"

"Mom?" Henry said, his voice quiet. "I found something I think. I don't want to tell him because Ma wouldn't want me to."

"Henry—"

"I think I know where she's going, Mom," he whispered. "I think she's going to New York, to the apartment we lived in there for a year."

"Henry, I don't think that—"

"She had kept the keys," he cut her off. "She kept them in this old cigar box on top of the fridge. I checked and they're gone. She has to be going there, Mom. She _has_ to be. She told me before that she wasn't going to sell it. Just in case. She never told me what she meant by that."

"She never said anything about this to me."

"She didn't want anyone to know," he said in a rush. "The only reason she told me was because I found the keys by accident when we were still living at the loft."

Regina drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she held the phone to her ear. If Emma was headed to New York City, Regina couldn't stray too far behind her. New York was a long drive and there was no way to know if Emma was going to hop on a plane once she reached Boston either.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"What are you going to do? Are you going to go to New York?"

Regina sighed. "What makes you so certain she's headed there, Henry?"

"The keys are _gone_ , Mom. Why else would she take them if she wasn't going there?"

"It's a long drive to New York City," Regina mused quietly. "Henry, do you think I should go there? What if we're wrong about this?"

"Mom, you have to at least go and see for yourself," Henry said, his voice still low. "I know it's a long drive, but you can't be too far behind her, right?"

"She has a few hours head start, dear."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Why did she leave?" Henry asked tearfully. "You don't think she's going to, you know, do drugs again, do you?"

"I don't know, Henry, I certainly would hope not, but if she's on the verge of relapse, it would certainly make sense that she would run somewhere where none of us can stop her."

"You have to stop her."

"Henry—"

"Mom, please."

"I will do what I can, Henry. I promise you that. Just as I promised you I will bring her home, okay?" Regina said and she exhaled sharply. "I will call you later. You'll be spending the night at your grandparents' house."

"But Mom—"

"This is not up for discussion, Henry. You are not staying home alone. I don't care if you're fourteen years old now, you're still not old enough to stay home alone all night."

"Fine," Henry muttered.

Regina hung up and was back on the road a few minutes later. She wasn't looking forward to driving all the way down to New York City, but her lack of plausible identification would be what prevented her from hopping on a plane from Boston to New York City. She just had to hold on to some shred of hope that Emma wasn't about to do just that and that maybe, just maybe she'd be able to catch up to her before she made it to New York.

[X]

Regina made it to Boston by noon, and she was exhausted having not slept all night aside from the unexpected nap she'd had in Emma's bed. She didn't want to stop until she got to New York City, but she knew she couldn't continue on until she'd had a few hours of sleep. She drove around until she found a motel just off the interstate and she checked in, relieved the clerk at the front desk accepted cash without any piece of identification.

The room was disgusting and smelled of stale cigarette smoke and beer, but she found the sheets were mostly clean and she didn't even bother to take off her heels when she laid down. She set the alarm on her phone for three hours and willed sleep to come quickly and easily.

Before she left Boston, she stopped to get something to eat and she started to speculate why Emma had run off in the first place. The only thing in her mind was that Emma was running from her, running because they had kissed, running because of whatever reason whether it was because she wanted more or was afraid of what would happen next.

Regina couldn't deny at all that she had felt something during their first kiss. What she didn't understand was why Emma had asked her to lay with her if she was only going to run away. That part made no sense in her mind and it bothered her to no end. The other thing she just couldn't understand was how Emma removed the cuff before she crossed the town line. She wanted answers, answers only Emma could provide for her, and she needed to find her if she ever wanted to get those answers.

Her agitation grew as the hours and the miles went on. Her focus kept shifting from the road to the many thoughts in her mind, and the radio did nothing to help keep her mind from wandering. She worried about what Emma was going to do when she reached New York, she worried about her relapsing, she worried that by the time she caught up to her and found her that she might end up being dead or dying as she had been when she found her a month ago in her bathroom barely breathing.

It was almost eleven that night when she finally made it to the city. She stopped to get some gas and called Henry for the address to the apartment. She kept the phone call quick as it was late and she knew Henry should be in bed and sleeping long before then, summer vacation or not. She bought a map at the gas station and located the street the apartment was on and got some half-assed instructions from the clerk at the gas station before she was back on the road.

Despite the hour growing late, the city was busy and traffic was nothing short of a nightmare, yet when she finally made a turn on to the street and saw Emma's car parked just down the street from the apartment building, she breathed a sigh of relief that Henry had been right about her going there.

She found a parking spot almost a block away and quickly walked to the apartment. Her luck was holding out as a man walking his dog exited out of the security gates at the front of the building and he politely held it open for her without a single word. There were no working elevators, just a set of stairs and Regina climbed up to the sixth floor as quickly as her feet could carry her.

When she reached the door to the apartment, she lifted a hand, ready to knock, but she hesitated. She knew it was highly likely that Emma wouldn't answer the door if she knew who was on the other side. Instead, she tried the door and her luck continued to hold out when she found it to be unlocked.

The apartment was dark aside from a single lamp just out of sight. Regina walked past the threshold and slammed the door behind her before she marched down the small hallway and stopped when she caught sight of Emma on the couch in the living room with a band around her left arm just above her elbow and a needle in her right hand, the tip hovering just above her skin.

"What the hell are you doing?" Regina roared as she quickly rushed over to Emma and tore the needle out of her hand. "Emma?"

"What are you doing here?" Emma murmured, clearly in shock that Regina had just walked in just seconds before she was about to shoot up.

"Have you used any before this?" Regina asked, her hands trembling as she looked at how much heroin was in the syringe. It was almost full and even she knew it was a lethal dose. "Emma, answer me, have you used any before this?"

"No," she whispered as she pulled the band off her arm and shrunk back into the leather couch. "How did you know I was here?"

"Henry."

"Fuck," she shuddered as she pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her hands. "Why did you come?"

"Why did I—Emma, you _ran away_. I was worried about you," Regina said as she tried to calm down, but she was so angry and her hands continued to shake. She shook her head, marched over to the kitchen sink, and squeezed out the syringe until there was nothing left.

Her heart was racing as she tossed the needle into the trash bin under the sink and she turned to look over at Emma and found her sobbing quietly on the couch. Regina ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head before finding a switch on the wall to turn on the kitchen lights.

"Emma, what are you doing? What are you thinking?" Regina asked and she exhaled sharply. "Emma, why did you run? Can you please at least answer me that? Why did you run?"

"I ran because I was scared," Emma said quietly, not lifting her head from her hands and her words were muffled. "I was scared because I kissed you. I was scared of what was going to happen when I woke up with you beside me and what you would do, what you would say. I was scared you would tell me to leave."

"Emma—"

"I'm a fucking coward, Regina," Emma said as she finally lifted her head to look over at her. "I'm a coward, Regina, and running is the one thing I'm good at doing."

"You are a fucking coward," Regina replied lowly. "You ran because you were afraid of what was going to happen between us?"

"I ran because I thought I fucked everything up! I kissed you, Regina!"

"I kissed you back," Regina snapped. "Do you think I would've laid down with you when you asked me to because you didn't want to be alone if I didn't want you to kiss me at all? Don't you think I would've slapped you if I didn't want you to kiss me, Emma?"

"I—I—"

"You're an idiot, Emma Swan," Regina yelled as she stormed into the living room and stood in front of Emma. "You are an idiot for thinking that way and a coward for running away. Why the hell were you thinking of shooting yourself up with that garbage again? To try and forget, to put yourself right back where you where when I found you dying on your bathroom floor?"

Emma stammered and she gasped when Regina forced her to stand on her feet. "Regina, I—I couldn't fight anymore. It's too hard!" Emma said tightly. "I just want it to go away."

"What do you want to go away?"

"Everything that I am feeling!" She snapped. "I just want it to be over. I want to be gone. I want—"

Regina grabbed her and kissed her then, hard, stunning Emma into silence. After a lingering moment passed, something clicked in Emma and she was kissing her back, her hands sliding into Regina's hair as they both sank into the kiss that quickly turned deep, passionate, and fuelled by a hunger Regina couldn't quite describe.

The feeling of kissing Emma Swan was exhilarating. Arousal surged through her body like lightning and she moved her hands down Emma's back before gripping at her hips and pulled Emma's body flush against her own. The kiss ended abruptly, but they didn't let go of one another.

"Emma, I love you," she said as she stared into Emma's tear-filled eyes. "I—I'm in love with you," she whispered. "You idiot."

"You—"

"I'm in love with you," Regina repeated and she tightened her grip on Emma's hips.

"You are?"

"Yes."

"I'm an idiot," Emma murmured as she blinked, clearly in a daze. "I really am. I—"

Regina kissed her again, hard and deep, fuelled by the same hunger that was there during that first kiss. She felt as if she were floating high as they began to stumble across the living room together. Regina moaned as her back collided with the wall, but neither broke apart from one another. She had a sudden need, an urging for more. She couldn't push Emma, not now, not ever, and she had to let Emma set the pace, she had to let Emma decide whether to put a stop to this or to continue.

It was that urging for more that had her hands sliding from Emma's hips and over her back, grasping at her t-shirt in an attempt to keep her hands from roaming elsewhere. She threw her head back against the wall when Emma's leg slipped between hers and Emma pulled back from the kiss, panting as she gripped hard on to Regina's hips.

There was almost a feral look in Emma's eyes and Regina couldn't hold back any longer, the urging, the need, it made her surge forward and she captured Emma's lips in another hungry kiss. She could feel Emma's hand slip from her hip and down along her thigh and kissed her harder as Emma pulled her leg up and around her waist. Regina could feel Emma's short nails digging in to the back of her thigh and she rolled her hips, moaning into Emma's mouth as wave after wave of arousal rolled through her body.

They kissed and grasped at one another until they had to part to take a breath. Emma let go of her thigh and Regina exhaled sharply though Emma's leg didn't move from between hers. Emma's eyes suddenly filled with tears and Regina kept a hold on her to keep her from moving away.

"I'm an idiot," Emma murmured. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, Regina. I'm so fucking sorry. I—I almost—god, I almost—"

"Emma," Regina whispered. "It's okay. You didn't do it. It's okay."

"You—you stopped me and then you tell me you're in love with me and then you kiss me like that…" Emma trailed off, her breath hitching in her throat. "Are you really?" Emma asked. "Are you really in love with me, Regina?"

"It took me a while to realize it, but yes," she said as a smile curled over her lips and her heart raced faster when Emma returned the smile. She lifted a hand to wipe at the single tear that slipped from the corner of Emma's eye.

They moved away from the wall, hands still grasping at one another, and the emotional weight of the moment wrapped itself around them both. Emma shook her head before she let go of Regina first. Regina immediately felt the loss of Emma's warm body against her own, but she didn't reach out for her as she watched Emma's eyes flick down to the coffee table and what lay on top. The lighter. The spoon. The small bag the heroin had come in and a half-empty bottle of water. The band lay on the couch where Regina had found her and Emma wrapped her arms around herself as she turned her back to Regina. A small sob escaped past her lips and Regina grabbed the paraphernalia and got rid of it, tossing it all into the garbage can under the sink.

The kiss—all of them—had been just a distraction from the weight of the current situation they were in. Regina approached Emma with caution, unsure of how she was going to react as she struggled with the emotions firing through her all at once. She tentatively reached out to touch Emma's shoulder and was surprised when Emma didn't pull away at all. She held open her arms as Emma turned to face her and she just held on to her as the tears fell steadily down Emma's cheeks.

"I feel so broken," Emma whispered, her breath hot against Regina's neck. "I hate feeling this way, Regina."

"I know."

"I'm broken. I've always been broken," Emma murmured and Regina rubbed a hand soothingly over the middle of her back. "How can you love me when I'm broken like this?"

"I just do," Regina replied. "You may be broken right _now_ , Emma, but you won't always be. You were— _are_ well on your way of mending those broken parts of yourself. It's not going to happen overnight, but it will happen in time. I will tell you again and again that I am not going anywhere and I am not going to give up on you. I will tell you a thousand times a day until you believe my words to be true."

Regina felt Emma's body quake as the tears continued to fall. She held on just a little tighter, her own hot tears filling her eyes as she could feel the heaviness, the burden of Emma's emotions as they took a toll on her.

"I'm sorry."

"Shh," Regina whispered before placing a kiss to the side of Emma's head.

"I'm so sorry, Regina," she sobbed. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't know how to stop from running or how to stop feeling so fucking terrified of what was going to happen next. I was so scared that I fucked everything up," she said, repeating her earlier words. "But do you know what scared me even more?"

Regina swallowed hard and shook her head. Emma leaned back and they stared into one another's eyes for the longest time. Regina didn't let her go and she just held on to the lingering gaze for as long as Emma would allow.

"I was scared that you would want something more and I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"It's all right, Emma," Regina whispered. "I know you're not ready for more and that is okay. It's okay."

"Regina, I—god, you have no idea how I feel about you, do you?"

"And how do you feel about me?"

"I started to fall in love with you a long time ago," Emma admitted easily. "I didn't mean to, it just happened. I never thought—I didn't think you'd ever—"

"Feel the same way?" Regina finished for her and Emma nodded. "Why would you think that, Emma?"

"Because I always thought I wasn't good enough for you, Regina."

"It should be I that feels that way, considering my own past as the Evil Queen, but I don't, do you know why? Because that is not who I am anymore. I am not the Evil Queen, I'm just Regina," Regina said as they let go of one another and sat down on the couch. "You are good enough, broken or not," she continued after a moment. "I see every part of you, I know you, Emma. You are a strong woman, even now, as broken as you feel. If there is one thing that I've learned since I met you is that we are not who we were in our past, we are who we are right now, and who we are right now is just another turn on the long road through life."

Emma sighed heavily and moved to lean against her as Regina lifted an arm to wrap around her shoulders. She held on to Emma and ran her fingers through her hair, not knowing what else to say, but had a feeling that it was better not to say anything at all.

Regina closed her eyes, her exhaustion and fatigue catching up to her all at once. Still she didn't say a word, she just held on to Emma and continued to stroke her fingers through her hair. She dozed in and out of sleep and she didn't move until the first rays of sunlight began to shine in through the windows.

"Emma?" Regina whispered as she gently nudged her awake.

"Hmm?"

"I think we should go and lay in bed."

"Shit," Emma groaned as she pulled back from Regina for the first time in hours. "I fell asleep on you again."

"You did."

"Bed sounds good," Emma sighed. "Uh, Henry's bed is still in his room. I haven't gotten right of everything. Never had the time. Uh, there are probably some clean sheets in the closet in his room."

Regina watched her as she stood up and stretched out slowly. Emma didn't say a word as she headed out of the living room and into one of the bedrooms. Regina sighed and leaned back on the couch, her back aching from the awkward position she had been sitting in for a handful of hours.

Her stomach churned as she thought of leaving Emma alone, especially after her almost relapse that would've killed her had she not shown up at the right moment. She shut off the lamp and the lights in the kitchen before quietly making her way to the other bedroom, Henry's bedroom.

Regina shut the door, turned to the one Emma had gone in, and she gently nudged the door open. Emma was laying face down on the queen-sized bed that had a few blankets haphazardly tossed on top of the bare mattress. Regina toed off her heels and un-tucked her blouse before she sat on the far side of the bed. Emma stirred but she didn't wake up from her slumber.

Regina sighed as she moved to lay down, pulling one of the blankets over her lower half and placed an arm behind her head due to the lack of pillows. Regina closed her eyes and kept them closed even though sleep wouldn't come easy. She kept her eyes closed when Emma turned towards her and slipped an arm over her middle as her head found her way to rest on Regina's shoulder.

Sleep, it seemed to come easier as she was lulled to the depths of sleep by the soft, steady sound of Emma breathing softly by her ear.

[X]

"Did you bring anything with you?" Emma asked as she cupped her hands around a hot mug of coffee. "Regina?"

"Yes," she nodded, savoring a sip of the aromatic coffee that was strong and tasted heavenly. "I have a bag. It's in my car."

They had slept for hours, waking up only when Regina's cell phone rang. It was Henry, worried since she hadn't called since the night before, and upon Emma quiet, nearly silent urging, she didn't tell him that she had found Emma in the position that she had, but that he had been right that she'd gone to the New York City apartment.

Henry asked her plenty of questions, mostly about when they were coming home, but she told him that she wasn't sure yet before she ended the call. After that phone call, she and Emma hadn't said much other than she was going to have a shower and asked Regina to put a pot of coffee on.

"Emma," Regina sighed as she placed the mug down on the table. "How long are you planning to stay here?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to come home?"

"I do. Just…not today."

"All right. Do you want me to leave?"

"No," Emma replied quickly. "I mean if you want to leave, I'm not going to stop you, but I'd really like it if you stayed. Here with me."

"For how long, Emma?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "A couple of days? I just—I don't want to go home yet. I need a break. I need an escape."

"And here is where you want that break? That escape?" Regina asked. "Emma, I caught you about to pump yourself with a lethal dose of heroin last night. You ran for a lot of reasons the other day, but not from that?"

Emma sighed and placed her mug on the counter behind her. "I never used when I was here," she said quietly. "I—I—before I started again six months ago, it had been eight years since the last time I touched any dope."

Regina took a seat at the table and watched as Emma shook her head and turned to look out the window where the sun was shining in brightly from outside. Emma's hair was still damp from her shower and Regina's eyes fell to the damp spots on her grey shirt where her hair laid.

"The first time I was twenty, in between jobs, moving from place to place, never had any roots, no connections. I don't remember how it started, but I—I remember how it ended. I woke up in the hospital three days after an overdose that should've killed me. It was easy to get off the dope then, it hadn't been any more than a month since I started smoking it. Went a few months clean and sober, but then I got beat up on a tough job while I was hunting down this drug dealer. He—he forced me down on the ground and shot me up."

Regina gripped her mug tightly, kept her eyes on Emma, and ignored the questions running rampant in her mind. She was more worried about Emma at the moment, about her past, about how many other reasons she had turned to drugs instead of facing whatever it was she was running from at the time, be it her guilt, loss, or something else.

"After that, the cravings came and went. Would shoot up every couple of weeks, sober up, do a couple of jobs, then I'd find some place and hole away for a week or two," Emma continued and she shook her head. "By the time I was twenty-four, I knew I had to stop, but it was so hard, Regina. I kept moving from city to city, hoping it'd help, hoping I'd be able to stop."

"Did you find a way?"

"Yeah. Checked myself into a rehab in some small town in Montana, I forget the name of the place but I stayed there for a little over a year. Went to Tallahassee after that and Boston two years later, and well, you know the rest of the story after that."

Regina's mouth felt dry and it reached her throat. She picked up her mug and sipped her coffee without taking her eyes off of Emma. "Is that why you think you aren't good enough?"

"Yes."

"You're an idiot."

"I know, I—"

"Stop," Regina said and she held up a hand, not realizing it was shaking until she followed Emma's eyes. "I want you to promise me something, Emma."

"What?"

"That from this very second on, you are going to leave who you have become behind including all the thoughts in that head of yours that have turned you into this person, and you are going to fight to become the Emma Swan you deserve to be."

"It's not going to be easy."

"No," Regina said softly. "Nothing in life ever is, but this is a long road you are on, Emma, and I am going to be here for you every step of the way, just as long as you can promise me that you are going to fight with everything that you have, even with strength you don't know is even there. Promise me you are going to try."

"Are there any conditions?"

"No more running," Regina replied. "Not for any reason, Emma. If you are going to run, I want you to run to me. Do you promise?"

"Yes," Emma whispered as she closed the distance between them and knelt down in front of Regina. "I promise, Regina."

And she sealed her promise with a kiss, one that made Regina feel that she truly meant it with every inch of her heart and soul.

Emma needed to take every day just one day at a time, just as Regina knew that their ever-changing relationship would have to be taken the very same way. The next few days were going to be interesting to say the least, but they would also pave the way for how the next few weeks, months, and years would turn out as well.

And all she could do and hope for was for things to get better, for the journey down the long road in life to continue instead of going backwards over and over again.


	7. Chapter 7

Regina felt restless after two days in the city. She was used to the quiet of Storybrooke, used to the slower pace of life there, not the hustle and bustle that unfolded all around her outside in the streets below. Neither of them had left the apartment aside from Regina retrieving her luggage from her car and a joint trip to the grocery store.

They cooked, they talked, and they slept in the same bed for mid-afternoon naps and at night. They didn't talk about Emma running away, not since that night Regina had found her, but there were still some things Emma needed to answer and one of those things was how the hell she had gotten the cuff off in the first place.

By the third morning, Regina was more than ready to go home, but she knew Emma wasn't quite there yet and she didn't want to force her to go home before she was ready. Regina had been up early, since before the sun even rose. She had showered, dressed in her last clean clothes. She put on the coffee and opened the window to the fire escape to let the warm breeze in.

Regina spent the next hour leaning against the windowsill, sipping coffee and reflecting on the past couple of days. The night she had caught and stopped Emma from shooting herself up to death, it had taken such a heavy emotional toll on them both. They hadn't kissed since the last time they'd kissed when Emma had made her the promise that next day, but they had been close, sharing lingering touches as they had been doing for weeks, but there was something so much more behind those touches now, just as there was so much more between the small smiles they exchanged at times for no reason at all.

Emma wasn't ready for more, and that was something Regina thought about the most. She wasn't sure she was ready for more between them either, but there was no denying the heated passion that had been there while they had kissed, and the hunger that no doubt driven them both. She wanted more, she wanted to kiss Emma again whenever she felt like it, she wanted to know the feel of Emma's hand on her body, she wanted to know the way that Emma's skin felt beneath her fingertips as she explored every inch of her for hours on an end.

"Morning," Emma said, startling her from her thoughts.

Regina cleared her throat and turned away from the windowsill. "Good morning, Emma."

"How come you were up so early?"

"Habit," Regina replied and she grabbed her mug off the windowsill and walked into the kitchen. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did until you left."

"I'm right here. I didn't go anywhere."

"I meant until you left the bed," Emma muttered, her voice cracking slightly as she grabbed a mug and poured a cup of coffee. "Call me crazy, Regina, but the last few nights, I don't think I've ever slept like that in my life."

"Oh? Like how?"

"Peacefully. I don't know, it's stupid, isn't it?"

"Not at all. I know exactly what you mean."

"Yeah?" Emma turned with a half smile forming over her lips. "You do?"

"Yes," Regina nodded and placed her mug next to Emma's and she returned the smile. Emma poured her another cup of coffee and set the carafe back on the burner. "Emma, there is something I've been meaning to ask you."

"What is it?" Emma asked nervously. "Is this about us?" She asked in a rush before Regina could say a word. "Regina, I feel the same way about you, I just—I don't know if I'm ready and it's not because I don't want you, because I do, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about kissing you again and I—"

"Will you shut up for a second?" Regina snapped lightly. "I know you are not ready, Emma, but that is not what I am going to ask you. What I want to know is how the hell you got the cuff off before you crossed the town line. Who did it for you?"

"No one did," Emma muttered into her mug. "I crossed the line, took it off, crossed back over and placed it on the note I'd know you or someone else would find. You really think someone would've taken it off of me?"

"You are the Savior, dear."

"Was, I _was_ the Savior. I'm just…Emma Swan now."

"Yes you are."

"I'm just—wait, what?" Emma blinked in confusion and Regina had to suppress the urge to roll her eyes at how utterly adorable she looked in that moment. "I'm just Emma Swan?"

"Yes," Regina smiled. "That is only who you have to be is yourself. Not the lost little orphan girl, not the junkie, not the Savior, not the Dark One. Just Emma Swan."

Emma threw her arms around her and sobbed into her neck. Regina exhaled as she relaxed in Emma's embrace, reveling in the warmth she felt spreading throughout her entire body.

"Kiss me," Emma whispered against her ear.

"You're not ready."

"Maybe not for anyone else to find out about this, about us," Emma said as she leaned back slowly. "Not right away."

Regina knew where she was coming from. Their ever-changing relationship would not be wildly accepted by anyone else other than their son, no doubt. There would be complications neither of them were ready to face head on, together or alone, and she knew now why Emma wasn't ready for something more to happen between them.

"Not right away," Regina repeated softly. "I understand."

"You do?"

"Emma, if there is one person in this entire world, in all the realms, who truly understands you, who is that person?"

"You?"

"Yes," Regina smiled and she fought the urge just to close the small distance between them and kiss her. "And nothing is going to change that."

"Regina—"

"What do you want, Emma?" Regina asked, their lips now only a hairsbreadth apart and she could feel Emma's short nails digging into her hips as she gripped on tight. "Tell me, what do you want, Emma?"

"I want a lot of things," Emma replied. "Mostly, I want you."

"What do you want, Emma?" She asked again, her heart racing, thundering in her chest.

"I want to kiss you."

"Anything else?"

"I just…want to kiss you."

"Is that all you want?"

"For right now."

It was Emma who closed the last tiny bit of distance and captured Regina's lips in a sweet kiss. It didn't last near as long as Regina had hoped and she hid her disappointment by turning to pick up her mug and took a sip without bothering to put a splash of milk or two. She exhaled sharply at the strong, bitter taste of the coffee and she walked back over to the window by the fire escape.

Sirens wailed off in the distance and she took another sip of her black coffee before she felt the warmth and tenderness of Emma's arms wrapping around her from behind. The intimacy of the embrace was not lost on her, but instead of pulling away, she sank back into Emma's body and tilted her head just as Emma dropped a kiss on to her neck.

"Is this okay?" Emma whispered, her breath tickling the shell of Regina's ear as she spoke.

"Yes."

"Can I…touch you like this whenever I want?"

"Yes."

Emma exhaled softly before placing a lingering kiss on her neck just above her pulse point and then another just under her jaw. "Can I kiss you whenever I want?"

"Yes," Regina replied, her breath trembling slightly as Emma kissed her once more, nipping lightly at her skin before she pulled away. "Any time you want."

Emma's breath hitched as hers did and Regina closed her eyes as Emma took the mug out of her hand gently. She opened her eyes, watching as Emma placed the mug on the windowsill and she held her breath as Emma turned her around slowly.

Regina could not remember a time when she felt just like this, that she felt so many emotions, so many of them she couldn't even put a name to, but each and every single one of them felt nothing short of amazing. She never felt this way with anyone else before, she didn't feel that warmth, that explosive surge of nothing but love, that lust, the arousal, the need, the want, the urging that she felt in that very moment with anyone else other than Emma Swan.

Unfortunately, before they could share a kiss, Regina's phone began to ring and Emma reluctantly let go of her to allow her to pick it up from the coffee table. Henry's name flashed on the screen and Regina groaned quietly. She debated whether to let it go through to voice mail because every time Henry had called her or text her, he was asking her a question she couldn't answer yet: when are you coming home?

"Our son has the worst timing," Regina muttered and Emma just smiled as Regina answered the call. "Hello Henry."

"Hey," he replied. "Mom you have got to come home."

"Is something wrong?"

"Do you know how many times I get woken up because Neal won't stop crying?" Henry complained. "Why can't I just stay home by myself, Mom?"

"Because you're too young to be alone all night."

"But—"

"I told you before that this is not a discussion, Henry."

"When are you guys coming home?"

Regina sighed and walked over to the windowsill to pick up her mug. "I don't know," she said after she took a sip. "Soon."

"Tonight?"

"Not that soon, Henry."

"Why not? Is Ma okay?"

"She's fine," Regina said as she looked over at Emma. "She just needs a couple of days before we come home, that's all. You needn't worry."

"But why?"

"Henry, I know it's hard for you to understand—"

"Let me talk to him," Emma said as she held out a hand. "Regina?"

"Your mother wants to talk to you," Regina said before she handed the phone to Emma.

"Hey kid," Emma said cheerfully as she walked away with the phone to her right ear and she slipped into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her for a little privacy.

Regina wasn't bothered by the action. Emma wanted to talk to their son privately and Regina was perfectly fine in respecting that she wanted that privacy to talk to Henry and to tell him whatever it is she wanted to tell him without Regina being within earshot. It was entirely up to Emma what she disclosed to their son about why she had run, about why they were still in New York City, and why they hadn't come home yet.

Regina browsed the bookshelf in the living room and spotted a small photo album that she immediately plucked off the shelf. Regina sat on the couch in the corner and kicked off her flats she'd slipped on earlier and brought her legs up on the couch as she settled in comfortable to flip through the photo album.

The first page was written in Henry's writing, titled "Our Adventures" with a smiley face underneath. They were all pictures taken during their year in the city and a part of Regina's heart ached when she remembered how much she had missed Henry, and even then a part of her had missed Emma too.

"I forgot to pack that before we came back," Emma said as she lingered in the kitchen and placed Regina's cell phone down on the kitchen table. "Henry took pictures everywhere we went. He doesn't do that anymore."

"No, he wouldn't because photography was an interested I put into both of your memories in hopes that I could look back and see your lives one day even if it was just through the photographs he'd taken."

Wordlessly Emma moved to stand behind the couch and she leaned over the back, her face close to Regina's as Regina flipped the page. She shifted slightly on the couch when Emma's hands fell upon her shoulders and she flipped the next page and Emma gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze.

"I remember saving up for a month to buy him a new camera, a better one than what he already had," Emma whispered into her ear as the quality of the pictures were clearly different and better than the first few pages. "I spent over a thousand dollars on that camera. I must've been crazy."

"A thousand dollars?"

"Crazy, right?"

"I would've spent two."

"On a camera for a kid who is only twelve?" Emma laughed softly. "Crazy, but he took good care of it."

"What happened to it?"

"I don't know. After I ran into Neal, after everything with Walsh and then with _him_ showing up, everything just became such a blur. As you can see," Emma said with a slight wave around the living room. "We didn't exactly pack much before we went back to Storybrooke."

"We should," Regina said as she turned to look back at Emma. "Pack some of his things at least. I'm sure I saw a few rare comic books I know he would love to have in his collection at home."

"Yeah. Probably should get rid of the clothes I didn't pack for him. He's grown a lot since we left," Emma said and she sighed softly before she started to lightly massage Regina's shoulders. "I—I told him we would be coming back in a couple of days."

"Oh?"

"He whined about it. He's tired of staying with my parents and my baby brother. Can't blame him. I know what its like not getting enough sleep because Neal is a very fussy kid and refuses just to sleep," she sighed. "Was Henry like that at Neal's age?"

"Sometimes," Regina replied. "But he learned fairly quick not to fuss because he was not going to get his way. I've had my fair share of sleepless nights when he was that young."

They had talked about Henry when he was younger before, sometimes talking about the shared memories Regina had given to her, other times talking about some of the things that she hadn't shared at all. Regina was certain that if it were not for Henry, they would not have gotten over their differences and became friends, at least not the way they had, the transition neither smooth nor complicated. Henry seemed to be the glue that held them together, but she knew it was also the unspoken connection that they had to one another as well.

"I have a feeling we're not out of the woods yet on those sleepless nights," Emma said with a low chuckle. "In not even two years he's going to be driving."

"Don't remind me."

"He's dating now."

"Not exactly," Regina reminded her. "He sees Violet with his friends. I don't think they've been on an actual date by themselves yet."

"No, they haven't, but it's going to happen. Are you ready for that?"

"No. Are you?"

"Not at all," Emma laughed and the sound of her laughter sent delicious shivers down Regina's spine. "Would you want to, I don't know, go on a date before we go home?" Emma asked, her voice filled with nerves as her hands stilled on Regina's shoulders.

"A date?" Regina asked, trying and failing to hide her smile that just flooded and burst through her. "And where is this date taking place, Emma?"

"Can I surprise you?"

"Yes," Regina smiled as she turned to look back at her again. "Tonight?"

"Yeah, we can do that tonight," Emma grinned and Regina almost expected a kiss with how close their lips were, but Emma's eyes cast down to the photo album open in her lap. "Flip the page, the next few are pretty hilarious. We took a trip down to New Jersey the first weekend after school ended. Don't ask my why I thought Atlantic City was a good choice because it definitely wasn't, but we still had fun. Too much fun. Henry went a little crazy on corn dogs that weekend and ended up making himself sick. Let me tell you, it took a few trips to get the Bug detailed before the smell of puke got out of the backseat."

They spent the rest of the morning together looking through Henry's photo album of his and Emma's adventures in New York City. Regina couldn't remember a time in the last six months that she had heard Emma laugh as much as she did in those few hours they spent together pouring over those photographs.

The change in the aura around them was not at all lost on Regina, but she reveled in each of Emma's lingering touches, always allowing Emma to make that first tiny move, never pushing for more even though every inch of her very being wanted to. When Emma went for her early afternoon nap after they had lunch, Regina busied herself with cleaning the kitchen, trying to ignore the thousand and one thoughts running rampant through her mind by wiping down every surface, every cupboard, and even the floor.

At four that afternoon, Emma told her to get ready and with her being on her last clean outfit, Regina felt at loss as to what to do when it came to something to wear on what would be considered their first official date. While Emma was in the shower, Regina headed out and explored the neighborhood, and with whatever string of luck she'd had since Emma had run that had led her to finding her just in the knick of time, she found a small shop half a block away from the apartment where she found what she thought was the perfect first date dress.

Regina was ready by seven and waiting in the living room as patiently as she could for Emma to finish getting ready. She glanced down at the black dress she had bought and ran her hands over the curves of her hips, loving the way the material clung to her skin as if it were made to fit only her body.

With Emma, things were not easy, they were far from it, and the fact that Regina was not used to the customs of that world when it came to dating, she was beyond nervous about how the night would play out. She understood Emma, far more than she ever gave herself credit for, but she had no idea of what kind of expectations that Emma expected during their first date and that only served to raise her nerves to a level she had never in her whole life ever experienced before.

When Emma emerged from her room, dressed in a skin-tight red dress and high black heels, her hair curled at the ends and her makeup done to perfection, Regina's breath was taken away completely. For the first time in a very long time, Regina found herself nervous and yet giddy at the same time. Any other time, she would've hated how vulnerable it made her feel, but not then, not in that moment.

They left the apartment shortly afterwards and Emma led the way down the street to a small Italian restaurant just around the corner. They were seated almost immediately in a rather private table in a quiet and dimly lit corner. Emma asked the waiter for water, only water, to be served when he showed up a few minutes after they'd been seated with two bottles of wine for them to select from.

"Henry and I used to come here at least once a week for the lasagna," Emma said quietly once the waiter had left to leave them to decide on what they were going to have for dinner. "It's not as good as yours, but it's still good."

"I see," Regina said as her eyes scanned the menu. "What else is good here?"

"Everything," Emma laughed. "I would've taken you somewhere else, but pretty much everywhere in this city you need a reservation days in advance."

"This is fine, Emma," Regina said with a smile. "It's nice. Quiet."

"Yeah, it's kind of why I picked the place aside from the fact that Henry loved coming here to eat. Oh, this isn't romantic for a first date, is it? I mean this used to be mine and Henry's place and—"

"It's perfect because it's his favorite," Regina said gently and she reached across the small table and placed a hand on top of Emma's with a smile. "What would you suggest?" Regina asked as she gestured to the menu. "I wouldn't know where to start."

"The servings here are pretty big, so I was thinking maybe we could share a dish?" Emma asked and Regina nodded. Emma intertwined their fingers on top of the table and scanned over her menu. "The cannelloni is amazing. Would you like to try that?"

"Meat or cheese?"

"Cheese?" Emma shrugged. "We can get them to make it half an half. They do it in one big roll here."

"Whatever you would like is fine with me, Emma."

Emma nodded and closed the menu, keeping their fingers intertwined as the waiter came to the table with a pitcher of ice water and poured them each a glass. Emma ordered their dinner with a side of salad and garlic bread. The waiter just smiled politely as he noticed their hands and when Regina began to pull away, Emma held on a little tighter.

"You don't need to pull away," Emma whispered once the waiter had left. "Unless you don't want to be seen holding my hand in public?"

"It's fine, Emma, it's just not something I'm used to."

"Holding hands?"

"Holding hands with you," she replied. "Kissing you," she added quietly. "Emma, it's clear how we both feel about one another, but I wanted to ask you how you would like to do this once we are back home."

"I—I don't know, I guess we just take it slow for now?"

"And keep this between ourselves for the time being?"

"Well, we should tell Henry. He'll figure it out one way or another anyway, but I think it is better if we tell him that we're…"

"Dating?" Regina asked and she saw Emma blush a little before she nodded her head.

"Dating," Emma repeated. "We'll still go out when we get home, right? On dates and stuff?"

"Yes," Regina nodded. "Of course we can do that, Emma."

"And I—I think we really do need to take this slow, you know, because I don't know if I'm ready for anything more than just going out on dates and kissing you right now."

Regina knew she was talking about the sexual aspect of their relationship and she knew it was going to be their best choice to wait to have sex, especially since Emma was still very much in recovery. If things were going to work out between the two of them, they would have to wait to get to that point of their relationship, whether it was months or even a year—which she hoped it wouldn't be, but she was more than willing to wait for however long they needed to.

They talked quietly, more about Henry than anything else. They ate their dinner and after deciding to skip on dessert, Emma paid the bill and led the way out of the small restaurant. They went for a walk until they ended up in Central Park an hour later where there was a dance floor set up and a band played on a small stage. Dozens of people were dancing with their partners or spouses and Emma looked at Regina with a raised eyebrow before it was Regina who led the way to the dance floor.

Regina was surprised how well the evening was turning out, but she knew she shouldn't be too surprised since it wasn't all that different than all the nights they'd spent together over the past month. They danced for hours, long after the sun had set and the stars came out. They made it back to the apartment just before midnight where they shared a lengthy goodnight kiss just outside the door in the hallway and Regina went inside first, at Emma's urging and was a little surprised when Emma didn't follow her inside.

"Go. Let's do this right, okay?" Emma whispered before she shut the door.

Regina shook her head and slipped out of her heels, her feet aching from all the walking and dancing they'd done that night, but she was happy and she had thoroughly enjoyed her first date with Emma. She walked into the living room and turned on the lights in the kitchen before taking a seat on the leather couch. She waited for almost ten minutes for Emma to come inside and just as she was about to go back over to the door and find out what the hell she was doing, Emma came in and shut the door behind her, grinning widely as she locked it and slipped out of her heels.

"So," Emma said as she strolled over to the couch and sat down. "I just had the most amazing date with the most amazing woman," she grinned cheekily.

"Did you now?" Regina played along. "Amazing, was it?"

"Yeah," Emma chuckled. "You know what the best part was?"

"A kiss goodnight at the door?" Regina smirked and Emma nodded her head. "You're a goof, Emma."

"Did you have fun tonight, Regina?"

"I had an wonderful time with you," she nodded and she leaned over and pressed her lips to Emma's cheek lightly. "Thank you, Emma. I can't wait to go out with you again."

"As a couple," Emma breathed out softly and she turned to place a lingering kiss on Regina's lips and pulled back with a wide smile. "This is crazy, isn't it?"

"Why is it crazy?"

Emma shook her head. "You and me. Us. The fact that there is an _us_ now."

"I wouldn't call it crazy," Regina drawled and she licked over her lips slowly, watching Emma's eyes flick down to watch her as she did. "Unexpected, yes, but definitely not crazy. Your parents, however, will think that you've lost your damn mind when they find out about us."

Emma breathed out heavily and groaned. "Yeah and watch, they'll probably think you've put some kind of spell on me or something."

"That is likely."

"They'll probably try to come between us."

"Of course they will."

"I won't let them," Emma said with a firm look of determination. "If they hate that we're together, then that's fine. They'll just have to learn to accept it, to be okay with it, with us. If they can't…well, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I guess we'll…"

"We'll cross that bridge when that happens."

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm better off staying here," Emma whispered after a few minutes. "We can just…be ourselves here, be together, and raise Henry together. I know it's not possible for us to just stay here, Storybrooke is yours and Henry's home."

"It's yours too."

"Sometimes it doesn't feel like home, Regina."

"And it feels like home here?"

"Only because you're here."

"Smooth," Regina chuckled.

"I try."

Regina smiled and she stood up from the couch, smoothing down her dress as she looked down at Emma. "It's getting late. I'm going to head to bed."

"Right behind you."

Regina changed into her pajama's first, a pair of black silk bottoms with a matching camisole. She was on her way out of the bedroom just as Emma came in and she washed her makeup off in the bathroom before they switched so Emma could do the same. The domesticity of their living arrangements for the past month came so easily that neither seemed to think of it at all. Regina settled into bed, keeping only the lamp on as she pulled up a single sheet to her waist and settled in.

Emma returned a few minutes later, her face clean of her makeup and her hair tied back loosely. She turned off the lamp and settled into the bed next to Regina. Emma had been wearing boxers and a tank top to bed, but she had chosen to wear long plaid pants instead of the boxers. Regina turned to look at Emma as Emma turned to look over at her and they met halfway for a lingering kiss goodnight.

Emma was the one who reached out first and pulled Regina in a little closer. Their kissed deepened quickly and before either of them could put a stop to it, Emma was moving to straddle Regina's hips without breaking their kiss. The weight of Emma on top of her only caused her to kiss Emma harder, deeper. She balled her fists into the back of Emma's tank top while arching her body up into hers. Her whole body was thrumming with desire, with need, with arousal, and the fact that she was on the bottom had her urging to reverse their positions immediately. She didn't, however, and instead she moved a hand to press against Emma's chest to push her back, ending their kiss and their close contact.

"We should stop," Regina whispered against Emma's lips. "It's late."

"Fuck. I'm sorry."

"Don't."

Emma moved to lay on her side of the bed, but her hands rubbed over the slight curve at Regina's waist, her fingers dipping just under the hem of her camisole. "I'm sorry," Emma murmured under her breath. "God, I want you. I want—"

"Emma, we will get there," Regina whispered gently. "In time. When you are truly ready."

Regina's heart was pounding and her arousal was coursing through her body, making her mind and heart spin wildly out of control. Regina ran a hand over Emma's forearm while Emma continued to stroke over her skin just under the hem of her camisole. She wanted to push that hand higher, lower, to feel more of the warmth of Emma's palm against her flesh.

"I want you," Regina murmured even though she hadn't meant to say it aloud. Emma's short nails grazed over her skin roughly and Regina could barely hold back. How she was going to keep from physically jumping Emma from that point onwards, she had absolutely zero clue. "Good night, Emma."

"Good night," Emma replied, her breath tickling over Regina's lips.

Regina moved to take the hand that was under her camisole into her own and she brought it up to her lips, kissing lightly over Emma's knuckles. Without a word having to be spoken, they moved until Regina became the little spoon, taking Emma's hand with her other as they settled in on the bed curled up against one another.

It was going to be a long night, that much Regina knew as she struggled to fall asleep. She focused on the sound and the feel of Emma's breath against the back of her neck and after a long while, she finally gave in to the pull of sleep, drifting off into a deep, dreamless state.

[X]

Regina woke up alone in the bed and to the sounds of clattering coming from the kitchen and the intoxicating aroma of fresh coffee wafting in the air. Breaking her own rule about wearing pajamas outside the bedroom, she made her way into the kitchen to find Emma at the sink washing some of the dishes that had piled up from the day before.

"Morning," Emma said as she turned to look at her quickly before turning back to the sink to finish rinsing one of the plates.

"Good morning," Regina replied. "I'm surprised you're awake so early, dear."

"Yeah," Emma shrugged, placing the plate in the drying rack as she turned off the water.

"Couldn't sleep any longer?"

"No," she shrugged again. "I've been thinking."

"Oh? About what?"

"Going home," Emma replied. "We need to go home, don't we?"

"Yes we do."

"Today," Emma clarified. "I'll give what is left of the food we bought to the homeless guy around the corner and we can go somewhere for breakfast before we get on the road."

Regina was surprised that Emma was ready to go home, but she wasn't going to question it or push Emma for any answers as to why she suddenly felt different that morning versus how she'd felt the day before. She had to wonder if the talk Emma had with Henry on the phone yesterday morning had anything to do with it or even the date they'd gone on last night.

They had their coffee, showered, dressed, and then packed. Emma used Regina's phone, since hers had been purposely left behind, to call Henry and to let him know they were both coming home. After they put their things in their own cars, Emma took what was left of their food to give to the homeless man around the corner. Regina just stood aside and watched as the man's face lit up with nothing but gratitude and awe.

They stopped at a diner not far from the apartment, making plans to stop at certain places in case one got ahead or too far behind the other. They shared a brief kiss before they got into their own vehicles and Regina exhaled sharply, watching Emma pull away from the curb before she followed and merged into the heavy traffic.

They were going home, home where they belonged, home to their son, their family. Regina wasn't sure how different things would be once they were back in Storybrooke, but she had a feeling the darkest of days were now behind them.


	8. Chapter 8

It was after ten that night before Regina approached the town line, invisible, but there as she could just faintly feel the magic that lay a few feet ahead. She looked in the rearview mirror at the headlights that approached from behind and she smiled as Emma pulled up beside her and shifted into park, the Bug idling as Emma got out of the car.

"You go first," Emma said as she approached the driver's side, the window down. She handed the scroll to Regina and sighed. "Just in case."

"In case I don't trust you to toss this over the line so I too can come home?"

"Something like that. I also want you to put the cuff back on me once I'm over."

"Emma, do you really think it is necessary?"

"Yeah, I do. You may trust me, Regina, but I don't trust myself. Not yet."

Regina sighed as she gripped on to the scroll tightly. Emma was scared and nervous. She wanted to go home, but now that they were just a few feet from crossing the town line to go home, she was taking a few giant steps backwards. She didn't say a word as Emma took another step back and watched her drive slowly over the town line. She stopped and got out of the car after she grabbed the cuff and she tossed the scroll over the fading line and watched Emma as she bent down to pick it up.

It took Emma a few minutes before she finally drove over the line and came to a stop beside Regina's car. She got out and walked right over to where Regina was waiting with the cuff in hand.

"Wait," Emma whispered before Regina could slip it on to her left wrist. "Kiss me first."

"Emma—"

"Please?" Emma asked and she wrapped her arms around Regina's waist, pulling her in close. "I just want to know what it feels like to kiss you when I can feel my magic again."

Regina's heart was racing as Emma kissed her hard. Every kiss they'd shared had been intense, but nothing could have prepared Regina for the way it felt to kiss Emma with their magic flowing strongly in their bodies. It was nothing short of exhilarating and it left her body buzzing when they parted after only a few short minutes.

Regina knew she needed to put the cuff on Emma, but she allowed her a moment to revel in the feeling of what it was like to be so connected passionately to another with powerful magic. She wanted to kiss her again, at least just once more, but a set of headlights approaching them caused them both to step out of their embrace and Emma held out her wrist, frowning as Regina slipped the cuff on and took another step back.

"Emma!" Mary Margaret said excitedly as she jumped out of David's truck before he had stopped completely. She ran towards Emma and threw her arms around her tightly. "Oh Emma, we were so worried about you."

"Mom—"

"We missed you," Mary Margaret said quickly and she looked over at Regina, mouthing thank you, before she reluctantly dropped her arms from around her daughter. "Are you okay? Was the drive from New York all right?"

"It was long," Emma replied, avoiding her first question.

"Where is Henry?" Regina asked David as he walked over to them.

"He's waiting at the house for you," David replied. "He uh, he called us to tell us you two were almost home. We wanted to make sure you got over the line without any problems. Seems like you did."

"You look good, sweetie," Mary Margaret said to Emma with a smile. "I guess you did need a bit of a break."

"Yeah," Emma muttered awkwardly. "Uh, I'm tired. Long drive, you know?" She said and she cast a glance over at Regina. "I kind of just want to go home and go to bed."

"Your mother spent two days cleaning your house for you," David said to her and Emma looked at Regina again. "Nice fresh sheets and towels are waiting for you."

"Um, I'm not going to my house, I'm going back to Regina's," Emma said quietly. "I'm not ready to be alone just yet."

"But you won't be," Mary Margaret replied. "We're going to stay with you."

"No."

"No?"

"No," Emma repeated. "I'm going home with Regina. I—I feel more in control of myself when I'm there at home—at her house."

Mary Margaret looked taken back and Regina would've been smug about it had the situation been any different. Regina went to grab her phone from her car to text Henry, clarifying just where he was and after a minute he responded that he was at Emma's house because his grandparents had told him that Emma was going to stay there. Regina shook her head and told him she'd be around to pick him up and then the three of them would be going home.

Emma and her mother were talking quietly, arguing from the look on Emma's face, but Regina didn't want to interfere and instead she walked over to where David was standing, he too keeping his distance.

"She doesn't understand," David whispered. "I tried to talk to her earlier, but she has it in her head that Emma needs us, not you."

"She's wrong."

"I know she is," David nodded. "I'll talk to her again tonight. Why don't you go pick up Henry at Emma's and I'll make sure Emma heads to your place shortly."

"Thank you, David."

He just smiled tightly at her before he walked over to his wife and daughter, trying to diffuse the situation while Regina got into her car and drove off. She grit her teeth as she drove through the streets of Storybrooke, wishing she could just give Mary Margaret a piece of her mind and tell her just how much her very presence could drive Emma to relapse if she wasn't careful to keep her distance and to respect the fact that Emma didn't want or need her help when she had Regina and Henry.

Henry was waiting on the sidewalk when Regina pulled up in front of Emma's house. He opened the door and slung his backpack in the trunk before sliding into the front seat. Neither said a word as Regina drove home, but she could tell that Henry was almost bursting with questions for her that she didn't want to answer without Emma. They had agreed to tell Henry about their relationship, but what they were going to say to him was something they had yet to discuss.

Emma was already parked in the driveway when Regina pulled up beside her and Henry was scrambling to get out of the car and launched himself at Emma almost immediately. Regina slipped out of the car and watched as Emma ruffled his hair and told him how much she had missed him too before the three of them headed for the front door together.

"Hey kid?" Emma said as Regina unlocked the door. "Can you get your mom's luggage and my bag out of the car?"

"Now?"

"Yes, now," Emma replied and Henry rolled his eyes but did as he was asked while Regina led the way inside. "We need to tell him."

"I was just thinking the same thing on the ride over here," Regina replied. "And just what are we going to tell him, Emma?"

"That something happened in New York City," she answered. "Something good," she added with a smile. "Something…amazing."

"Amazing?" Regina chuckled and she almost pulled Emma in for a kiss, but Henry came rushing in the door with her suitcase, Emma's bag and his own. "I know it's getting late, Henry, but we need to talk to you."

"Okay?" Henry said as he walked up the steps into the foyer and put the bags down at the foot of the stairs. "What about, Moms? Did something happen?"

"Yes," Regina said with a small smile and she turned to look at Emma when Emma placed a hand on the small of her back. "Let's go make some hot cocoa and talk."

Henry hadn't noticed Emma's hand at all as he led the way into the kitchen. He immediately pulled out the container of cocoa, and then got the milk out and the small pot they always used to heat the milk. Regina loved that it could be the hottest day of summer, or later at night, or even now that Henry was fourteen and he still enjoyed his cocoa as much as he always had. Regina sat at the island with Emma standing behind her, Emma's hand still resting lightly on her back.

"I know you went to New York because you needed to get away," Henry said as he carefully measured and poured the milk into the pot. "I wish you would've taken me with you, Ma. I miss it there sometimes. Did you bring the comics you told me about on the phone?"

"I did, yeah," Emma said quietly as she began to stroke her fingers over Regina's lower back. "I brought your photo album back too."

"You did?" Henry looked over at her in surprise. "Did you show Mom?"

"Yes," Regina smiled at him. "And she told me the story behind just about every single one of them too."

"Did you like them?"

"I did, dear."

"Maybe we can all go back, just the three of us, make our own album sometime?"

Regina looked back at Emma and they shared a small smile. "That would be wonderful, Henry."

"Maybe we can go back before school starts again," Emma added. "For a week or something. What do you think?"

"Really?"

"You wanted to go back, didn't you?" Emma asked teasingly. "How about we talk more about that tomorrow, kid. There's something your mom and I want to talk to you about first."

"About what happened in New York City?"

"Do you want to tell him or should I?" Emma asked and Regina shrugged as Emma's hand moved up to rest on her shoulder. "Right," she said under her breath and Regina watched Henry carefully as he moved to sit on the other side of the island while keeping an eye on the milk slowly heating up. "Now I know you're going to have a million questions, but before you ask any of them, I want to explain as best as I can, as best as _we_ can. Your mom and I—"

"You guys are together, aren't you?" Henry cut in. "As if it wasn't obvious before. Are you sure that happened in the city and not, you know, here?"

"Henry—"

"Mom, don't think I haven't seen the way you two have been acting for weeks now. I see the way you two look at each other and the way that you two touch each other. Mom, I even know you were sleeping in Ma's bed the night she took off. I went to find you to borrow some money so I could take Vi out for ice cream, and I found you in there."

Regina opened and closed her mouth, unable to find anything to say to their overly perceptive teenage son. Emma squeezed her shoulder gently before she leaned in a little closer.

"Of course he figured it out before we did, Regina."

"This is why it is best we tell him ourselves," Regina replied in a whisper and Henry watched the two with slight amusement shining in his hazel eyes. "We're together, Henry, and it's very new. We're taking things slow and we would appreciate it if you did not tell anyone else just yet. Especially not your grandparents."

"Don't worry, Moms, I won't say a word," he promised. "So, you're really together then?"

"Yes," Emma and Regina answered.

"Who kissed who first?"

"Henry, that is not an appropriate—"

"We kind of both kissed each other first," Emma replied before Regina could even finish. Regina groaned quietly and Emma just gave her shoulder another gentle squeeze. "So, you're okay with this, kid?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Henry asked. "You two make each other happy, don't you? That's all that matters. That you guys are happy. Are you in love?"

"Henry—"

"Yes," Emma answered and Regina turned to look at her incredulously. "What? We agreed to tell him about us and that's exactly what we're doing."

"Are you guys going to get all gross and weird?" Henry asked with a throaty chuckle and he held his hands up with they both glared at him. "Like, I mean, are you two going to kiss in front of me?"

"Not if we can help it," Regina replied just as Emma dropped a light kiss to Regina's cheek to humor their son. "Emma."

"Well I think it's sweet," Henry said in a matter of fact voice. "You both deserve to be happy and loved. I'm glad it's with each other even if it's going to be gross and weird at times. I love you both and I love that you're together. It's just that no kid ever wants to see their parents making out with someone else, even if it is their other parent. Don't even get me started on sex. You two haven't had sex yet, have you? Oh my god, you so have to buy me better headphones because I don't think I can—"

"Henry!" Emma and Regina said firmly, effectively shutting him up at once.

"That is something rather personal and information neither of us feel comfortable in sharing with you," Regina replied. "But, I will tell you that your mother took me out on a date last night and it was a wonderful night."

"You did?" Henry asked in awe as he stared at Emma. "You actually took Mom out on a date?"

"Yeah, I did, kid," Emma grinned. "Best first date I've ever had and I didn't even get—"

"Finish that and I'll make you go back to your house and endure the wrath of your parents coddling over you," Regina threatened. "I think the milk is about to boil over, Henry."

Henry busied himself with making three cups of hot cocoa while Regina turned on the stool to face Emma. She just shook her head at the look on Emma's face, finding it adorable at how she was trying to play it off as innocent. She resisted the urge to lean up to kiss Emma and instead she slipped off the stool and helped Henry make the hot cocoa just the way that he and Emma liked it best.

They went out back to sit at the patio table. Henry talked about what he'd been doing for the last few days and thankfully avoiding asking them more questions about the changes to their relationship. He asked about New York, about the apartment, excited to make plans to go back before school started up again. Regina sent him to bed after he'd finished his cocoa and she stayed outside with Emma for a little while longer to enjoy the quiet of the night.

"He took it better than I thought he would," Emma said quietly. "I mean, I knew he'd be happy for us and everything, but I didn't think he'd take it that well."

"Aside from the fact that he asked us if we're going to be all gross and weird, I'm not too surprised by his acceptance."

"He knew before we did," Emma mused. "How?"

"He's always been a very perceptive child," Regina replied with a proud smile. "I should've known when he asked me if I loved you what he really meant."

"We can trust him, right? Not to say anything yet to anyone?"

"Yes," Regina said as Emma moved her chair a little closer. "I think he knows without having to be told that this is not something to be taken lightly."

"You've raised him well, Regina."

"Yes, but you have had a hand in it too, Emma."

"Not really."

Regina reached out for Emma's hand and sighed softly. "Yes, you have in little ways, ways that matter, Emma. I saw that more when I looked at those pictures he took while you were in New York for that year. He was happy. He was thriving. He was doing better in school than he ever had before. He had friends."

"He has all that here."

"He does now, but he never did before. You made sure he was happy. That is all on you, Emma."

"You made him happy too, Regina."

"I made him miserable," Regina reminded her. "He hated me for the longest time. I have you to thank for the fact that he no longer feels that way."

"Regina—"

"Our past will always be a complicated one and hard to talk about at times, but we can't just forget the things we've gone through that led us here. If I could change anything, honestly I don't think I would change much at all."

"What would you change?"

Regina laughed softly. "The first night I met you," she whispered. "I would change how that evening went when we had that glass of cider together in the study."

"How?"

"I don't know, maybe I would've have been so terrified of you if I only knew what the future held."

"Would you change anything else?"

"Neverland," Regina replied without thinking. "After Neverland, when I was teaching you magic. I should've made you stick with it, spent more time with you working on harnessing your power, but—"

"Too much happened after that," Emma finished for her. "Am I going to jinx us if I say I kind of miss there being some new crisis or villain to defeat?"

"I certainly hope not. It's been nice not to have to worry that our very lives are in danger."

"Yeah, you're right. It has been nice. Normal, even."

Regina lifted Emma's hand and kissed over her knuckles lightly. "As normal as it'll ever be for us," Regina smiled at her. "Things are going to get better, Emma. All we need to do is take it one day at a time from here on out. Some days are going to be harder than others, but when you think of all we've been through together, what _you've_ been through all your life, it's only made us stronger. Hasn't it? If you can't be strong enough, let me be strong for you."

"You'd do that for me?"

"I'd do anything for you," Regina whispered, her heart full of emotion as she felt Emma's hand tremble. "Anything, Emma."

"Anything?" Emma asked huskily and she tugged on Regina's hand. "Come sit with me."

"I am sitting with you."

"On me," Emma corrected with a wink. "I'm not going to break."

"But Henry—"

"Went to bed," Emma whispered and she tugged on Regina's hand again. "Come on, Regina. We're past the line of friendship now, aren't we?"

"Yes, but—"

"Come sit with me," Emma tried again and Regina rolled her eyes before she allowed herself to be pulled on to Emma's lap, sitting sideways on top of her thighs as Emma's hands encircled her waist. "What started in New York is already changing, isn't it?"

"Emma, we agreed to take this slow."

"And we are. I just—shit, I'm sorry. I'm being clingy. I hate clingy people and I've become the thing I hate."

"Don't apologize," Regina said and she draped an arm over Emma's shoulder and reached up with her other hand to cup her cheek. "I don't mind clingy. I'm still very much getting used to…being yours."

"Mine?"

"Yes," Regina whispered and she stroked a thumb over Emma's flushed cheek. "Just as you are mine, yes?"

"So, are we talking about being exclusive here?" Emma asked with a teasing tone to her voice that made a delightful shiver run down Regina's spine. "Are we?"

"Exclusive?"

"We aren't involved with anyone else other than each other."

"Do you want to be…involved with anyone else?"

"Hell no. Do you?"

"The thought hasn't even crossed my mind."

Emma smiled and leaned in to press her lips to Regina's lightly. The kiss didn't feel as it had when they first crossed over the line with Emma not wearing the cuff, but Regina could still feel that buzz coursing through her body, starting at her lips and where Emma's hands rested on her waist. She slipped her fingers into Emma's hair and deepened the kiss, eliciting a quiet moan past Emma's lips.

It was easy to get lost in the kiss, in Emma, and she did, thoroughly enjoying the way that Emma kissed her. The need, the want, she could feel it completely and it was beginning to drive her insane with lust and arousal.

Regina gasped as Emma's hand moved up her side and brushed against her breast. She could feel her nipples hardening at the slightest graze and she kissed Emma harder. When Emma cupped her breast and ran a thumb over her hardening nipple, she moaned into Emma's mouth before pulling back, her breath spilling out heavily against Emma's lips.

Emma moved her hand slowly up to the back of Regina's neck, pulling her in for another kiss. Regina wanted to be closer to her and her position sitting sideways on her lap only allowed her to lean her body in to Emma very little. She ended the kiss when she felt Emma move her hand to the hem of her shirt, tugging at it to get it out from where it was tucked into her slacks.

"I think," Regina whispered shakily as she pushed Emma's hand away. "I think we should just go to bed, Emma. It's getting late."

"Right."

Regina placed a quick kiss to her lips before sliding off of her lap. She grabbed both of their mugs and headed inside, placing them in the sink quietly. She bit her bottom lip to try and suppress the moan that slipped out as Emma's hands slipped over her hips from behind. This time she didn't stop Emma from tugging at her shirt, releasing it from the top of her slacks with ease.

"Emma…"

Her protest died on her lips when Emma began to kiss along the side of her neck as her hands slipped under Regina's shirt and along her skin lightly. Her heart was pounding hard in her chest as arousal flooded through her body at the feel of Emma's hands on her skin and Emma's lips on her neck with teeth grazing over her pulse point. It is only when she felt Emma's fingers dip into the waistband of her slacks that she pulled away, stammering slightly as she straightened out her shirt.

"Emma, we agreed to take this slow."

"I know, I just—"

"I think we may have to discuss some rules. Boundaries."

"Like what? Where I'm allowed to touch you and where I'm not?"

"Yes."

"You said in New York that I can touch you any time I want to."

"Within reason while taking into account we are taking the…physical aspect of our relationship slow," Regina corrected her. "Above the waist."

"Okay," Emma said with a shake of her head and a soft chuckle. "Over the clothes only then?"

Regina cleared her throat and she could feel her cheeks burning, giving away her answer without having to say a word. Regina just turned back to the sink and turned on the tap to fill the mugs with warm water to soak overnight. Emma's hands were on her hips once more and she bit her bottom lip when she felt Emma's hands slide up her abdomen and lingering just on her ribs below her breasts. Regina leaned back into Emma, feeling Emma's body almost flush against hers. She could feel the heat emanating off of her and it only caused her arousal to heighten.

"Your heart is racing," Emma whispered into her ear, placing a hand over her heart firmly. "Do you like it when I touch you, Regina?" She whispered, her lips brushing over the shell of Regina's ear. "Tell me to stop and I will."

"Emma…"

Emma's hands moved to cup her breasts, her thumbs stroking lightly over her semi-erect nipples, eliciting a moan past her lips she didn't bother to fight. She could feel her clit throbbing with every stroke over her nipples and she clenched her cunt tightly before spinning around and capturing Emma's lips in a wanton kiss. She winced as the cupboards clattered loudly when she pushed Emma back against the counter roughly.

"Emma," she murmured against Emma's lips. "We really do need to go to bed."

"I know," Emma sighed, but they didn't move from their current position. "Separate beds?"

"I think that is best."

"Okay," Emma frowned, the disappointment clear in her voice. "Okay. I'm sorry if I, you know, pushed the boundaries a little bit just now."

"Don't be sorry," Regina replied and she placed a soft, lingering kiss on Emma's lips before stepping back. "Just remember we're taking it slow, Emma," she reminded her and turned on her heels, unable to resist walking away with a slight sway in her hips.

Regina got ready for bed quickly, hoping her nightly routine would take her mind off the burning arousal that continued to flood through her body. She dressed in fresh and clean pajamas, similar to the ones she had worn in New York, and she headed to the bathroom to wash her face clean of her makeup and brush her teeth, passing Emma on the way as Emma breezed out of the bathroom wearing barely anything more than a pair of boy shorts and a white tank top.

Regina debated having a shower and to take care of her arousal under the hot water. She was not one to do such things, but when the situation got dire enough, she'd find her release in a long, hot shower. In the end, she just flipped off the bathroom light and headed to her room. She didn't bother with any lights and she left the door open just a crack before she climbed into her bed for the first time in almost a week.

She tossed and turned for an hour, sleep evading her despite the fact that she was exhausted. She reached out to the other side of the bed several times and found herself frowning at the emptiness there each time. She had gotten so used to sharing a bed with Emma for the past several nights that she couldn't find a shred of peace long enough just to fall asleep.

[X]

Regina walked sluggishly into the kitchen just before six, the house still dark as the sun started to slowly rise outside. She had barely slept and she was on edge, her body tense and a headache was beginning to form at the base of her neck. Again, she'd broken her own rule about pajamas being worn outside of the bedroom, but she didn't care as she padded in her bare feet across the cool tiles in the kitchen to put the coffee on.

Emma didn't look any better than she felt when she walked into the kitchen a few minutes later. Regina looked over at her with a slight frown, but Emma smiled in return as she walked over to her, thankfully wearing pajama bottoms instead of the boy shorts she'd been wearing when Regina had saw her last. Emma just flicked her gaze over Regina's body before she closed the last few steps between them.

"Good morning," Regina whispered, her breath hitching in her chest as Emma effortlessly slipped her arms around her.

"I wouldn't have called it good before, but it is better now," Emma replied. "Good morning."

Regina smiled at her and shook her head lightly. "Are you always so smooth, Emma?"

"I'd like to think I'm charming."

Regina rolled her eyes. "Of course," she chuckled. "How did you sleep?"

"I didn't. You?"

"Not well," Regina replied honestly.

"Is Henry up yet?"

"No," she chuckled. "It's summer vacation. He's a teenager. I'd be surprised if he woke up before noon."

"Right."

Regina watched Emma lick over her bottom lip before dipping her head in for a light and lingering kiss. She could feel Emma's fingers flexing over her lower back as Emma pulled her in closer and deepened the kiss with ease. Regina kissed her hungrily, reveling in the feel of Emma's lips and tongue against her own. Her mind was spinning as wave after wave of arousal coursed through her body and flashes of what it would be like to feel Emma's hands roam freely over her body with no obstructions only caused her to kiss her harder.

When Emma slipped a hand down to grasp at her behind, Regina couldn't hold back the moan even if she'd tried. It caused her mind to spin even more wildly so, bringing forth visions of them taking one another right there in the kitchen. The thought made her sink her fingers into Emma's hair, holding her close to continue their passionate kiss until their lungs were bursting, desperate for a breath.

The smell of the freshly brewed coffee filled the air in the kitchen and Regina pulled back, just a hairsbreadth from Emma's lips to take a deep breath, feeling Emma do the same with a smile curling over her lips. This is what had been missing in her life, the passion that she felt with only Emma, the connection, though dulled by the cuff on Emma's wrist, that pulled her in to her in ways she'd never gave in to before.

It was so easy to get lost in kissing Emma, so easy to forget what had led them to where they were in that moment, so easy to forget the struggle that Emma had been going through for months on an end, and easy to forget that she still had a long way to go to get back to where she'd once been, to get better. Sober. For good. Forever.

There was a thump and a groan and it took Regina a few seconds to realize it had come from neither of them. She pulled back from Emma's lips, her eyes going wide when she saw their son standing awkwardly in the kitchen doorway with his mouth slightly agape.

"Sorry," Henry muttered, looking everywhere but at them. "I just came down to get a glass of water," he said quickly before rushing to the refrigerator and opened the door.

"He'll probably sleep 'til noon, my ass," Emma muttered under her breath as Regina stepped out of her embrace and wipe at her lips.

"Good morning, Henry," she said nervously as she reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "Did you just come for a glass of water or are you up for the day?"

"Water," he muttered before he pulled out a bottle and waved it at her. "I was up late."

"How late?" Emma asked, unfazed by the fact he had walked in on them sharing a rather passionate kiss. "Kid?"

"Late enough," Henry replied with a roll of his eyes. "What? It's not like I have to be anywhere today," he said upon Regina's disappointed look. "I'm just going to go back to bed for a little while longer, if that's okay?"

"Of course, dear."

Henry just nodded and quickly darted out of the kitchen. Regina sighed and ran a hand over the tension that coiled in the back of her neck while Emma walked over to the cupboard to pull out two clean mugs.

"Yeah, that wasn't awkward at all," Emma muttered under her breath as she placed the mugs on the counter beside the coffee machine. "Did you see his face? I couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or mortified."

"Likely both," Regina sighed softly. "Perhaps in the future we need to take more care in being aware where our son is at all times. Even when he is supposed to be sleeping."

"Hey, you okay?" Emma asked after she'd poured the coffee. "Regina?"

"I'm fine," she replied quietly. "It was just highly awkward to be caught by our son."

"It's bound to happen," Emma replied with a slight shrug. "Are you not okay with that?"

"Emma, we're in a relationship. As you said, it's bound to happen. In time, I suppose, it'll be different, but right now, it's all still so very new and even though Henry said he is happy for us, I'm not so sure how he truly feels now that he's seen us kissing."

"He'll just have to get over it," Emma replied with a light smile. "You know why? Because I love kissing you, Regina, and nothing is going to stop me from kissing you whenever I want."

"Whenever you want, hmm?"

Emma grinned as she closed the distance between them and pressed a light kiss to Regina's slightly parted lips. "Yes, you did tell me I could, remember?"

"How could I ever forget?"

"Do you want to do something later? After my session with Dr. Hopper?" Emma asked, suddenly moving away from her to retrieve the milk from the refrigerator. "I'm sure the session is going to be a long one, seeing how I took off and everything, but do you want to do something later, just the two of us?"

"A date?" Regina asked and Emma suddenly grew shy as she nodded her head. Regina smiled and nodded. "Of course."

"It's a date then."


	9. Chapter 9

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, they settled back into a routine, one starkly different than it had been before. After the first night they were back in Storybrooke, that first sleepless night, they came to an unspoken agreement to sleep in the same bed, Regina's bed, from that moment on. Their dates were mostly confined to private dinners at the house while Henry was sent off to hang out with his friends or to have dinner with his grandparents.

Emma continued to have her daily sessions with Dr. Hopper, but over the last week she had been going to his office, needing a change of scenery she'd told Regina the first afternoon she left to go to her session. Emma had been doing increasingly better and Regina noticed the many changes in her since their return from New York City. It was almost as if the heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders, not completely, but enough that she no longer seemed to be struggling as she had been before.

Regina returned to work, just a few days a week for a few hours at a time, mostly during the times Emma had her sessions with Dr. Hopper. The paperwork was piling up, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. She barely realized how much time she spent at the house until she ran into Ruby Lucas one afternoon on the way from the office to meet Emma outside of Dr. Hopper's office before they took a walk down to the harbor together.

"Regina, hey," Ruby said with a smile and a wave as she jogged across the street to catch up to her. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Miss. Lucas. You?"

"Great, just out for a jog, taking myself for a walk, if you will," she grinned and winked before she wiped at her brow with the back of her hand. "I haven't seen you around much. Is everything all right?"

"Everything is fine," Regina replied and she came to a stop just at the door to Dr. Hopper's office. "Why are you concerned, Miss. Lucas?"

"Because Emma is one of my friends and I haven't seen her since she was in the hospital almost two months ago. She won't return my calls or my texts. I'm just concerned, that's all. Snow told me she's been staying with you."

"Yes, she's been staying with Henry and I."

"How is she?"

"Ask her for yourself," Regina replied when she felt the familiar pull of her connection to Emma begin to grow stronger in the seconds before the door opened and Emma walked out onto the street.

"Em, hey!" Ruby smiled and Emma smiled back, allowing Ruby to hug her tightly. "How are you?"

"Good," Emma replied. "You?"

"Great," Ruby nodded and her smile faded. "I've been calling. It's been a while since we've talked. How come you're ignoring me?"

"I'm not…ignoring you," Emma sighed. "I keep meaning to call you back. I'm sorry."

Emma offered no excuses, made up ones or otherwise. Regina smoothed her hands over her light blue sundress she'd opted to wear that day, something she'd never get caught dead in before, but Emma had commented on how beautiful it was on her so she'd decided to wear it somewhere else other than at the house.

Regina hung back as Ruby and Emma started to walk down the street and she listened to their conversation. Emma's tone was light, but slightly clipped, and Regina could hear the tiredness in her voice whenever she spoke. She knew how drained Emma could get after some particularly heavy sessions with Dr. Hopper, but Ruby clearly didn't know nor did she notice that her friend wasn't in the mood for a conversation with her.

"What do you say?" Ruby asked and Regina took a few steps closer to them as they came to a stop on the corner just across the street from the diner. "Come over tonight? We can catch up, I'll order pizza, and we can watch stupid movies together?"

"I—I can't," Emma stammered. "Regina and I have plans."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Emma nodded and she fidgeted with the cutoffs she was wearing, idly pulling at the pieces that were frayed. "Another time, Ruby."

Emma missed the look of realization on Ruby's face, but Regina certainly didn't. Regina just shot a glare at Ruby with a subtle shake of her head before turning her attention to Emma, a smile softening her features when she realized that Emma was smiling at her.

"How did your session go?"

"Less heavy than the last one," Emma replied. "You want to stop and get some ice cream? Henry texted me like ten minutes ago and asked if we wanted to join him."

"That sounds nice," Regina smiled right back at her. "Have a good day, Miss. Lucas."

"I'll call you later?" Emma said to Ruby before she casually linked an arm with Regina's and led them down the street towards Any Given Sundae.

"How did your session really go?" Regina asked once they were across the street and away from Ruby. "Emma?"

"It was rough," she whispered. "Ice cream might help."

Regina nodded and she inhaled sharply as Emma moved to take a hand in hers. For weeks they'd been careful not to show any sign that they were more than just friends, careful not to touch one another when they were outside the house. Regina glanced around to see if anyone was watching them, but anyone out on the street that afternoon were too focused on going about their day to notice the Savior and the former Evil Queen holding hands.

"Would you rather just go home?" Regina asked and Emma shook her head no.

"Henry's waiting for us," she said, hooking a thumb over her shoulder at the ice cream parlor. Emma started to walk, but Regina didn't budge. Emma turned back to her with a frown. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Regina said with a shake of her head, but she slipped her hand out of Emma's and forced a smile. "Let's go have ice cream with our son."

The ice cream parlor was packed as it was a hot summer day. Henry was hanging out by the counter with his friends and his girlfriend. Regina noticed right away that they were holding hands and she nudged at Emma's shoulder and motioned for her to look at Henry and Violet. Emma smirked and shook her head before reaching for Regina's elbow to lead her through the crowd to join their son at the counter.

"Hey kid," Emma said as she casually draped an arm over his shoulders and he jumped, letting go of Violet's hand quickly. "Having fun?"

"Sure Ma, plenty of fun is being had," he replied with a sarcastic eye roll. "I ordered for you and Mom, but the orders are pretty backed up."

Regina looked back at the woman, Crystal, who had taken over the shop after Ingrid's death. The young woman looked entirely overwhelmed as she tried to man the counter on her own. Emma seemed to notice it too and she made her way over to the entrance behind the counter and pulled an apron off the wall.

"Need some help?" She offered to the overwhelmed young woman who just nodded her head gratefully. "What do you need me to do, Crystal?"

"The rocky road keeps selling out and I'm running out. I keep going back to get more, but I'm afraid it's gone or if there is any more, I can't find it."

"Go," Emma said and she scanned her eyes over the orders tacked along the shelf over the two-dozen tubs of ice cream. "I'll get these orders filled while you look for more."

Regina stood to the side, watching as Emma effortlessly filled each order one after the other, barely breaking a sweat as she did it all with a smile plastered on her face. Regina felt nothing but admiration for Emma Swan in that moment, the way she so selflessly pushed through a rough afternoon after a session with Dr. Hopper to help someone else who clearly needed a hand.

As the orders were filled and the crowd inside the parlor began to thin out, Emma served their son and his friends before she hung up the apron once Crystal had returned with the last tub of rocky road ice cream.

"You got everyone?" Crystal looked baffled as she switched the empty tub for the full one. "Seriously, you just saved my afternoon from becoming even worse, Emma. Thank you."

"Glad I could help, Crystal," Emma smiled.

"What do I owe you?"

"A large cup of rocky road on the house is good enough for me. Two spoons too, please," Emma replied and Crystal just laughed, still baffled, as she grabbed one of the large containers and filled it, placing two spoons into the soft ice cream before she handed it over to Emma. "You might want to hire someone part-time to help out, especially during the summer."

"Yeah, I should, shouldn't I?"

"Henry could do it," Emma offered and Henry looked over at the two of them with wide eyes. "Your busiest time is late afternoon, right? A few hours a day."

"How about it, Henry?" Crystal asked him. "Your friends can have one cone on the house every afternoon and they'd be more than welcome to hang out while you work."

"Really?" Henry asked and he shrugged as he looked over at his friends and his girlfriend, who all gave him an encouraging smile and a nod. "Sure, I can do it."

"Look at it this way too, kid," Emma said as she handed Regina the cup of ice cream and slung an arm around his shoulders. "You'll make some cash on top of your allowance and you'll be able to take Vi out on dates without having to worry about not having enough cash."

"Ma…" Henry groaned. "Stop embarrassing me."

"Yes Emma, stop embarrassing our son," Regina chuckled. "I think it will be a good opportunity for you, Henry. It's only for a few hours a day."

"Yeah," he said with a small smile and looked over at Crystal while pushing Emma's arm off his shoulders. "When can I start?"

"How about Monday? Two o'clock? That'll give you the weekend to reconsider."

"Sounds good. I'll see you then, Crystal."

Regina headed for a table that emptied and secured a seat before two teenagers clearly on a date could get it for themselves. She smirked at the two before Emma swept in to take the chair across the table from her. She placed the cup of rocky road on the middle of the table, shifting her focus to Emma as Emma grabbed one of the spoons and dug in.

Regina knew she only got the second spoon as to not look like she was having so much to herself. Regina picked up the other spoon and took a small bit of the ice cream, watching Emma watching her as she took a bite. She deliberately made show of licking the spoon slowly, watching the reaction it pulled out of Emma.

The past couple of weeks had been hard, hard only because every time things got a little too hot and heavy between them, Regina always ended up being the one that put a stop before it went too far. She worried endlessly that Emma wasn't stable enough to enter into a sexual relationship with her, that she still wasn't ready despite how many times her hands had wandered freely over her body needlessly. All she wanted was for Emma to get through the hardest parts of her recovery before she moved on to the next phase of her life, a life without the urge to turn to drugs to dull the things she felt every day.

Sometimes it was hard to imagine that it had only just been two months prior that Regina had found out about Emma's drug addiction, that she had found Emma nearly dead not once, but twice in just a handful of days apart. She thought about those moments often, and thinking about all they had been through since then brought emotions to the surface she didn't always know how to deal with.

Emma had her moments, she had her bad days where she spent the entire day cooped up in what had become her room, emerging only to use the bathroom or to eat at Regina or Henry's urging. Other days were relatively normal, or as normal as things could be given the current situation. Emma's laughter, her smiles, they came easier on those days. Regina never pushed her to voice her feelings or to talk about what was going through her head on any given day, always allowing Emma to talk to her if she wanted to and needed to, always hoping that at the end of the day she was the one Emma turned to for comfort and reassurance.

"Moms?" Henry said as he approached the table, pulling Regina from her thoughts and her gaze away from Emma's lingering one. "Nick's dad is going camping this weekend. Would it be okay if I went with them? All the guys are going. It's not far, just out in the north end of the woods, by the creek? We're going to go fishing."

"I don't see why not," Regina replied and she looked back over at Emma. "Would that be all right with you, Emma?"

"Sure," Emma shrugged. "We'll talk to Michael about it later, confirm some of the details."

"Ma, it's not far, and I'll have my phone with me. It's only for a few days."

"We still have to talk to Michael," Emma replied. "Are you going to need anything for this trip, kid? A tent? Fishing gear?"

"Grandpa is going to lend me his," Henry said with a shrug and upon the incredulous look from both of his mother's, he sighed. "What? He was there when Nick asked me and he offered to let me use the tent and the fishing gear. If he can talk Grandma into coming, he's going to be there too, so you don't have to worry, Moms, everything is going to be fine."

"We're always going to worry about you no matter how old you are, Henry," Regina said with a small smile.

"Right. It's a part of our job," Emma added. "Get used to it, kid, because that's never going to change."

"Good," Henry smiled before he hugged Emma tightly then moved to hug Regina just as tight and for just as long. "I love you guys."

"Okay kid," Emma chuckled before she spooned a mouthful of ice cream into her mouth and swallowed hard. "What else do you want?"

Regina watched as Henry shifted awkwardly and turned to look back at his girlfriend and friends that were hanging on the other side of the parlor, chatting quietly. Regina knew that look all too well by now and she looked at Emma insistently since she hadn't bothered to bring along her purse.

"I kind of need an advance on my allowance," Henry whispered. "Can I borrow a twenty? I uh, I want to take Violet out to the movies tonight and I'm about…eighteen dollars short."

"Hen, I told you when we went to the comic book store not to buy so many comics," Emma chuckled and she stood up a little off the chair and pulled out a few bills from the back pocket of her cutoff shorts. "You aren't getting your allowance next week, so consider this an advance. Make it last."

"Thanks Ma!" Henry grinned and he pocketed the three twenties into the front pocket of his jean shorts before returning to his friends.

"Did you just give our son sixty dollars?" Regina asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"His allowance is twenty a week firm."

"Give the kid a break, Regina. Let him impress his girl for once, treat her right."

"I still don't think I'm ready for this," Regina said quietly. "For him to be dating. We need to talk to him about…sex. Safe sex."

"I've already talked to him about it," Emma replied as she leaned forward. "Don't worry, Regina. He's a good kid. He's not just going to jump into having sex with Vi before they're both ready."

"He is fourteen, he is not having sex!" Regina hissed and Emma reached out to place a hand over hers on the table in an attempt to calm her down. "No. No."

"Regina, calm down. Henry already told me they're not even close to that right now," Emma said quietly and she leaned forward a little more. "You don't need to worry."

"I will always worry."

"I know," Emma smiled and she gave Regina's hand a gentle squeeze before letting go. She leaned back in her chair and took another few bites of the ice cream before a sly smile curled over her lips. "Henry is going to be gone the entire weekend," she said lowly, the din in the ice cream parlor providing them a little privacy for their conversation.

"Yes, and?"

"And I was thinking maybe we could, I dunno, do something special this weekend?"

Regina's throat went dry at the suggestive look Emma gave her in that moment. She was used to being on the receiving end of those very looks as of late, but she still blushed each and every single time, and she felt that intoxicating rush of arousal throughout her body she could hardly contain.

"What are you thinking?" Regina whispered, wishing they were at home to have this very conversation and not within earshot of a handful of teenagers that still lingered in the shop. "Date night?"

"Date weekend," Emma corrected. "What do you say?"

"Okay."

"Okay?" Emma grinned and it was a smile Regina had been longing to see for longer than she cared to remember. "It's a date, Regina."

"Yes. A date."

[X]

The morning after Henry left with David to join Michael, Nicholas and their small group of friends on a weekend camping/fishing trip, Regina found herself compulsively cleaning the already spotless kitchen while Emma slept in far too late as she tended to do on Saturday mornings.

Or any morning after she'd had a particularly rough session with Dr. Hopper.

Regina could feel the ever-familiar nagging feeling of a tension headache building as she wiped down the cupboards vigorously. She stepped down off the step stool and tossed the wet cloth into the sink filled with the cleaning solution and wiped her hands on the jeans she'd "borrowed" from Emma that morning. She rubbed at the back of her neck and groaned quietly before retrieving the bottle of aspirin from the cupboard and swallowing two of the pills dry.

Regina went running out of the kitchen and up the stairs the very second she heard the strangled cry coming from the bedroom. Emma's nightmares weren't happening as often, but when they did, they hit her harder than ever before. Regina burst into her bedroom—their bedroom—and found Emma writhing under the sheets, groaning as if she was in pain as she clawed at the sheets that covered most of her body. Regina crawled into the bed and tore back the sheets before pulling Emma close to her.

"Shh," she murmured as she gathered Emma into her arms, half pulling her into her lap and rubbing a hand over her back. "Emma, wake up. It's just a dream."

Emma moaned and grasped at her arms, struggling to wake up as sweat covered her body and made her clothes stick to her skin. Regina just continued to rub her hand over her back and used the other to push back the hair that stuck to her forehead as she coaxed her awake.

"Emma, darling, wake up," Regina tried again, her voice calm and gentle, her breath falling over Emma's face as she traced a single finger along her cheek and jaw.

"Fuck," Emma groaned, her eyes blinking rapidly as her tense body relaxed in Regina's embrace. "Regina?"

"It's me. It's okay. It was just a dream."

Emma shifted awkwardly until she sat up and leaned back against the headboard with Regina. She lifted her hands and ran her fingers through her hair, groaning quietly before she slumped down and frowned deeply.

"Just a dream," Emma repeated under her breath. "Felt real enough."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Emma just stared off into the distance, focusing on a spot on the wall in on the other side of the room. A few minutes passed, Regina wasn't sure how many, but when Emma turned to her, she felt a rush pulse through her.

"Yes," Emma whispered. "I want to talk about it."

Regina was nothing but patient with Emma as she turned to look at her, watching the flood of emotions show so very clearly on her face despite her obvious struggle to contain everything she was feeling in that moment. Regina slid a hand under Emma's and intertwined their fingers, offering up a small smile when Emma turned to look at her for the briefest of moments.

"I wish I could pretend it's not as hard as it is," Emma said with a shake of her head. "I wish I could tell you that all of this is working, that I can…stay clean forever, that I can just forget how _it_ made me feel."

Regina rubbed a thumb over Emma's, not knowing what to say while knowing not saying anything at all and just listening was all that Emma needed in that moment. Emma exhaled shakily and slipped her hand free before moving to curl up to Regina's side, their arms finding their way around one another easily.

"I was so stupid," Emma whispered, her breath tickling along Regina's neck. "I thought there was something there, something real. It was all a lie. All along. A lie. A trick. I was played. Played by a fucking pirate. I don't know why I feel so guilty, Regina, but I do."

"It's okay."

"Is it?" Emma scoffed. "It's not okay, Regina. It's not. He used me. He _used_ me and manipulated me into feeling the way I feel, into using me to be incapable to rid myself of everything _he_ made me feel. It isn't okay, Regina. It's never going to be okay," Emma sobbed and Regina just tightened her hold on Emma and let her cry in her arms. "It's never going to be okay."

"It will one day," Regina whispered against the side of her head and she inhaled sharply, holding back her own tears. "It will be okay one day, Emma. You're doing so good. So good. Don't fall back again, please."

"Will you catch me even when I fall over and over again, Regina?"

"Always," she whispered without thinking twice. "Always, my love. Always."

"I'm not good enough for you, Regina."

"No," Regina whispered and she pulled Emma until they were face to face. "Never think that way ever again, Emma Swan. Our pasts are complicated, wretched even, but I like to believe you are the reason I became better. You are good enough for me. Too good in ways you don't realize and refuse to believe."

"I am?"

"Yes," Regina smiled as a few tears fell from the corner of her eyes and rolled down her cheeks hotly. "You are the reason I am who I am today. Don't doubt it," she said and she placed a kiss to Emma's forehead. "Don't doubt it and don't ever forget what you truly mean to me. You are…everything to me."

"Show me."

"Emma…" Regina's breath hitched in her chest as Emma moved to straddle her waist, her movement fluid despite the state she was in. "I thought we agree to take this slow?"

"We've been taking it slow for the past month, even longer when you think about it. Regina," Emma whispered and she paused as she moved to cup Regina's face with her hands. "I want you. It's all I think about now. Every time I kiss you, all I want is to—"

"Emma no," Regina cut her off, frowning when Emma's hands fell away abruptly. "When the time is right and that time is not now."

"When will we know when the time is right?"

"We just will," Regina whispered. Emma still sat astride her and neither made an attempt to move. Regina ran her hands over the top of Emma's thighs while holding her gaze and she nudged at her gently before Emma moved to lay beside her. "Every time I kiss you, that's all I want too," Regina admitted. "Believe me, that's all I can think about."

"I talked to Dr. Hopper about this yesterday."

"You talked to him about us?"

"No, no I haven't said a word about us to him, Regina," Emma said in a rush and she moved to lay on her side. "I talked to him about…how I haven't felt this…horny in a long time, not since…before."

"And what did he say?"

Emma laughed and shook her head. "He was a little embarrassed, but he told me that it's my body's way of saying it's healing, recovering. That's a good thing."

"Yes," Regina nodded. "It definitely is. And just how do you plan on dealing with this?"

"Well I was hoping you'd give me a hand," Emma replied cheekily. "But that's obviously out of the question because you want to wait."

"We both agreed—"

"I remember what we agreed to, Regina," Emma sighed and she reached out to splay her hand along the middle of Regina's abdomen. "When can I get this taken off?" Emma asked as they both looked down at the cuff on her wrist as Emma's fingers danced over Regina's abdomen lightly. "I'm ready."

"Are you?"

Emma nodded. "Yes. Do you know what I've been holding on to since we got back? I've been holding on to that feeling I felt when we kissed. I could feel our magic, Regina, our connection, but I felt something else too. I want to feel that again."

"One condition," Regina said and she wet her dry lips.

"Anything."

"If you feel like it's too much, like you cannot stay in control of yourself, you need to tell me and the cuff will go back on."

"I wasn't addicted to magic, Regina."

"Do you agree or not, Emma?"

"Yes. I agree," she said and she lifted her hand with a small smile. "I promise. If I can't stay in control or feel like I'm losing control, I'll be the one to put it back on myself."

Regina ran her fingers over the leather cuff, swallowing thickly as she removed it. Emma inhaled sharply and gasped as her magic, both light and dark, flooded through her body. Regina could feel it and it was almost electrifying as she placed the cuff on the bed beside her and leaned in to kiss Emma softly on the lips.

"What did you dream of, Emma?" Regina asked and Emma sighed as they just lay side by side and stared into one another's eyes.

"How it used to feel," Emma whispered. "How for those few minutes everything felt good and then how the world just came crashing back down all at once. I dreamt of being there again," she sighed and shook her head. "Do you dream of it too?"

"Sometimes."

"But it doesn't scare you? It doesn't make you feel guilty?"

"Sometimes," Regina whispered. "We can't change the past, Emma. We can't change what choices we made that shaped the path our lives took. We can't change what we dream of, but we can change what we fear."

"How?"

Regina sighed and lifted a hand to brush aside Emma's hair that had fallen over her eyes. "When you dream of things you fear, do you run?"

"What else are you supposed to do?"

"Face them."

Emma inhaled slowly and closed her eyes. "It's easier when you're here."

Regina smiled and wrapped her arms around Emma. "It's easier when you're here too," she whispered into her hair and sighed contently as Emma snuggled against her. "Do you want to go back to sleep for a little while, Emma?"

"Will you stay?"

"Yes."

"Are those my jeans?" Emma laughed as she lifted her head to look at Regina.

"Yes," Regina chuckled.

"If you wanted to get into my pants, all you have to do is ask," Emma smirked and Regina just shook her head as Emma settled back down against her. "I hate being so tired all the time, Regina."

"One day you won't be anymore," Regina replied. "Maybe that'll be tomorrow or next week. That day will come, Emma."

"Sometime I feel like it is getting easier. Sometimes I feel like I did two months ago when I first woke up in the hospital and all I want, all I crave is that rush. Nothing else feels like that and I keep thinking nothing else ever will."

They'd had this conversation before, many times over the past few weeks. Regina never knew what to say, never knew how to comfort Emma, always just listening to her because it was all that she could do. But something felt different that morning and it wasn't just the fact that Emma was stroking a hand over her abdomen and stirring that lust from deep within. And it wasn't the fact that she could truly feel Emma's magic flowing through her and through their connection. It was something more.

"But," Emma breathed out softly, her fingertips dipping underneath the hem of Regina's t-shirt and she stroked her fingers along her skin, eliciting a sensual shiver through Regina's entire body. "That night we came home, when we crossed the town line, when we kissed. That felt better than anything I'd ever felt before."

"Just better?"

"Amazing," Emma murmured and she began to place light, lingering kisses along Regina's neck. "I want to feel that again, Regina."

Regina moaned as Emma's hand slipped further up her abdomen, her fingers brushing lightly just below the edge of her bra. Regina pulled her in for a crushing kiss, the intensity of their magic and their connection so powerful it made the world feel as if just for that moment it had stopped spinning. Emma pushed her hand those last few inches, cupping her hard and Regina arched into her touch, her whole body craving more.

She moved to straddle Emma's thighs, kissing her deeper, harder. She could feel her nipples hardening, straining against the soft material of her bra. Emma rolled her hips upwards as she slipped her hand out from under Regina's shirt and grasped tightly on to Regina's hips, pulling her down hard. Regina was pulsing, aching, and she slipped a thigh between Emma's, both of them groaning as they started to move against one another.

Her heart was racing in time to the throbbing of her clit as Emma pressed a thigh harder against her. She could feel her arousal coating her panties and she had no doubt that Emma was just as wet as she was. Emma's hands slipped from her hips to her ass and Regina moaned, panting hard as she broke away from the kiss. Regina leaned back, her hips stilling as she took a second to look at Emma, face flushed, lips swollen, eyes shining with lust and desire.

Emma caught her off guard, rolling them around until she landed on top. Regina groaned as Emma continued to roll her hips against the thigh between her legs. Regina pulled her down for another crushing kiss and she gasped when she felt Emma's hand move between her legs and cup her cunt possessively. The need to feel more was overpowering and Regina trembled with desire as she moved her hands to the buttons on her borrowed jeans and deftly flicked the button open.

Regina reached for Emma's wrist and lightly wrapped her fingers around it, guiding in inside the tight jeans but not under the barrier of her panties. Emma gasped and trailed her fingers down over Regina's cunt, their kiss slowing, almost stopping completely as Emma's fingers slipped lower.

A small gasp escaped past her lips as Emma circled a single finger over her throbbing clit. She knew they should've stopped before it got that far, but her mind was clouded with her heightened desire and the need to feel more, to find some release.

"Can I…touch you?"

"You're touching me," Regina moaned as Emma's fingers continued to circle over her clit in a slow but tantalizing rhythm.

"I want to feel how wet you are."

"Emma—"

The hard press of Emma's lips against hers cut her off before she could say another word and she moaned, her body shaking as Emma's hand slipped under her panties. She gripped on to Emma's arms and she arched her back as Emma's fingers slipped through wet folds. She suddenly came to her senses and placed a hand over Emma's, stilling her fingers just as she teased the tip of one over her hole.

"Emma," Regina moaned as she pulled back from her lips. "Emma, stop."

"Regina, shit, I'm sorry," Emma groaned, but she didn't pull her hand out yet stilled her fingers completely. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. I should've stopped."

"It's my fault," Regina shuddered and she let go of Emma's hand. "I shouldn't have—"

"I shouldn't have either," Emma sighed and she moved to lay at Regina's side. "God, I can't control myself around you sometimes. I'm trying, but it's so fucking hard, Regina."

Regina closed her eyes and licked over her kiss-swollen lips as she buttoned her jeans up and smoothed her hands over her abdomen, trying and failing to catch her breath and calm down.

"One more month, Emma," she said as she turned to look at her. "Just wait one more month before we take that step."

"It's going to be impossible," Emma groaned and she pulled a pillow over her face. Regina shook her head and pulled it away from her. "It's going to be fucking impossible."

"No," Regina said and she traced a finger over Emma's jaw. "Just hard, not impossible."

"One more month?" Emma asked after a few minutes passed. "Okay."

"Okay? You're willing to wait another month?"

"Regina, I'm willing to wait forever if that's what it takes," Emma said sincerely. "It's just going to be impossibly hard because all I can think about is how much I want you."

"Emma—"

"I'm sorry," she frowned. "We'll wait. One more month. As hard as it is going to be, we'll deal, won't we? I mean, we've made it this far without fucking—making love," Emma stammered over her words. "We can wait another month."

Regina sat up and turned to look down at Emma. After what had just transpired, she wasn't sure she could wait another month to be with Emma, to feel her fingers and her lips all over her body. It had been so long since she'd been touched so intimately and now that she had only a small taste of what would come when the next month had passed, she wasn't sure how she'd make it without wanting to fuck Emma senseless every time they so much as just looked at one another.

"Hey," Emma said as she reached out to her. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going back downstairs, Emma."

"I thought you were going to stay here with me while I slept a little longer?" Emma asked with a frown. "Or I guess I could just get up. Any plans for today, Regina?"

"No," she said and moved to get up from the bed. "Just a quiet Saturday, I suppose. I was thinking of baking later if you'd like to join me?"

"Will you teach me how to make those turnovers? Minus the poisoned apple, of course."

Regina laughed and nodded her head, reaching out for Emma's hand to pull her out of bed. "Of course I can teach you," Regina smiled. "Perhaps tonight we can watch a movie together?"

"Can I pick?"

"Not from Henry's collection," Regina replied and she playfully poked at Emma as Emma rolled her eyes. "But yes, you can pick tonight. Something we don't watch with Henry."

"Like porn?"

"Emma."

"Fine," Emma chuckled and she slipped an arm around Regina's waist as they walked out of the bedroom together. "No porn. You're no fun."

"That is not true."

Emma placed a kiss to her cheek before pulling away as the passed the bathroom. "Yeah, you're right. You are fun. Sometimes," she said with a wink before she disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

Regina moved to brace herself against the wall, letting out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding since Emma had walked into the bathroom. Her whole body trembled and she placed a hand over her lower abdomen, just faintly feeling the throb between her thighs as she remembered how good Emma's fingers had felt.

A month was going to be impossible. Absolutely impossible.


	10. Chapter 10

Regina waited for the other shoe to drop and for two weeks everything seemed to be going smoothly, a little too smoothly. Emma was back to work at the station, just a few hours a day, mostly doing paperwork and the occasional booking and Regina had gone back almost full-time to working at her office instead of at home. Paperwork was piling up, meetings that had been postponed were being held every spare moment she managed to find throughout the day, yet she still found the time to go home for lunch.

On that particular Tuesday, she could feel the rage before she even left the office, the force of it growing more powerful as she made her way home. She'd found it a bit unusual that Emma hadn't text her throughout the morning as she normally did, but she'd been so busy she'd barely noticed until she left the office.

Regina parked in the driveway beside Emma's car and the feeling she'd felt since shortly before she left the office intensified tenfold. Regina left her briefcase in the car and headed straight into the house and the moment she opened the door, she heard a crash coming from upstairs.

Regina dropped her keys in the dish on the table near the front door and sprinted up the steps into the foyer. Upon hearing another crash, she didn't bother with running up the stairs and instead she just focused for a moment and with a wave of her hand she transported herself to her and Emma's bedroom. She narrowly managed to duck out of the way of a flying boot and she rushed forward as Emma spun around, ready to throw the crystal flower vase she'd grabbed off the dresser in the seconds after the boot had gone flying past Regina's head.

"Emma."

"Fuck!" Emma screamed and Regina used magic as Emma threw the vase to stop it from hitting the wall and shattering into a million tiny little pieces.

"Emma," Regina tried again, remaining calm despite how scared she was of what Emma was feeling in that moment because she could feel it too through their connection. "Emma, stop."

"Do you know how hard it is sometimes, Regina?" Emma panted as she roughly ran her fingers through her hair. "I was just—fuck!" She screamed, grabbing the first object closest to her which was a small magnified mirror that sat on the edge of the dresser. Regina couldn't move quick enough and she winced as it hit the wall by the door and shattered.

"You were just what, Emma?" Regina asked, remaining as calm as she could despite her emotions playing off the vibes she was getting from Emma, ones that made the darkness deep within her begin to stir. "Emma? Talk to me."

Regina flinched with the first punch to the wall Emma took and she stepped forward with the second and stopped her before she could punch it a third time, the drywall already cracked and pieces falling to the floor.

"Emma?" Regina tried again as she soothingly ran her hands up and down her arms as she pulled her away from the wall. "Emma, what's wrong? Talk to me. Please?"

"I—I can't," Emma trembled. "I thought I could do this, but I'm not fucking strong enough, Regina. I'm not strong enough."

"Talk to me," she repeated for a third time. "What's going on, Emma?"

"Oh god," Emma moaned as she pulled back from Regina's hold and took in the state of their bedroom as if she was just seeing it for the first time.

Clothes were everywhere, one of the lamps on the bedside table had been knocked off, the shade broken, not one, not two, but three holes in the walls where she had put her fist through were as clear as day and some of Regina's jewelry was scattered on the floor by the dresser. Regina barely paid any notice to it, knowing with a sweep of her hand and a simple spell she could restore the room back to the way it was before in an instant.

This wasn't about her or the state of their room and their things; it was about Emma and what she was going through in that very moment, in understanding that what she was going through just wasn't going to go away with a flip of a switch or a single touch or loving words of hope and encouragement.

"Emma?"

Emma backed away, her fingers flexing, her magic bursting from her suddenly and a flame sprouted in the middle of the duvet, a flame Regina quickly extinguished. Regina reached out for her once again, but Emma pushed her away, shaking and trembling as she backed up to the wall just a few feet behind her.

Regina watched, feeling helpless, as Emma sank to the floor, her back sliding along the wall, her whole body shaking as she fisted her hands in her hair in frustration, in anger. She gave Emma a few moments before she took a few steps towards her and knelt down on the floor in front of her, a tentative hand reaching out for one of Emma's shaking hands, almost afraid of how Emma would react in the heat of the moment.

"Emma, talk to me," Regina whispered. "Please."

"It's too hard."

"What is?"

"Fighting this," Emma sobbed and she grasped on to Regina's hand tightly. "I can't."

"You can."

"Regina, I can't," Emma murmured as Regina pulled her to her knees and wrapped her arms tightly around her. "I can't."

"You can," she repeated. "You can and you will. Please. Talk to me. What sparked this, Emma? What pushed you to the edge?"

Regina closed her eyes tightly when she felt Emma ball up her fists in her navy blue blouse and hold her closer. With every breath, she could feel each shake, each shudder, each lingering moment where Emma was on the verge of giving up but on the edge of holding on at the same time.

Regina could feel Emma's hot tears on her neck as Emma buried her face there, holding on even tighter almost as if she was too afraid to let go. Regina held on even when her knees ached and she felt unsteady. She moved to sit against the wall, pulling Emma with her gently until Emma was practically on her lap.

"Emma?" Regina whispered as she ran her fingers through Emma's hair.

"I had a stupid argument with David," Emma muttered lowly. "Over paperwork. I started to think how every time that used to happen, I'd find a way to just…escape, one way or another, and it was too much, Regina. I—I haven't had cravings like that for weeks."

"It's all right," Regina said as she continued to stroke her fingers through Emma's hair.

"It's not," Emma said with a shake of her head. "I almost left again. I almost left, drove off to Portland to hunt down the guy I used to score off. I came home instead, tried to just lay down and sleep it off, but I couldn't, Regina."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I don't know."

"Do you feel better now that you nearly destroyed our room?"

"A little?"

Regina chuckled softly and shook her head. "I suppose it could've been much worse."

"You're not mad?"

"No."

"I almost set the bed on fire."

"For a second or two," Regina replied.

"What if you didn't come home?"

"Then I suppose I would've come home to the house burnt down, hmm?" Regina sighed and she continued to rub a hand over Emma's back and the other threading through her hair gently. "Was it just your idiot father that pushed you over the edge or was it something else?"

"I don't know. I just got so angry and so upset, Regina. I wasn't in control of myself at all and it scared me."

"You made the right choice."

"I nearly destroyed our room!" Emma groaned and Regina felt her relax a little, but she could still feel the tension coiling in Emma's back. "How was that the right choice? I should've called you or called Archie, but I didn't."

"You didn't leave. You're still here. That is the right choice."

"I thought I could do this," Emma sighed and Regina kissed the side of her head. "I almost slipped in New York and I could've slipped today."

"But you didn't," Regina reminded her. "You didn't slip and you won't. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for." Regina let it settle in for a moment before she took Emma's right hand in hers. The skin over her knuckles was split open but not bleeding profusely. She let her hand hover for a few seconds, healing the broken skin.

"I didn't know you could do that," Emma whispered as she looked down at her healed hand. "Can't you heal what's broken inside my head?"

"No," Regina frowned as she lifted her hand to stroke along the side of Emma's face and stared deeply into her eyes, seeing how much desperation there was in Emma's eyes that it was heartbreaking.

"But you healed my hand."

"That was on the surface," Regina replied. "The brain is a whole different matter and there are many things that could go wrong if one even attempted such a feat. I would never dream of attempting something like that, even if I had the means to. Every bit of you is unique and you may be broken, but it's not impossible to fix, to pick up the pieces and put them back together. It just takes time."

"How much time, Regina?"

"That is something we'll never know until the time has come and passed. Now come on, Emma, let's get this room cleaned up and we'll have lunch, just as we planned."

"Can't you just magic it clean?"

"I could," Regina said as they both got up from the floor together. "But that's the easy way out, Emma. You made this mess and now you need to clean it. Without magic."

"And here I thought you'd make some quip about not being Marry Poppins."

"Who?"

Emma gasped. "Are you serious?" She asked incredulously. "Tonight we are definitely going to change that."

"It is another Disney movie, isn't it?"

"Yes, but it's not a cartoon and there are no princesses or princes or evil queens. I can text Henry later and see if he can find it at the store and we'll watch it together, okay?"

Sometimes Regina found it fascinating the way Emma's mood could shift so easily, from bad to good, from good to bad in the blink of an eye. She'd gotten used to those mood changes, accepted them, helped Emma through some of her lows and helped her hang on to the highs for as long as possible.

[X]

A week after Emma's near self-destruction, Emma seemed to be back on the right track as she'd been before. She had extended sessions with Dr. Hopper, but even though they were longer than before, they didn't seem to drain her near as much. Regina had one session with Dr. Hopper at the end of the third week since they had returned from New York City. She had her concerns and she needed to hear from him that Emma was making leaps and bounds, not falling backwards or almost slipping as she had before.

For three weeks since their return, they had kept their relationship between them, a secret in some ways, but after Regina's session with Dr. Hopper, she knew that he knew. There was the knowing look in his eyes even if he didn't say the words. He knew. It was the same look she saw in Ruby Lucas' eyes whenever they crossed paths. She knew as well, but for whatever reason, she never said a word, and for that Regina was grateful for.

Regina's relationship with Emma was far from perfect, far from going smoothly, but they were happy together even despite the petty little arguments they found themselves in from time to time. Yet, they wouldn't be _them_ if they didn't argue, didn't bicker, didn't get under each other's skin that released the ever-familiar rage they were both used to feeling. Sometimes their arguments started when Emma left dishes in the sink for far too long when it was her turn to do them. Other times it was Emma getting frustrated at Regina's nitpicking over keeping the house clean and in order at all times. Despite it all, at the end of the day, they always found a way to get over it all, making up, apologizing, talking through it like normal couples do in a healthy relationship.

Their relationship was still so new, and it was so very different than any Regina had in the past, but she knew one thing for certain and it was that she was happy with Emma. She was happy and in love. It wasn't unrequited love as they were equals and their feelings for one another were met halfway. Emma seemed to understand her in ways no others ever had or ever could and she knew she understood Emma in ways only she could. They were different, but they were also the same in many ways. It was part of the reason what made it easy to be together, to be happy together.

For the first time in a long time, she was happy and she knew that Emma was too. Regina could see it in Emma's smile, hear it in her laughter, and she could feel it every time they touched or shared a lingering kiss. Emma really truly was happy for the first time, perhaps in years and not just in the nearly three months since she'd last used. Emma was happy, she was in a better place, and Regina knew she was a part of the reason why.

Regina found herself reflecting on their relationship, on their past, on everything they'd gone through to get to where they were. She did it in quiet moments, during breakfast when she watched Emma and Henry wolf down their food as if they were in a race to finish first. Sometimes she found herself reflecting when they sat in the den together as a family, watching whatever movie one of them had picked that night, watching Emma laugh at the television with Henry's own laugh echoing hers. Other times, she lay awake in bed, watching Emma sleep as she thought about how far they'd come on their own and together.

Being with Emma had changed her, changed the way she thought, and changed the way she viewed life in general. Emma brought out a side of her she hadn't seen in herself since she was young, very young, and it made her heart and her soul feel free and light. She felt the way she had when she was a teenager, before she fell in love with Daniel, before her mother corrupted her and forced her to marry the king, a man three times as old as she'd been at the time. Feeling that way began to change everything from the way she thought to the way she acted day after day.

Regina wasn't the only one who noticed the changes, Henry noticed, Emma noticed, but they weren't the only other ones either. When she ran into Mary Margaret Tuesday afternoon at the diner, stopping to grab her and Emma some lunch before meeting Emma at the house for their lunch date, Mary Margaret just looked at her in awe when Regina greeted her with a smile. She just shrugged it off when Mary Margaret asked what had gotten into her and told her she was simply having a good day.

On the Saturday at the end of the month they agreed to wait before they took their relationship to the next level intimately, Emma made her breakfast in bed and surprised her with a single red rose.

"This is a nice surprise," Regina said as she sleepily rubbed at her eyes and sat up in bed while Emma placed the tray between them. "What is the occasion?"

"No occasion, just because I wanted to," Emma smiled and she leaned in to kiss her good morning. "Henry is going to spend the night with my parents."

"Ah," Regina smiled before reaching for the cup of coffee on the tray closest to her. "And what is so special about tonight?"

"Aside from the fact that I have been sober for three months today?" Emma asked with a wide grin. "I'm taking you out on a date."

"Out?"

"Yes, out," Emma replied. "On a date. A proper date, Regina, not dinner at home like we always do."

"I see."

"I want to take you out," Emma continued. "I want to hold your hand, I want to kiss you whenever I want to and I don't care who sees. I don't care. I love you, Regina, and I don't want to keep this just between us anymore."

"So," Regina said as she cupped her hands around the warm mug. "You want to—"

"I want people to know we're together. I want people to know that we're in love and that we're happy together. I'm ready for that, Regina. I think I've been ready for a few weeks now, but I wasn't sure until I woke up this morning and just watched you sleep for a little while that I know I'm ready."

"You do realize that if you don't tell your parents about us and they find out from someone else how upset they are going to be, don't you?"

"Yes, which is why we're going to meet them for lunch today. Not just to tell them about us, but because I want to give the house to them."

"You want to give your parents your house?"

"Well, it's pretty obvious that I'm never going back, isn't it?" Emma asked and when Regina didn't say anything, Emma shook her head. "Or am I getting way ahead of myself here just assuming that we're living together now? I mean, I've been here for three months, Regina, and—"

"And I want you to stay," Regina finished for her. "How long have you been thinking of giving them the house?"

"Honestly?" Emma asked and she shrugged as she reached for a piece of bacon. "I think since about a week after I got out of the hospital. Even if I didn't stay here, even if we didn't end up becoming more than friends, I figured I could just stay at the loft and let them have the house. It'd be nice for them, you know? More rooms too if—when they decide to try for another baby."

Regina just smiled and leaned over for a quick kiss. "I'm sure they'll have plenty of reasons to turn down that offer," she said after a moment. "You know they will."

"I know, but I'm not taking no for an answer. The house is theirs whether they want it or not, but knowing my parents, it's going to take a few days, a week even before they realize that it'd be good for them, for Neal, and for any other children they have."

"You aren't going to miss being there?"

"Does it look like I miss being there?" Emma replied and took another bite of her bacon with a smile. "It never felt like home, Regina."

"Does it feel like home here?"

" _You_ feel like home."

"Smooth," Regina chuckled before she reached for a piece of toast. "Did Henry help you?"

"Are you kidding?" Emma deadpanned, but she couldn't hold a straight face for very long. "Of course he helped, Regina. I still can't make eggs the way you like them. He made the eggs and the toast and I cooked the bacon and made the coffee."

"It looks and smells delicious, darling. Thank you."

They ate off the same plate together, occasionally sharing a kiss here and there until the plate was empty and the coffee was gone. Like most quiet moments they shared, Regina used that time to reflect back on the last three months. They talked more now than they did before, especially since that day a month ago when things got a little too heated and went a little too far. It wasn't long after that day that Emma admitted to her that being with her, even just touching her in a non-intimate way, had her feeling a buzz that was far more pleasant than the dope had been. Regina knew it was why Emma grew more and more insistent to be near her, to touch her, to kiss her whenever she wanted.

Regina became Emma's drug of choice; or rather their connection and the way their magic fed off one another became Emma's drug of choice. At first Regina had been worried, but after a joint session with Dr. Hopper, without revealing too much of their relationship, he informed them that it was better than her relapsing to her previous drug of choice at the end of the day.

She knew that Emma thought less and less about the urge to use, that the cravings, while still there, were becoming easier for her to ignore and get through. Regina noticed a pattern after the cuff had been removed and she definitely wasn't complaining about the random little kisses they shared or the hours they spend at times making out on the couch in the den like they were teenagers and not full-grown adults.

Things weren't perfect, but they were better than ever before. Not only did Regina have her best friend, they were in love, and they were happy together. Regina could see a future with Emma even if things did get rough at times. She saw not only a future as a family, but also a future that went far beyond what they had become.

After they cleaned up from breakfast and showered, they headed out of the house for a walk that would end at the Charming's loft where they'd visit with them before heading to Granny's for lunch as they had planned. Regina felt nervous as they approached the loft and Emma just took her hand, giving her a reassuring smile and a soft kiss before they climbed up the stairs.

"It's not too late to change your mind," Regina whispered as she let go of Emma's hand.

"What?"

"We can always tell them another time."

"Are you nervous?" Emma asked quietly and Regina just cast her eyes away, staring at the brick wall near the door. "You are, aren't you?"

"I have every right to be nervous, Emma. I'm surprised that you aren't."

"Oh I am," Emma said and she shook her head as Regina turned to look back at her. "I don't want to keep this a secret anymore, Regina, not when you are the reason I am happy right now. They need to know."

"They are not going to be happy, Emma."

"I don't care."

"You know they are going to likely try to push us apart."

"Not happening."

"Your mother is going to—"

"She can say anything she wants, but nothing either of them say is going to change how I feel about you, Regina."

Regina exhaled slowly and nodded, waiting as Emma knocked twice on the door before opening it. She followed Emma inside the loft where Mary Margaret was in the kitchen cleaning up, David nowhere to be seen, and Neal playing by the sofa quietly.

"Emma, Regina!" Mary Margaret said with a bright smile as she tossed the dishtowel on to the counter and hurried towards them, hugging Emma before offering a small smile at Regina. "We weren't expecting you for another hour. Where is Henry? He is still coming for lunch, isn't he?"

"He's going to meet us at the diner in an hour," Emma replied. "The reason we came early is because there is something we want to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Mary Margaret said as she walked over to her son and scooped him up into her arms. "Is everything all right?"

"Where's Dad?"

"He just ran down to the store to get the paper," she replied. "Would either of you like something to drink? The kettle is still warm enough for a cup of tea."

"We're fine," Emma answered and she motioned to Regina to sit down at the table and Emma took a seat next to her. "Everything is fine, if you're worried," Emma said once Mary Margaret sat down opposite of them. "Everything is actually pretty great."

"You look fantastic, Emma," she smiled and she let Neal down when he started to squirm. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Much better," Emma smiled right back at her, a hand falling on to Regina's thigh just under the table. "I owe a lot to Regina."

"Yes, we all do," Mary Margaret replied. "There is no way we can ever repay you for saving Emma, is there?"

"There is no need," Regina said quietly. "I care a great deal for Emma. If I had a choice in doing it all over again, I wouldn't do it any differently."

"Thank you," Mary Margaret said sincerely as David walked in the door with the paper tucked under his arm and a half eaten bear claw in one hand. "David! We're going for lunch in an hour and you're eating now?"

"What?" He asked with his mouth full and he shrugged as he kicked the door shut and placed the Storybrooke Mirror on the table. "Is something wrong?" He asked when he looked at Emma and Regina. "Did something happen?"

"No Dad, nothing is wrong," Emma sighed. "Regina and I actually have something we want to talk to you about. A few things actually. Can you sit down?"

David nodded and took a seat beside his wife. Regina could see that he was looking a little bit nervous and so did Mary Margaret because they had no idea what Emma was about to tell them. On the walk over, Emma told her that she was going to start with telling them she was giving her house to them and go from there.

"So, I've been thinking a lot lately about the house," Emma began and Regina glanced down at Emma's hand that was still resting on her thigh and noticed just the slightest of trembling before Emma pulled her hand away. "I want you guys to have the house. I want you to move in there and raise Neal there."

"Emma—"

"Sweetie, that's too much," Mary Margaret said before David could say a word. "That is your house, your home. Are you going to stay there with us?"

"No," Emma breathed out softly. "I want you guys to have it. It's not my home, Mom, it never was."

"Where will you go?"

"What do you mean?" Emma asked. "Where will I go? I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying with Regina and Henry."

"Emma," Mary Margaret said with worry etched over her face. "Aren't you afraid you are overstaying your welcome there?"

"She's not," Regina implored. "Emma is welcome to stay as long as she wishes."

"Mom, the thing is, I'm home when I'm with Regina and Henry," she said and Regina looked over at her once again with a small yet encouraging smile. "That's the other thing I wanted— _we_ wanted to talk to you about and we wanted to tell you—"

"I knew it!" Mary Margaret exclaimed loudly, causing Emma and Regina to both flinch at the same time. Mary Margaret laughed as she shook David's shoulder. "I told you there was something going on between them, David. I _told_ you and you didn't believe me!"

"Wait, what?" Emma blinked rapidly. "You knew?"

"Suspected," David said with a shake of his head and he chuckled as Mary Margaret almost squealed in delight. "Your mother thought that something might be going on with you two since you came back from New York City."

"So, is it true?" Mary Margaret asked and Regina just blanked as she stared at her former nemesis in disbelief. Emma barely nodded and Mary Margaret squealed again, grabbing hard onto David's shoulder until he winced in pain. "I can't believe this! I was right! Oh my goodness, Emma, how did this happen? Did it happen in New York?"

"Basically," Emma said and she looked at Regina and mouthed "what the hell" before turning back to face her parents. "Uh, we've been taking this slow, you know with me being in recovery and everything, but we're together and we're…"

"Happy," Regina finished for her with a smile. "We're happy."

"We are," Emma grinned as she reached for Regina's hand beneath the table.

"This is so wonderful, Emma!"

"It is?"

"Yes," Mary Margaret beamed. "We were so worried that neither of you would find love again, but here you are, finding that in one another. Oh, this is almost just like a fairytale, isn't it?"

"Mom," Emma chuckled and Regina didn't have to look at her to know she had just rolled her eyes at the words her mother had chosen to use. "You're okay with this?"

"Don't get her too excited now, Emma," David chuckled as he shook his head at his overly excited wife. "Next thing you know she'll be talking about marriage and babies."

"Oh don't be ridiculous, David," Mary Margaret laughed. "Their relationship is still so very new and you know they both need time before that becomes something they're even thinking of doing."

"Who are you and what did you do to my wife?"

"Yeah," Emma chuckled. "Who are you and what did you do to my mother?"

"Does Henry know?" Mary Margaret asked before she waved them off. "Of course he knows. He lives in the same house. Did you tell him or did he figure it out on his own?"

"We told him the night we got back from New York," Emma replied. "We just wanted to keep this low-key for a little while, that's all."

"Of course," Mary Margaret nodded. "Of course. I understand why, with the past, with who we all used to be many, many years ago, but that is all water under the bridge now."

"It has been for quite some time," Regina smiled. "I have to say, your reaction was not one that I was expecting."

"I've had some time to come to terms with the fact that you two are romantically involved. At first I wasn't sure how I felt, but the more I looked back on everything and what you have both been through together, the more I realized that it was only a matter of time before you two found your way to one another."

Regina rolled her eyes, but the overwhelming feeling of not only love and happiness, but also acceptance that filled her, it chased away any little bit of malice that still lingered. Regina just smiled at Mary Margaret and gave Emma's hand a little squeeze.

Regina thought that things would've gone a different route that lunch together would've been nothing but awkward with the Charming's once they knew about her and Emma, but it didn't feel awkward at all. It just felt right.

Everything felt all right.


	11. Chapter 11

Thunder rumbled outside as Regina stood at the window in her study. Emma had left barely ten minutes before the storm had rolled in and she hadn't come home from dropping Henry off with his grandparents for the night. They had planned to go out for dinner to Lumiere's, but with the storm worsening, Regina already knew their plans to go out were going to be put on hold.

Her cell phone rang and she walked over to her desk, picking it up and answering it immediately when she saw Emma's name. "Hello Emma."

"Damn, it's really coming down out there, isn't it?" Emma asked, her voice muffled a bit by the sound of the rain hammering down on her car. "Regina?"

"Yes," she sighed as she walked back over to the window, watching a brilliant bolt of lightning stretch across the sky. "Where are you?"

"Just got back in the car after dropping Henry off. I'm thinking we're going to have to stay in tonight."

"I was just thinking the same thing."

"I could still stop and get something from Lumiere's? There is no way you're cooking tonight, Regina."

"Our usual?"

"Yeah?" Emma asked and Regina smiled. "Okay. I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Be safe, Emma. The storm is getting worse."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too."

Regina headed upstairs to the bedroom and she tossed her phone on the edge of the immaculately made bed. She jumped a little at the loud crack of thunder that shook the house and she shook it off before walking over to the dresser and pulled open the top drawer, her lingerie drawer. Her fingers skimmed over several pieces before she pulled out the low-cut red lace bra and matching panties and she smiled at the feel of the soft lace. The color looked striking on her, there was no denying that, and that particular set was a lot more revealing than some of the other pieces she wore on a regular basis.

She stripped from her clothes and her undergarments, placing them in the hamper before dressing in the red lingerie. She walked over to the mirror by the closet, examining and admiring the way the red lingerie looked on her. With a bite to her lower lip, she turned to the side and grinned at the way her curvaceous bottom was accentuated by the panties, how the edge just hugged her skin in all the right places. She grabbed a black silk robe out of the closet and pulled it on slowly, her eyes not leaving her reflection in the mirror once.

Regina found a newer pair of Louboutin heels in the closet and slipped them on, loving the height they gave her and the way they made her legs look. She was starting to become nervous because she had never been with another woman before, at least not reciprocating with another woman. She was nervous because she had no idea what to expect from Emma despite getting a few tastes of what was to come over the past few weeks.

Regina turned to the bed and with a wave of her hand rose petals magically appeared on the bed and a few vanilla scented candles appeared over the room, lit and causing a dim glow to cast over the room just as the power cut out due to the storm. Regina picked up her phone and pulled up the text message app, grinning as she quickly typed up a message to Emma and hit send.

 ** _When you get home, put our dinner in the kitchen and come upstairs._**

Regina licked over her lips before walking over to the mirror by the closet and checked her hair and makeup. She wanted to keep it subtle as Emma had expressed many times, especially early in the morning before she got ready for the day, how beautiful she thought she was without any makeup at all. She ran her fingers through her hair and exhaled sharply before a text from Emma came through.

 ** _I'm almost home. I'll be there in five._**

Regina turned off her phone and placed it in its usual spot on the bedside table on her side of the bed and she smoothed her hands over her robe, tightening the knot of the belt as she waited for Emma to get home. The storm raged outside, getting worse by the minute, just as her nerves became heightened with every minute that passed.

Regina found it strange that she felt so nervous. Seduction had always come too easy for her, but this was new, her relationship with Emma was new and far different than anything she'd ever had before. She didn't want to just seduce Emma Swan, she wanted to make love to her, to show her in every way how much she truly did love her. She paced the bedroom floor, trying not to count the seconds as they ticked by and she tried not to think about how nervous she felt just waiting for Emma to come home.

She paced for what felt like ten minutes and the power never came back on in that time. When she heard Emma come into the house, her heart raced a little harder, a little faster than before and she took a few deep breaths and listened as Emma made her way into the kitchen and then up the stairs.

"Regina?" Emma called out as another rumble of thunder shook the house. "Regina? How long has the power been out?"

Regina leaned up against the wall by the open door and inhaled sharply. The intoxicating feeling of wanting Emma, every inch of her, was paving the way for her nerves to dissipate as she thought of all the ways she could take Emma by surprise. She bit her bottom lip as Emma rushed into the bedroom, making it all but three steps before she came to a stop to take in the sight of the candles lit around the room and the subtle rose petals that lay on top of the duvet.

Emma was dripping wet from being out in the storm and Regina tentatively walked up behind her and tugged at the hem of her wet t-shirt. Emma turned around and smiled as her hands found their way easily to rest upon Regina's hips.

"Hey," Emma whispered and she moaned when Regina's hands slipped under her wet t-shirt and along Emma's soft, warm, damp skin. "I should probably change before we eat. I'm a little…wet."

"So am I," Regina murmured and she balled a fist on the front of Emma's t-shirt and pulled her in for a deeply passionate kiss. "Dinner can wait," Regina whispered against her lips as she began to ease Emma's wet t-shirt up her abdomen slowly. "I believe we've waited long enough for this moment, haven't we?"

"Oh shit," Emma groaned and she lifted her arms to allow Regina to remove her wet t-shirt. "It's been a month?"

"Give or take, yes," Regina smiled as she dropped the t-shirt to the floor and smoothed her hands along Emma's toned arms. "I thought we'd celebrate. Three months clean and sober."

"Three months."

"Three months," Regina repeated. She traced her fingers over the straps of Emma's bra and chuckled lowly. "You didn't forget we agreed to wait a month, did you?" Regina teased.

"No," Emma smirked. "I just didn't expect…this."

Regina ran a hand along Emma's shoulder and to the back of her neck under her damp hair and pulled her in for a scorching kiss. She moaned into Emma's mouth, kissing her harder and deeper as Emma smoothed her hands over her hips. She placed a palm on Emma's chest, pushing her back until she fell on to the edge of the bed with a gasp. Regina grinned salaciously and licked over her lips as she tugged on the belt of her robe and let it fall open under Emma's watchful, lustful gaze.

Regina watched Emma's eyes roam over her body and she teased open the robe a little more to reveal the lingerie beneath. With a small sway of her hips, she shrugged the robe off of her shoulders and haphazardly tossed it to the side where it landed on the floor. Emma reached out and grasped on to the back of her thighs, pulling Regina in close to her. Regina watched as Emma placed a few feather-light kisses along her skin just below her navel and the excitement and her arousal surged at the feel of Emma's lips on her skin.

Emma's hands slipped up the back of her thighs, over the curve of her ass and up to rest on her hips, her lips trailing over Regina's abdomen at an unhurried pace. She tugged at Regina's hips until Regina moved to straddle Emma's thighs and she sighed contently as Emma's lips trailed a blazing path up her chest and along the column of her neck. Regina sighed again and she ran her hands over Emma's toned arms and tilted her head to the side, exposing her neck more to Emma's insistent lips.

Her heels fell to the floor as she shifted on Emma's lap, moving to get even closer to her as Emma's lips brushed along the underside of her jaw. Every time she moved, she could feel the roughness of damp denim against her skin and she leaned back, just out of reach of Emma's lips and reached between them with a hand to tug on the button of Emma's jeans.

"Off," Regina murmured. "You're overdressed."

"I take them off and I'll be underdressed," Emma replied huskily and upon Regina's look of confusion, she laughed with a small shake of her head. "I'm not wearing any—"

"Oh," Regina sighed out, a rush of arousal flooding through her body.

With a sinful smile, Regina slipped off of Emma's lap and forced her to stand up from the bed. She scratched her nails down the front of Emma's abdomen and traced a fingertip along the button and zipper of Emma's tight jeans. She stood up from the bed as she unbuttoned the jeans and slid the zipper down tantalizingly slow as she crushed her lips against Emma's, kissing her with a hunger she couldn't quite sate.

Emma moaned and gripped at Regina's hips, not stopping her as Regina deftly slipped a hand inside her jeans. Regina's breath hitched in her chest as she raked her fingers over closely cropped hair and slipped just one between Emma's folds. Emma was so hot, so wet, it made Regina's head spin and her heart race.

"Fuck," Emma murmured against her lips. "Regina…"

Regina grinned as she slicked her finger through her folds and teased along Emma's hard clit. Emma's whole body trembled as a moan escaped past her lips and Regina slowly pulled her hand out of the tight confines of Emma's jeans and leaned back as she brought her fingers up to her lips for a taste.

Regina moaned at the taste of Emma, her body thrumming with heated desire, wanting to taste her fully and straight from the source. She smoothed her hands down Emma's sides and along the front of her lower abdomen, scratching her nails over her skin as she watched a wave of pleasure roll over Emma's body. Taking a firm grip at the waist of Emma's jeans, she began to tug them down, finding it hard just to slip them down her slight hips with ease.

Regina sank to her knees and bit her bottom lip as she slipped Emma's jeans down her thighs, revealing her to her eyes just mere inches away. She could smell the heady, musky smell of Emma's arousal and she licked over her lips when Emma swayed on her feet and lifted a leg to help her remove her still damp from the rain jeans. Emma moaned and ran her fingers through Regina's hair while Regina struggled to get the jeans free from her legs, but it was a struggle and Regina was growing frustrated.

With a low growl, Regina rose to her feet, grabbed Emma by her ass and all but tossed her on the bed before ripping her jeans and her socks the rest of the way off. Emma's chest was rising and falling quickly as she laid out on the bed clad in only her bra.

"That's not fair," Emma smirked. She leaned up on her elbows and raised an eyebrow a Regina. "Now who is overdressed?"

Regina licked over her lips as she crawled up the bed with one knee between Emma's legs and the other on the outside of Emma's right leg. Regina kept one hand on the mattress and trailed the other over Emma's left thigh, up over her hip, and along her toned abdomen ever so tantalizingly slow. Emma leaned up a little more on her elbows and Regina slipped her hand around to her back and unclasped Emma's bra with a quick flick of her fingers.

Regina moved to straddle Emma's hips, not quite touching her body at all as Emma laid back and allowed her to remove her bra. Emma ran her hands up Regina's thighs, causing a delicious shiver to run through her body. Regina tossed Emma's bra to the floor before falling forward and capturing Emma's lips in a sinfully passionate kiss.

Emma pulled Regina down on top of her and Regina could feel the heat of her cunt against her own even through the thin barrier of her panties. With a languid swipe along Emma's top lip, Regina leaned back, settling her weigh on Emma and she stared down at her for a moment, drinking in the sight of Emma naked beneath her.

Regina reached behind her back and unclasped her bra as Emma's hands lifted up to gently tug down the straps away from her shoulders. Regina rolled her hips, eliciting a moan past Emma's parted lips and she shrugged her bra away, allowing Emma to toss it to the floor. Regina's breath hitched as Emma smoothed her hands up her abdomen and palmed her bare breasts, her nipples hardening at the smallest brush of Emma's thumbs against them.

A gasp fell past her lips when Emma sat up and wrapped an arm around her, her lips falling along her neck as she sunk her fingers into Emma's still damp hair. She lifted up on her knees, aiding Emma as Emma's lips trailed down over her collarbone. Emma rolled a hard nipple between her thumb and forefinger before wrapping her lips around it, sucking hard enough to border on the line between pain and pure pleasure.

"Emma," Regina moaned, her first words spoken since she'd first tried to get Emma out of her jeans. "Gods," she sighed as Emma's tongue circled her nipple before she licked and nipped her way to the other.

"You're still overdressed," Emma murmured against her skin, her hands smoothing down Regina's back slowly and she dipped her fingers just under the edge of her panties. "As fucking amazing as these look on you, they need to come off."

"Then take them off, Em- _ma_."

Regina gasped when Emma fluidly spun her over and she landed on her back in the middle of the bed with Emma hovering over her. She ran her hands up Emma's strong arms, sighing softly at the way the strong muscles felt beneath her fingertips. She hooked a leg around Emma's waist, pulling her flush on top of her and their lips met in an unhurried but passionate kiss.

Thunder crashed and the house shook as Regina parted from the kiss and took a moment just to stare into Emma's eyes, dark, almost black in the flickering candlelight. She lifted a hand and cupped Emma's cheek, marveling at how far Emma had come in the last three months, how hard she had fought to stay clean, to recover, to find her way down the road away from the darkness that had resided within her.

"What?"

Regina just smiled and stroked a thumb over Emma's cheek. "I'm so proud of you."

"Why?"

"You've come so far. I know it's not over yet, but—"

"I couldn't have come this far without you, Regina."

Regina's heart filled with emotion, her eyes with tears, and when Emma kissed her soundly, she could feel everything that Emma felt in that very moment, a mirror of her own emotions. She was torn as well, wanting that special moment between them, but she also wanted to continue what they had started at the same time.

"I love you," Emma whispered. "I love you, Regina."

"I love you," Regina whispered back and she continued to stroke her thumb over Emma's cheek lightly. "I want to show you just how much I do."

"You do, though," Emma smiled at her. "You show me that every day in every little thing that you do."

"But I want to show you," Regina purred and she nudged at Emma until she was once again on top, hovering just over her, a hand ghosting over Emma's abdomen. Her fingers brushed the underside of Emma's left small, pert breast, and they both inhaled sharply as Regina ducked her head down to trail feather-light kisses along Emma's clavicle, her fingers teasing, tugging at a semi-erect nipple while her lips descended down to tease over the other. "Can I show you, Em- _ma_?"

"Yes."

"But?" Regina asked, sensing the hesitation in Emma's voice.

"You still got your panties on, Regina."

"Patience, my love," she breathed out along Emma's heated flesh, watching as her nipple stood at attention, hard and waiting. She teased her tongue over the hard bud, grinning as she pulled back and Emma whimpered. "Patience."

Regina dipped her head back down and wrapped her lips around Emma stiff nipple, sucking gently for a second and a little harder the next. Her hand trailed unhurriedly down Emma's abdomen and over the dip above her hipbone. She shifted on her knees and held her upper body up with one hand placed firmly on the mattress next to Emma and she slipped her fingers lower, her fingertips brushing lightly over the closely cropped hair between Emma's thighs.

Her fingers sank into wet, hot heat. She exhaled deeply and released Emma's hard nipple slowly, her eyes trailing up to meet Emma's intense gaze. Regina grinned before she slipped out her tongue to tease along Emma's tiny navel, eliciting a deep, rumbling moan past her lips.

Regina slipped her fingers away from the slick heat of Emma's cunt and she scratched her nails along Emma's inner thighs, spreading her legs wide. She could feel Emma tremble as she dropped a kiss to her lower abdomen. Regina had never done this before, but the nervousness of being inexperienced wasn't about to stop her. She could smell Emma's heady arousal much more strongly and she didn't hold back as she took her first taste with a firm stroke of her tongue along Emma's slit.

"Fuck," Emma gasped, her hips lifting off the bed slightly as Regina licked along her slit once more, curling her tongue and flicking at her clit teasingly. "Fuck, Regina!"

Regina took one last swipe, teasing her tongue inside Emma's hole before pulling back and kneeling between Emma's spread legs. Emma leaned up on her elbows, a mask of confusion and arousal clouding her features. Regina licked greedily over her lips and ran her hands over her hips, teasing Emma some more as she playfully tugged at her own panties.

Her lips twitched and she slipped off the edge of the bed, standing there while Emma watched with such intensity she could feel Emma practically devouring her with just her eyes. She didn't tease any longer, her body wouldn't allow it nor would the driving need she had that consumed her whole. She eased her panties down her hips, moaning softly when she felt the soft material stick to her core before it came free.

"Regina," Emma gasped. "Come here, Regina."

Regina let her panties fall down her legs and stepped out of them, moving slowly to crawl up the bed to Emma. They both moaned as their lips met and Emma's hands smoothed over her back and grasped on to her rear, pulling their naked bodies flush together.

"Fuck," Regina moaned and she felt Emma smirk against her lips.

The storm raged on outside and they kissed, their bodies and limbs tangled within one another's, lost in a world they created together. Regina could feel Emma's slick heat when she slipped a thigh between Emma's legs. This time when Emma rolled them over, she wasn't surprised and she pulled back from Emma's lips with a coy smirk.

"Like to be on top?" Regina purred and Emma chuckled throatily.

"Is that a problem?"

"Not at all."

Regina's heart was racing and she stared up at her beautiful lover, basking in the moment and in the feel of Emma's body on top of hers. Emma rolled her hips down, sliding her cunt over Regina's thigh and Regina grasped at her hips, pulling her down a little harder and moved against Emma's thigh that was between her legs.

Emma crushed their lips together in a fierce and desperate kiss as their bodies moved in almost perfect synchrony. The room filled with their moans, their sighs and gasps. Emma grasped on to Regina's thigh and she pulled it away from where Regina had it wrapped around her hip and pressed it hard against the mattress. Emma shifted on top of her, breaking apart from the kiss as she leaned back and mounted Regina, their cunts sliding against one another as Emma began to thrust her hips down.

Regina cried out in pleasure as she could feel how wet Emma's cunt was against her own. She dug her nails into Emma's hips before Emma reached for one of her hands and interlaced their fingers. Regina moved her other hand up to Emma's shoulder and she pulled her down for another kiss.

"Fuck, you feel so good," Emma murmured against her lips.

"Emma."

Regina tightened her hold on Emma's hand and gasped when she felt Emma slip her other hand between their bodies and slick her fingers over Regina's wet folds. Regina moaned as Emma teased a finger over her sensitive clit and Emma leaned back just enough to stare down into her eyes, watching as wave after wave of pleasurable arousal rippled throughout her body.

Regina stared deeply into Emma's eyes and she ran her hand down from her shoulder, along her breasts and down over her abdomen. She could feel Emma's muscle tense the lower her hand travelled. Emma exhaled shakily when her fingers slipped through molten heat and Emma crushed their lips together once more in a hungry, wanton kiss. Regina stroked her fingers over Emma's clit, matching Emma's strokes until Emma pulled back with a small shake of her head.

Emma didn't say a word, instead she just bucked her hips against Regina's hand and Regina changed the stroke of her fingers, pressing harder against her clit until Emma was gasping and moaning her name under her breath.

"Em- _ma_!" Regina cried out the moment Emma entered her with two slender fingers.

"Fuck, I love it when you say my name like that," Emma moaned and she thrust her fingers in hard and deep, eliciting a gasp past Regina's lips. "Fuck."

Regina deftly entered Emma with one finger, feeling it sink into the velvet hot depths of Emma's cunt with ease. She added a second and kissed Emma with fevered passion she felt the kiss everywhere all at once. She could feel her orgasm building deep inside her core, threating to spill forth at any given second. She could also feel their magic mixing, their connection closer and bound more than it had been before.

The storm continued to rage outside, each rumble of thunder fainter and further away as it began to roll away. Regina continued to thrust her fingers inside of Emma, listening to Emma's moans and the way her body reacted each and every single time. She could feel Emma's body begin to quake, but what really caught her off-guard was the fact that she could quite literally feel Emma's orgasm building as if it were her own, amplifying her own pleasure as it coursed its way through her body.

She stilled her fingers when Emma peaked and tumbled over the edge, her orgasm racing through her body and causing her to shake with every wave that rolled through her. It was more than enough to push Regina over the edge and they were kissing and grasping on to one another as their bodies succumbed to the pleasure they'd been denying themselves since that first night In New York City.

Regina removed her sodden fingers from inside of Emma and a smile curled over her lips as she felt Emma relax against her. She eased Emma's fingers out from inside of her and intertwined their fingers while she ran her other hand up and down Emma's back leisurely.

"Did you feel that?" Emma whispered. "Our magic?"

"Yes," Regina nodded and she pressed a kiss to Emma's forehead with a smile. "It was absolutely...amazing."

"You are absolutely amazing," Emma murmured as she kissed lazily along the underside of Regina's jaw and over her cheek until their lips met.

"As are you, Emma."

Emma grinned as she brought their joined hands up to her lips and kissed the back of Regina's hand lovingly. Emma shifted slightly on top of her and stared into her eyes in the flickering candlelight. Regina felt like she was under a spell, a pleasant spell that left her whole body tingling in every delicious and delightful way.

When Emma started to kiss down her neck and move down her body, Regina laughed softly and stopped her. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Emma smirked. "What, you didn't think we were finished, did you?"

"Well no, but—"

"I hardly think it's fair," Emma continued. Regina moaned as Emma trailed her tongue down the center of her abdomen before playfully nipping at her skin below her navel.

"What isn't fair?"

"You got a taste and I haven't…yet. I've been waiting since the first time I touched you."

Regina threw her head back against the mattress as Emma spread her legs with hands firmly on her inner thighs. There was no hesitation, no tentative swipe of a tongue. Emma quite literally dove in, sucking on her still tender and throbbing clit, pulling out a loud moan past her lips and an uncontrollable buck of her hips. Emma's hands were firm on her thighs, holding her down as she tongued at her clit persistently.

Regina gasped and she grasped at the duvet, trying to still her hips as Emma's tongue continued its pleasurable assault on her sensitive clit. Just mere minutes in and she could feel a second orgasm building, one much more explosive than the first. She sank both hands into Emma's hair and held her close while reveling in the sensations that Emma was making her feel with just her tongue alone.

Regina gasped and moaned, cried out Emma's name as a low rumble of thunder sounded off in the distance. She released her hands from Emma's head, moving them back to grasp at the duvet as her back arched and the first wave of her orgasm started to flow freely through her body. She let the pleasure consume her completely as she surrendered to it completely.

"Oh Emma," she sighed out, a moan coming out a split second later as her hands moved back to Emma's head, not to pull her closer but to ease her away. "Emma!"

Emma pulled back and exhaled sharply, her hot breath flowing over her pulsating core and it sent her over that last edge and she was falling, falling, falling apart. Over and over again.

"Oh gods," Regina murmured, her breath catching in her chest as her body went rigid at the height of her climax. "Emma. Emma, come here."

Emma moaned as she slinked her way up Regina's body ever so slowly, grinning as Regina wrapped a leg around her hip to pull her close. Emma giggled as she moved to lay at Regina's side instead of on top of her, but pulled her close, leaving barely a sliver of an inch between them.

Regina reached up to cup Emma's cheek gently while marveling at the way Emma was looking at her in that very moment. There was lust, there was admiration, there was trust, but most of all, there was nothing but love and it was so very overwhelming. It was unlike anything Regina had ever experienced before and she knew in that very moment that this was the first time and most definitely not the last.

While the storm had all but passed, Regina knew their night was only just beginning. She was chasing the high that came in the moments just before her climax had taken over, a high she knew could be so very similar to the one Emma had chased for months on an end and nearly ended her life over. She didn't need to hear the words to know that Emma felt the same way. Regina felt it; she felt it with every ounce of her being and within every depth of her soul.

[X]

There was little evidence of the storm by the time the sun rose early in the morning. Regina blinked her eyes open and stretched out slowly before looking over at Emma laying next to her on her stomach with her head turned away from her. The sheets they'd barely managed to pull over themselves after hours of making love came just up to Emma's waist and Regina smiled as she ran her hands over Emma's bare back, reveling in the warmth of Emma's smooth skin.

"Mm, morning," Emma murmured as she turned her head to look at her. "It's too early to be awake, isn't it?"

"Yes," Regina smiled and she dropped a kiss to Emma's shoulder. "Good morning."

"Did last night really happen?"

"If it hadn't, I'm sure you'd be questioning why we're both naked in bed," Regina chuckled softly and Emma shook her head, burying her face into the pillow for a moment before turning to look at her again. "Last night was incredible, Emma."

"Last night was the best night of my life," Emma grinned and she turned on her side with a sigh and reached out for Regina, pulling her in a little bit closer. "I didn't know I could feel this way, Regina. I didn't know I could feel happy again."

Regina smiled and leaned in to kiss Emma softly. "I will do all I can to make you feel happy every day, Emma."

"Waking up like this is a good start," Emma replied. "Especially naked."

"You are quite insatiable, aren't you?"

"Oh yeah."

There was nothing like the way Emma's eyes shone when she smiled, the way the happiness she felt was so clear to see. She was more than determined to keep that happiness burning bright and strong within Emma, doing whatever she needed to do just that. She wasn't fooling herself though, since she knew moments like this would come and go.

Regina shook her head and smiled back at Emma, leaning in for a proper good morning kiss. Just as their lips met, they both pulled apart at the sound of the front door opening and then slamming shut. Regina waved a hand at the open bedroom door, shutting it before they both pulled the sheets up to cover their bodies.

"What the hell is he doing home so early?" Emma muttered, moving to lay back on her stomach and she buried her face into the pillow.

"I'm not sure," Regina sighed and she placed a few feather-light kisses along Emma's shoulder. "I'm going to head downstairs and put the coffee on before I jump in the shower."

"I'm going to sleep a little longer."

"Of course."

Regina slipped out of bed and she let out a squeal of surprise when Emma pulled her right back down. Regina didn't resist, allowing Emma to kiss her deeply before she pulled back and gave her head a small shake.

"Can't you stay here with me for a little while longer?" Emma asked with a slight pout. "I'm sure Henry is just going to go back to bed. It is really early."

"Emma," Regina sighed and she cupped her chin gently. "You can sleep for as long as you want and whether Henry is going to go back to sleep or not, I'm awake now and in dire need of some coffee."

"And I'm in dire need for another kiss."

Regina gave in, allowing Emma one more kiss before she got up from the bed and magicked her pajamas on. She grabbed her light grey robe and slipped it on, turning slightly to blow a kiss back at Emma before she walked out of the bedroom and pulled the door shut behind her.

Henry was sitting at the island counter when she got down to the kitchen a few minutes later. He had already put the coffee on and had a box of pastries from the diner sitting on the counter. Regina smiled at him as she grabbed a mug from the cupboard and waited a few minutes more for the coffee to finish brewing.

"You're home awfully early this morning, dear," she said softly and Henry shrugged as he flipped through the comic book that was open in front of him. "Rough night at the Charming's I take it?"

"Neal hates storms," Henry said tiredly. "He was up almost all night crying. Grandma gave up, Grandpa was almost just as scared a few times, and I ended up trying to convince Neal it was okay. He's still too young to understand some things."

"He'll grow out of it. When you were young, you were scared of many things, including thunder."

"I know. I remember," Henry said with a small, tired smile. "Where's Ma?"

"Still in bed," Regina chuckled and she turned to pour herself a cup of coffee, surprised when Henry jumped off the stool and retrieved the jug of milk for her. "Did you come home early because you had a long night?"

"Yeah," he shrugged and he scratched at the back of his neck in a way that reminded her so much of Emma. "Did you and Ma have a nice date last night?"

"Yes, we did."

"How was dinner?"

"It was wonderful," Regina said as she lifted her mug to her lips to hide her smug smile.

"Really?" Henry asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow. "Because when I got home the take-out boxes from Lumiere's were still right here, unopened."

"Oh. Right. We completely forgot about dinner."

"So, what did you guys do—oh. Oh." Henry backed away with a look of horror on his reddening face. "You know what, I don't even want to know. Gross."

Regina couldn't help but laugh at the embarrassment her son was showing as the realization of what his mother's had been up to the night before dawned on him. Regina just wrapped an arm around his broad shoulders and she hugged him gently until he started to squirm and pulled away.

"Mom…"

"Don't tell me you're getting too old to hug your mother," Regina said softly and he shook his head no. "Good, because you are never going to be too old to hug your mother."

"Mom?" Henry asked as he slipped an arm around Regina's back and rested his head on her shoulder. "Everything is going to be okay now, right?"

"Yes, dear. Everything is going to be okay."

"And Ma?"

"She's still got a long way to go, but with us here for her and with her on this journey, she'll be fine. Absolutely fine. I promise," she whispered and with a smile she added, "We all will. After all, I think this is not only our happy ending, but our happy beginning."

"You're right. It is."

Regina hugged him once again and she closed her eyes when he held on just a little bit tighter. "I love you, Henry."

"I love you too, Mom. Hey, do you think we can do something today? Just the three of us?" Henry asked.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well," he trailed off but he didn't move from their embrace. "I was thinking maybe we could go hiking."

"Hiking?"

"Yeah, out in the woods. What do you think?"

"I think," Regina said and she paused for a moment before sighing. "I think that is a wonderful idea, Henry, but we'll have to see how Emma feels later. We both had a fairly long and rather sleepless night."

"Mom—"

"With the storm and everything," she added and Henry groaned as he pulled away from her, his face reddening again in embarrassment. "We'll talk to Emma later when she wakes up. Now, how do you feel about making some apple pancakes for breakfast?"

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Regina smiled. "I'm in the mood to cook and we both know that as soon as Emma smells them cooking, she won't stay in bed all morning."

"Isn't it usually bacon that lures her out of bed?"

"Usually," Regina laughed. "Go on and get the batter out of the pantry, dear. We'll make them like we used to when you were little."

"Can we add a little extra cinnamon too?"

"Of course."

Regina stood back and sipped her coffee, watching Henry as he got the bowls, the hand mixer, and everything they'd need to make apple pancakes. She reflected back on a lot of things while she oversaw Henry making the pancakes on his own, from when he was just a young toddler learning everything for the first time to how far he'd come in the years since then. She thought about the changes, the good and the bad, they had all gone through since Emma came into their lives.

She truly couldn't imagine their life without Emma in it and she didn't want to ever have to do just that. It had come close a few times, especially when she found Emma half alive in her bathroom, overdosing and on the brink of death and again in New York City when she had made it to the apartment with just seconds to spare before Emma slipped and shot herself with a lethal dose of the drug that had sunk its dirty teeth into her.

She would keep her promise, to herself, to Henry, to Emma. She would do anything it took to keep Emma from slipping again, not just because of where they were as a couple, but because they were family.


	12. Chapter 12

( _One Year Later…_ )

Regina sat on the park bench, watching Emma and Henry as they tossed a football around not too far from where she was sitting. It was hard to believe a year had gone by in the blink of an eye, but it had, and there they were, happy and in love and a family.

Regina had been reflecting a lot about the things that had happened in the past year, especially with Emma's one year clean coming up in just a few short days. There had been some ups and downs, but Emma had stayed strong and held on. Emma didn't slip, but there had been a few moments when she nearly did and some moments when she was more than ready to give up her fight. Emma didn't slip, and not just because Regina was there to make sure she didn't, but because she had grown stronger and more in control of herself over the months. After what had happened when she'd run off to New York, Regina became the first person Emma went to when she felt like she was starting to slip and Regina always kept her from slipping off the edge, one way or another.

Their relationship as a whole was strong and the bond they shared only grew deeper as the months went by. Their relationship wasn't easy by any means. They still bickered and had petty little fights over things that didn't matter at the end of the day, but even on days where they couldn't stand to be around one another, they never went to bed angry. It was one of the things Emma had promised her early in their relationship that they would never go to bed angry with one another no matter what they'd been fighting or bickering about that day.

They had almost grown dependent on each other, more Emma than Regina, and their sex life was healthy and thriving in the best of ways. Despite their insatiable nature, they didn't spend every night making love until their bodies couldn't take it anymore, though there were a handful of days every now and then where they just couldn't get enough of one another nor could they sate the hunger of their passion and love. Neither of them wanted Henry to walk in on them, especially after the first time he had when he came home from school early and found them half naked in the study.

As dependent as they had grown on each other, Emma had found her independence slowly yet surely. She returned to work full-time just before Thanksgiving rolled around and she showed up at the office every day to have lunch with Regina. It reminded Regina at the time of the beginnings of their friendship and like she had before, she savored every moment she had with Emma, every little moment.

They had spent Thanksgiving together as a family with the Charming's at the Mills' house. Ruby and her grandmother had been invited and even Dr. Hopper and Pongo had joined them for the feast Regina had spent a while day preparing with Mary Margaret's help. It had been an enjoyable day filled with laughter and far too much food with their family and their friends.

In the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Emma had convinced her parents to move into her old house despite them believing they didn't need the extra space the house would give them to raise Neal. Emma rarely went back to the house aside from the twice a week dinners they had with the Charming's and every time they were in that house, Regina worried that Emma would relapse with the horrible memories she had that originated in that very house. She had longer sessions with Dr. Hopper on the days after those family dinners, and she was quiet and withdrawn on those nights.

Everything really began to change when they joined the Charming's on Christmas Day and learned that they were expecting a baby that was due to arrive early in the summer. Regina had watched Emma carefully after the pregnancy announcement; waiting for her to fall off the path she was on, to slink back to where she'd been before, feeling unwanted and very much the orphan she used to be. Emma surprised her when she didn't slip, and instead helped her mother decorate the third bedroom, transforming it into an adorable nursery for the new baby. She was as excited as her parents were for the arrival of the new baby, if not even more so.

It was shortly after New Year's Eve when they discovered that the spell on the town line had finally eradicated, no longer keeping anyone within its borders and also not keeping any insiders out. Once word had gotten around, people in Storybrooke began to leave, some never to return, other's coming and going and sharing stories of the places they'd travelled to even if the furthest anyone had gone was to New York City. Ruby had been the first to leave and the one that Regina expected never to return, but by the end of January she came back and she hadn't come back alone.

Ruby Lucas' spontaneous marriage to a woman named Amber had shocked everyone, but it only served to put thoughts into Regina's own head about the future of her and Emma's relationship.

While they had talked about their relationship and knew that neither wanted to be with anyone else, marriage had been a topic they both avoided. Regina had always felt that she never wanted to marry again, not after Leopold and what she'd gone through during that time. Her thoughts on marriage started to change after seeing Ruby and her wife around town, but she also knew that she didn't need to marry Emma in order for them to spend the rest of their lives together, happy, in love, and as a family.

As the months passed by and spring arrived, Henry got his learner's permit and Emma was teaching him how to drive. Although he was only fifteen, Emma had argued that he should start to learn, the earlier the better, she had said. Regina had been adamant about it right from the beginning, yet she knew it was one of those rites of passage that Henry needed to experience in his life, one that would keep his life as close to normal as normal was in their small town.

Every evening, for an hour, Emma took Henry out in her Bug to teach him how to drive, stressing how important it was for him to learn how to drive manual as it would enable him to drive any type of vehicle in the future. Regina worried endlessly whenever they were out driving, she stressed about all the things that could go wrong, and her anxiety was extremely high when her phone would ring, always thinking of the worst.

After weeks of learning, Henry had talked Regina into coming one evening for one of his lessons. Up until that day, she refused endlessly to get in the car with Henry behind the wheel. Regina had sat in the backseat, clutching on to Emma's shoulder tightly the entire time. While she had admitted, and only to herself at the time, that Henry was indeed a good driver, she vowed never to get back in the car until he was more experienced and had his full license.

As spring turned to summer and Mary Margaret's due date approached, Regina noticed that Emma had started to revert back to where she'd been nearly a year before. Emma put on a happy face most days, but Regina saw right through her. She did what she could to give Emma her space and it had started to put a strain on their relationship for a few weeks before Emma finally snapped out of the mood she'd been in and surprised Regina with a bouquet of flowers from Game of Thorns one afternoon and promised that after the baby was born that she'd take her and Henry to New York City for a week.

Mary Margaret gave birth to a healthy and thriving baby girl on the first of June just mere minutes after midnight. Emma had been reluctant to go to the hospital the following morning, but when she held her baby sister for the first time, everything changed and she went back to being happy and excited as she had been months before when she helped her mother set the nursery up.

For two weeks following the birth, the newborn baby was without a name. The Charming's couldn't agree on what to name the adorable blonde-haired, green eyed baby and everyone in town seemed to be eagerly awaiting the reveal of the baby's name. Regina saw Mary Margaret and the newborn baby almost every day. Emma joked that she had become the baby whisperer since the baby had taken a strong liking to her next to her mother.

Regina shifted her focus back to her son and her lover, watching as Henry threw an almost perfect spiral that Emma fumbled. Early in the spring they had started coming to the park on Sunday afternoons before they would go to the Charming's for a family dinner and Regina had watched Henry go from being unable to throw or catch the football to being able to do both flawlessly.

"Come on, Ma!" Henry laughed and he walked over to her and picked up the football from the grass. "You never miss! What gives?"

"Must be tired today, kid," Emma shrugged and she bumped her shoulder into his as they headed over to the bench where Regina was sitting. "Hey."

"Hey," Regina smiled, allowing Emma to sneak in a quick kiss before she sat down heavily on the bench next to her. "Tired already, my love?"

"Little bit."

"You had a late shift last night. Perhaps we should go home and you can have a nap before we join your parents for dinner?"

"Yeah?" Emma smiled as she slipped a hand into Regina's. "I'd like that."

"Can I drive home?" Henry asked and Regina shook her head no. "Come on, Mom. It's like five minutes away. You know I'm a good driver and I'm getting better with every lesson Ma or Grandpa gives me. Ma, tell her."

"It's true," Emma said with a nod of agreement. "He is getting better, Regina, and it's only a five minute drive. Let him drive."

Regina gave in and once they were in the Bug, much like the first time she'd been in the car during one of Henry's lessons, she sat behind Emma and gripped tightly on to her shoulder the entire five minute drive from the park to the house. She didn't loosen her grip until Henry pulled the Bug into the driveway and came to a stop, grinning widely as he pulled the emergency brake and killed the engine.

"Well?" Henry asked as he turned in the seat to look back at Regina. "I'm a pretty good driver, aren't I, Mom?"

"Y—yes," Regina replied shakily and she managed to let go of Emma's shoulder so that Emma could get out of the car. Emma helped her out of the backseat and she felt a little uneasy on her feet. "I'm not ready for this," she whispered as she held on to Emma's shoulders to keep her balance. "I'm not ready."

"He won't be able to drive on his own for another two years, Regina," Emma reminded her and she pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Don't worry. He is a good driver and he is only going to get better, okay?"

"I'm still not ready."

Emma laughed and wrapped her arms around her tightly. "Me neither, but he's growing up, Regina, and there is nothing we can do to stop that from happening. We just need to roll with it, you know?"

"Roll with it?" Regina asked incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," Emma chuckled softly into her ear in a way that made a delightful shiver run through her body. "Come on, let's go inside and—"

"And what?"

"Cuddle?" Emma offered as Regina leaned back to look at her. "We don't have to be at my parents' place for dinner for a few more hours."

"I don't cuddle."

"You do," Emma grinned and they both ignored the annoyed grunt that came from Henry as he left them there in the driveway, bolting towards the house to avoid any further embarrassment from his mothers. "You love to cuddle."

"I do not."

"You do," Emma grinned with a waggle of her eyebrows. "Especially naked."

"That is entirely different," Regina replied with a playful roll of her eyes. "That is post-coital cuddling. Acceptable under the circumstances of which it happens."

"What do you say to creating those circumstances so then we can cuddle?"

"Henry is home. It is the middle of the day. We can't—"

"Henry has a new video game he can't put down and a brand new set of those headphones that cut out all background noise."

"Those headphones cost over three hundred dollars!"

"Hey, it was your idea," Emma shrugged. "You told me to get him a pair that would keep him from hearing us at night."

"I didn't tell you to spend that much."

"He hasn't complained about hearing "weird noises" since I got them for him, has he?"

Regina rolled her eyes even though she knew that Emma was right. She sighed and allowed Emma to sweep in to steal a kiss despite the fact they were out on the driveway for anyone to see. They had been careful to keep their affection private, never showing more than the odd hug or peck on the cheek outside of the privacy of their own home. As the kiss grew deeper, passionate, Regina could feel the shakiness start to disappear and she gripped on to Emma tightly, moaning as Emma backed her up against the side of the yellow bug.

A small cough caused them to break apart suddenly and they both turned to look at a flustered but smiling Archie Hopper as he stood at the end of the driveway on the sidewalk with Pongo at his side.

"Good afternoon," he greeted with a smile and a slight tint of pink on his cheeks.

"Good afternoon, Archie," Regina said and she gently pushed Emma away from her and gave her a pointed look. "Lovely day for a walk, isn't it?"

"Quite," he nodded and let go of Pongo's leash to allow the dog to trot over to Emma to be pet. "How are Henry's driving lesson's coming along?"

"Great," Emma grinned as she knelt down in front of the Dalmatian and scratched him behind the ears. "Regina finally came along for a ride today."

"How did that go?"

"Good."

"It was terrifying," Regina said at the same time and Emma laughed heartedly. "I think I'm going to need a session after that," she said jokingly and Archie laughed and shook his head in amusement. "Highly traumatizing, I tell you."

"We should head off," he said and clicked his tongue at Pongo and the dog obediently returned to his side. "I'll see you tomorrow morning at eleven as usual, Emma?"

"Yep," Emma nodded as she stood up. "Do you want me to bring you a bear claw or something else from Granny's?"

"Ah we ought to skip that tomorrow," he said as he gave a pat to his stomach. "Those daily pastries are starting to show."

"Right," Emma nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow, Archie."

"Have a wonderful day, ladies," he said with a nod and he was off a second later with Pongo happily trotting beside him and nudging at his hand for the treats he kept in his pocket.

Regina led the way into the house with Emma following close behind. Regina had barely made it to the stairs that led up into the foyer before Emma had her arms wrapped around her and was kissing hotly along the side of her neck. Emma's hands wandered freely over her front and Regina felt utterly powerless to stop her.

Emma's intentions were more than clear, clearer than the words she'd spoken in the driveway as a hand went to cup Regina's cunt over her pants and the other snaked up to grasp at her left breast. Regina moaned and she placed her hands over Emma's torn between encouraging her to continue and to force her to stop as Henry was home and it was the middle of the day after all.

She turned around and crushed her lips against Emma's, kissing her deeply as a wave of arousal rushed through her body. For a split second she forgot they were just in front of the door and she grabbed on to Emma's rear and pulled her impossibly close.

"Moms, come on!" Henry groaned from behind them and they pulled apart and not quickly enough as they usually did. "Are you _trying_ to make me need to have therapy or something here?"

"Henry."

"Kid, don't you have a video game to be playing right now?" Emma asked easily and Regina, as she did in moments like that, found it hard to believe that Emma could stay so calm and she was so rattled at their son catching them kissing. "Well?"

"Do you have to do that here?" Henry muttered as he pulled the tab on his can of Coke and took a slip, slurping as he did and it made Regina cringe. "Can't you guys like go do that in your bedroom or something?"

"Henry," Regina said again and she shook her head slowly. "Don't you have a video game to be playing right now?" She echoed Emma's words to him and she smirked at the predictable way he rolled his eyes before he headed up to his room as quickly as he could without tripping up the stairs.

"I think it's time for him and his friends to go away for a weekend camping trip again," Emma muttered under her breath as she wrapped her arms around Regina from behind, keeping her hold loose enough for them to walk up the four steps into the foyer together.

"A weekend alone would be wonderful, but…"

"But?"

"He's growing up so fast, Emma," Regina sighed and she turned to look back at her with a small frown. "He already spends so much time with his friends and with Violet."

"He's still home for dinner every night, Regina. He still gives you a hug every day and he still tells us he loves us too. It's better than nothing."

"What if he grows out of it?"

"He's fifteen now, he'll have his moments, but he also knows that family comes first. He won't grow out of it. I promise."

"That's not something you can promise, Emma."

"You made some promises I thought were going to be impossible for you to keep, but you kept them, Regina."

Regina smiled and turned fully in her arms. "I did keep them, didn't I?"

"You are fucking amazing, you know that, right?" Emma whispered. "Even at my lowest, you were there for me and that is something I'm never going to forget. Ever."

"You do know that I kept those promises because I love you, don't you?"

"I know," Emma smiled and she breathed out shakily. "God, I really don't know what I'd do without you, Regina. If you hadn't been there for me…I wouldn't—I—"

"I know," Regina whispered softly. "You have come so far in the last year, my love. I'm so very proud of you for staying so strong, for fighting those urges and cravings for you, for Henry."

"For us."

"For us," Regina repeated and she felt a fluttering in her heart just as she always did when they had moments just like this. "I would do anything for you, Emma."

"As would I. Without even thinking twice about it."

"You have," she smiled as she cupped Emma's face gently with both hands. "In so many more ways than you even realize. I don't know what I would do without you in my life, Emma. You are _everything_ to me. It took a long time for me to realize just what you truly meant to me, but I wouldn't change anything because we are here now. Together."

Emma exhaled sharply and her eyes darkened with lust. "Can I take a rain check on cuddling and just skip right to making love to you right now?" She whispered into Regina's ear huskily. "If Henry wasn't home—"

"He is."

"If he wasn't," Emma continued as she maneuvered Regina towards the bottom of the staircase. "I would take you right here, right now."

"Later, my love," Regina whispered and she immediately kissed away Emma's pout. "I promise to make it up to you."

"Always so full of promises," Emma chuckled and she placed a lingering kiss on Regina's cheek before letting her go. Emma headed up the stairs, turned after a few steps, and winked at Regina before giving her a look that made it so hard for Regina not to become further aroused. "Coming?"

"To cuddle?" Regina asked lightly and Emma nodded with a salacious wiggle of her eyebrows that made Regina laugh. "I'll be up in a little while. I need to make a phone call. Work related."

"It's Sunday."

"I know."

"No work today, Regina," Emma said and she made a come hither motion with both hands and Regina gave in, following her up the stairs and towards their bedroom. "Let's just cuddle for a little while before we have to go to—"

"Cuddle? Is _that_ what you call sex?" Henry asked with a look of horror on his face as they walked past his room. "You know what, maybe it's better if I didn't know."

"It means exactly what it is supposed to mean," Regina said flatly. "And I don't cuddle."

"Oh you are wrong," Emma grinned and she turned to their son. "She really loves to cuddle. In fact, your mom is the best cuddle-partner I've ever had."

"Ma!"

"Emma!"

"What?" Emma looked innocently at them both. "It's true!"

"You guys are gross," Henry rolled his eyes and he reached to close his door, unable to hide the smile on his face that showed just how happy he was that they had found happiness together. "What time are we leaving later?"

"Four," Regina replied.

"Okay," Henry nodded. "Cool. Can I drive?"

"Sure."

"No," Regina said with a shake of her head at Emma. "We agreed you'd only drive when you are having a lesson."

"It could be a lesson," Emma offered with an easy smile that made her look utterly adorable and impossible to say no to. She turned to Henry and smiled at him. "Just be ready to go at four, kid."

Emma wrapped her arms around Regina from behind almost the second Henry had shut his bedroom door. Regina leaned back against her, smiling to herself as Emma kissed along her neck. She knew what Emma was doing and she hated to admit it, but it was working and she was most definitely going to give in to her advances if she kept it up.

Regina led the way to their bedroom and pulled out of Emma's embrace. She slipped out of her heels before moving to sit on the left side of the bed, smiling over at Emma as she watched her kick off her running shoes before jumping on to the middle of the bed.

With a laugh, Regina laid back and Emma moved to lay at her side immediately. Despite Emma's urging to have sex before, she just lay at Regina's side and placed her head on Regina's shoulder with a soft, content sigh. Regina closed her eyes and focused on the way Emma traced her fingers over the buttons on her blouse and over the belt on her charcoal slacks.

Regina placed a hand over Emma's and opened her eyes as Emma lifted her head up and rested it on her hand. Regina mouthed "what" and Emma shook her head with a small smile and leaned in to kiss her ever so softly.

Emma kissed her once more and laid her head back down on Regina's shoulder, sighing softly as she gently tugged at Regina's blouse, pulling it out from where it was tucked into her slacks. Regina tried to stop her and Emma shook her head.

"I just want to feel you," she murmured quietly. "Don't worry, I know you don't want to have sex right now."

"Emma—"

"I know that what we have is more than just our physical connection with each other, Regina. I like the physical side, but I like this too. Just being here with you."

"I like just being here with you too."

"It's been a year, Regina," Emma said after a moment of silence passed between them. "A year since you found me barely alive. A year since I last had a fix."

"You've been doing wonderfully, Emma. I am so very proud of you."

"And now I think I'm addicted to you," she sighed softly and Regina inhaled deeply as Emma's fingers danced along her abdomen lightly. "I'm addicted to the way you make me feel, I'm addicted to kissing you, to touching you, to our connection, to the way my magic feels when we're close, and it's more than that too, more in ways I don't even know how to describe because there are no words to describe all the ways that you make me feel."

Regina didn't say a word; she just smiled and kissed the top of Emma's head, feeling everything she was saying through their strong connection to one another. She ran a hand up Emma's arm and smiled again.

"Maybe addicted is the wrong word to be using, considering where we were before we ended up where we are now. I just—I'm happy, Regina. Sometimes I feel like it is nothing but a dream, to feel this way, to be happy and—and loved," Emma whispered and she lifted her head to look into Regina's tear-filled eyes. "I never thought I'd feel happy again, or happy at all because my whole life, Regina, I've never known what it's like to feel this way."

"Happy?"

"Happy and in love and just…free."

"Free?"

Emma nodded and shifted more on to her side, propping her head up with her hand again. "Free of burden," she clarified. "Free of guilt. Free of nightmares, and free of craving something that was killing me. You saved me, Regina."

Regina smiled because it was all she could do. They'd had this conversation before a few times and each time it moved her to the brink of tears. Happy tears. Regina slipped her fingers into Emma's hair and pulled her in for a deep, passionate and emotional kiss. Emma pulled back after a few short minutes and shook her head.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm just happy you've made it this far, Emma."

"Yeah?" Emma smiled, her own eyes filling with tears. "I couldn't have done it without you, Regina. It was already a long, hard road, but somehow you made it easier."

"It will always be a long, hard road, Emma. You just know now you are more than strong enough to get through anything that stands in your way."

"With you."

"And Henry," Regina said and she stroked her fingers through her hair. "And your parents. Your baby brother and sister. Your friends."

"You mostly."

"Now you're just trying to get me naked," Regina chuckled light-heartedly.

"Is it working?"

"Later," Regina whispered and she kissed Emma's pout away. "I already promised you to make it up to you later."

"Right."

"Don't pout, dear," Regina chuckled. "You already have me in bed and cuddling and it's the middle of the day. What more do you want?"

"You know what I want."

"You are impossible."

"You love me even when I'm impossible."

"I love you no matter what, Emma Swan."

"I love you too," Emma smiled and she moved to lay at Regina's side once more, her fingers continuing to stroke over her abdomen lightly.

As she always did, Regina basked in the moment with Emma, lying with her as Emma fell into a deep sleep with relative ease. She stroked her fingers through Emma's hair, knowing what a calming and relaxing effect it had on her, and she reflected back once again on the past year of their lives together.

Eventually she too drifted off to sleep and when she woke, it was a few hours later and Emma's hand that had been stroking along her stomach had moved to cup over her left breast. She eased Emma's hand away before slipping out from their embrace without waking her. She changed out of her wrinkled blouse and slipped on another, all the while keeping an eye on Emma as she continued to sleep peacefully in their bed.

Regina heard Henry's footsteps out in the hall and she walked out of the bedroom before he could enter. "She's still sleeping," she said quietly. "Are you all set to go?"

"Yeah," Henry said with a small shake of his head. "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Can I go out after we have dinner? I kind of promised Vi I'd take her out for ice cream tonight."

"Of course you can," Regina smiled and she ran her hand over his head lovingly. "You are truly happy with her, aren't you?"

Henry blushed and nodded his head. "Yeah, I am. She's…she's pretty awesome."

"She is," Regina chuckled. "Go on and brush your teeth before we leave, dear. I'll wake Emma up and we'll head out and no," she said as she held up a finger. "You are not driving to your grandparents' house. This is not a discussion."

"Fine."

Regina returned to the bedroom once Henry had walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth and she wasn't surprised to find the bed empty, nor was she surprised when Emma all but tackled her down to the bed. She gave in, just for a moment, kissing Emma deeply as their hands wandered freely. She put a stop to things despite her body reacting to Emma's touch, once again promising to make it up to her that night.

They made it to the Charming's just after four that afternoon. David was watching a baseball game on the television in the living room with Neal playing on the floor with some cars. Henry joined them while Regina headed into the kitchen to make sure that Mary Margaret didn't need any help in preparing dinner. Emma had followed her and tried to steal some of the cookies that were cooling on the counter, wincing when Mary Margaret snapped a towel at her and told her that the cookies were for dessert and sent her off to join her father and the boys in the living room.

Dinner went as it always did, smoothly despite the baby waking up from her nap halfway through, hungry and cranky and in need of a diaper change shortly afterwards. After dinner and dessert, and after the baby had been put to bed early and Henry settled in front of the television with Neal to watch a movie, the adults headed out to the backyard to sit around the fire out together.

Regina sat in the Adirondack chair watching Emma as she and her father struggled with the marshmallows they were trying to cook over the small fire. Mary Margaret had disappeared inside and returned with a bottle of wine and four glasses. Though Emma didn't drink much at all, there were a few occasions when she indulged in a glass of cider or a glass of red wine. She just smiled at Mary Margaret when she handed her a rather full glass and she shifted her attention back to Emma, watching in delight as Emma groaned when her marshmallow fell off the stick and into the flames.

Emma's second attempt at her marshmallow was a success and she grinned as she approached Regina, holding out the stick for her to take it. Regina shook her head no and took a sip of her wine, raising an eyebrow at Emma when Emma sat on the arm of the chair and pulled the warm, gooey marshmallow off the stick and held it out towards her.

"Take a bite."

"No," Regina said lowly.

"It's good," Emma grinned and she took a small bite of the marshmallow and wiggled her eyebrows before holding it out to her again. "Just take a bite, Regina. It's not going to kill you or anything."

"Emma—"

"Please?"

Regina had found, in the last year they had been together, that it was utterly impossible for her to say no when Emma pulled out the pout that made her adorable and irresistible all at once. All too aware that the Charming's were watching their every move, Regina tentatively leaned forward to take a bite of the marshmallow Emma held between two fingers and she fought back a small moan as she pulled away.

She was caught off guard when Emma ducked down and kissed her squarely on the lips, the kiss lingering only just a few seconds, but it being longer than the last—and only—time Emma's parents had been a witness to any form of affection between them.

It was Emma's happy and content smile when they parted that made Regina smile in return and forget, just for a moment, that they were not alone. Emma smiled wider before dropping a kiss to her forehead and taking the last of the marshmallow past her own lips before sitting in the chair next to Regina's with a long, drawn out sigh.

Regina had expected to feel uneasy with the small amount of affection they had shown in front of the Charming's, but to her surprise, she didn't at all. She relaxed, sipped her wine, watched the fire, and even slipped her hand into Emma's when Emma reached out for her.

"Evangeline," Mary Margaret said quietly, drawing Regina and Emma's attention over to her. "We're going to name her Evangeline."

"That's a beautiful name," Regina smiled over at her. "I think it suits her perfectly."

"Yeah?" Mary Margaret smiled in return. "What do you think, Charming?"

"It's perfect," he said lovingly as he leaned over to kiss her lightly on the cheek.

"I like it," Emma declared as she stroked a thumb over Regina's slowly. "Evie."

"Evangeline," Mary Margaret said, enunciating the newborn baby's newly given name.

"Evie," Emma smirked and Regina playfully rolled her eyes at her.

"On that note," Mary Margaret said as she rose from her chair with David immediately moving in to help her. "I'm going to check in on Evangeline and call it a night. David, will you make sure Neal gets to bed shortly? It's already past his bedtime."

"Of course."

"Good night," Mary Margaret smiled at Regina and Emma.

Regina and Emma both returned the sentiment and neither moved as David ushered Mary Margaret into the house, leaving them alone out in the backyard in front of the fire. Regina was happy in that very moment and she knew she was feeding off of Emma's own emotions and Emma's own happiness.

Just off in the distance, a soft melody of music floated through the air and Emma rose from her chair and beckoned to Regina with a flourish. Regina downed the last of what was in her wine glass and allowed Emma to lift her out of the chair, their arms immediately falling around one another as Emma led, their bodies swaying to the soft music that could only faintly be heard.

Like all of the little moments they shared, Regina basked in that very moment, of Emma's arms around her securely and their bodies swaying in time of the slow beat of the faint music they could hear. She took a few seconds to just really look at Emma, to look into her eyes, to admire the way they looked in the dancing and flickering light of the fire, and she knew more than anything that she would love Emma Swan for the rest of her life and for many lifetimes after the one they were living in.

She had felt many things through their connection over the past year—longer than that when she reflected on their rocky past together, but nothing came close to what she was feeling in that very moment. It was a feeling that went beyond happiness, and that went beyond love, beyond understanding. It was a feeling that no words could describe and it was the most incredible thing that she had felt in her entire life.

Even though she had been so oblivious to Emma's downfall in the months before she had discovered what Emma had been doing to herself, she had been there for her every step of the way since and she would be there every step of the way for as long as Emma needed her to be.

Even if that meant forever.

She wasn't sure what kind of forever they would have, if any, but it was a long road to true happiness and a road they had found themselves travelling along on together. She sunk a hand into Emma's hair and pulled her in for a kiss. It didn't last more than a second before Emma spun her around and they erupted into laughter before falling into one another's arms once again.

She would happily stay on the road they were on if that meant a life as she now knew it, a life with Emma that was filled with love and small, precious moments she would forever cherish in her heart.

It had been a long road to get to where they were, but the road they were on was far longer and filled with nothing but happiness, family, and love.

The End

* * *

 **Final Notes: I just want to thank those who have been reading the story and have taken time to leave some feedback. While this story didn't take off as well as I had hoped, it was fun to write and interesting to dive into a subject most people don't want to get into. About halfway through, I got rather discouraged because of the lack of response to the story. A gentle reminder to readers how important leaving some feedback (even just one or two words) is for all writers, because sometimes, just following/favouriting a story doesn't tell a writer how you actually feel about a story. I'm not unappreciative to those who have given a moment or two to leave some feedback. Know that I do appreciate you taking the time to do just that and that I look forward to the things you have to say, even if it's not much at all, it still means a lot :)**


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